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Hello all –
I've been at this for a long time, am pretty confident and put together when in girl mode, having been out lots of times to lots of places over the years – My beautiful wife is really wonderful and supportive and knew who I was even before we started dating – Since we have been married, I’ve haven’t been out in public, and never at all with her when en femme – It would be something new for us to get out, find some dark, quiet place and have a drink or maybe go shopping, but she is a bit hesitant – I need to feel the rush of walking down the street in heels again and it’d be really great to go together!
Have any of you been here? Will you share your insights or experiences? Help me see this from her side – Thanks for taking the time to listen – B.
I can't really answer for her, but I would say to go slowly, find out her reasons for being hesitant and see if agreement/understanding can be reached.
From my perspective, it's the full realisation of who I am - acknowledging publicly that there is this side of me, and gaining acceptance of it from other's.
To have that acceptance from and with my lovely wife is the ultimate goal for me.
I have been out dressed with her 3 times, and each time was incredible, but not quite right for one reason or another - except the first time, a Halloween party for which we had to travel across London by foot and tube.
We both had such a great time, I could never understand why she didn't want to do it again - but then we're different people. Long story!
Maybe your wife would be less hesitant if you both went to a club in a neighbouring town, say, a couple of hours away, where you're unlikely to be recognised?
Go to an LGBQT bar and feel right at home - or just go shopping in that town.
Love Laura
To echo Laura, one of the best places to start is at a LGBTQ venue (out of town), you're less likely to have other people ogling at you or run into anyone you know. Both my fiancee and I enjoy drag shows, so we had a ball at a club in a town 2 hours away that had a show where I could be me and we could both just enjoy the show.
My suggestion is do something you enjoy doing together, except this time you're dressed...
-M
Hello Brijanna
I, for the most part, don't go the whole nine yards, I dress fully but don't normally do the wig and make part. I am pretty confident and outgoing most of the time when connected to my femme. My gf, while super supportive and engaging becomes anxious when out due to the possibility of confrontation, it escalates depending on my attire, or should I say, skimpiness thereof. Yesterday we had a planned trip so I asked her what she would be comfortable with me wearing, she chose a couple of items from my wardrobe and out we went. A simple pair of skinny jeans, a modest top with bra and bumps lol, and sandals with painted toes. It was just for groceries, but that actually meant three stops at different stores, she actually enjoyed some of the reactions, from men and women. None were negative and the more often this happens, the easier it will get for her. Was a great afternoon, and hope you get there.
Thanks Laura -- I love your idea - It is kind of a long way to travel to a place with drag shows (we've moved out of the city) but I think she's warming up to the idea of doing something like that though -- I really want to get out, and may just go by myself, but I don't want her to feel left out or afraid for my safety -- We'll See --
My wife and I are planning a trip in October to go out together out in public. We will be in a safe place where she is confident we will not run into anyone we know. The only reason she has that fear is she really just wants to have fun and not explain or answer questions about my dressings. She is so incredible.
I had been dressing a couple of years when I met my wife. At the time, I was wearing pantyhose with short shorts and platform wedges. She liked my look. A couple of weeks later I introduced her to Patty. She was surprised at how pretty and sexy I was.
I became not just her boyfriend but girlfriend too. That meant she wanted me to become Patty and go shopping with her. She also thought it would be fun if I went out as Patty. I had been out fully dressed several times but it was mostly for parties. That usually meant going from the house to the car, driving to the party and going from the house to the party. I also used to occasionally get out to do some brief errands but never spending the day fully dressed around lots of people.
She nagged me to get dressed and go shopping with her. We went to a large mall. I was enjoying being Patty but pretty nervous too. I had been in this mall shopping, countless times partially dressed. Spending several hours in this mall fully dressed as Patty turned out to be fun. Lot's of thrilling and exciting moments but several incidents of fear too.
We ended up going out many times over the next few years. Sometimes just getting dressed and go driving around. I always found it to be a large range of emotions. We still do it occasionally, but as I got older I seem to have lost much of my nerve.
I often go out with my ex girlfriend we go to trans clubs or bars I usually get changed in the club or at a hotel as some people in London are still a bit narrow minded
Well -- I've gotten out by myself a few times more; went to a shopping center, did some window shopping and a couple of other things -- It was great, nobody really noticed and I felt like I blended right in -- I love the way it feels to walk down the street in heels and having the breeze in my hair -- I'm still working on getting my partner to go with -- Hopefully sometime soon -- Thanks to all of you who have replied; it's been helpful --
Patty -- You are so lucky to have a partner like that -- It would be a dream come true to go shopping with my girl, she has such a good eye and really great taste -- I think she's worried though because I am a bit taller than her especially when I'm in heels...Thanks for writing and don't loose your nerve --
We often go out together with me dressed up. When younger my sister would dress me and take me on double dates with guys. I quickly learned how to judge how far to let them go with me. I was surprised how many would treat me like a girl.