This is the year… How do I tell my wife I’m a crossdresser?

Hiya, Kandace; I read your bio... SHE ALREADY KNOWS!  There's no way of "telling her" - just outright ask her what stockings she thinks would look good with that mini skirt you undoubtedly have stowed away in the back of your cupboard!  Do it very "matter of fact" - I can pretty much guarantee that she will not bat an eyelid and will tell you that the black, lacey top holdups will look fantastic!  You have nothing to worry about; just go for it!  Holly XXX

I agree, she already knows. You have dressed i front of her many times already and she has accepted it. It is like the elephant in the room.  Have the conversation thanking her to allow you to dress and tell her how much you like it and ask her how she feels about it.  If she had issues, she woudl haev said more than a "raccoon eyes" comment or why are you dressing or any other potentially negative response.

Keep us posted

I agree, she already knows. BUT what exactly does she know/ think about all this. You have already had a couple of great opportunities to tell her, you just need to suck it up and do it.
Maybe you can pick a time when you know she will be willing to listen to your story. Maybe show her some pictures of yourself and communicate how much you love presenting as a woman. Be prepared to answer all the normal questions.
Good luck. Cassie

Kandace I agree with others she definitely knows. I also have told myself this is the year I tell my wife about my Crossdressing we have been married over 40 years she is a very smart observant lady so I’m sure she has her suspicions. I look forward to hearing how the talk goes for you any advise you or others have is greatly appreciated. Good luck!

Hi Kandace, I agree she probably knows something.   All I can offer is what I would do which may or may not work for your situation. I wouldn’t take for granted what she knows or doesn’t know. The info in your bio is a good way to let her know how you got where you are . Including the instances with her that could help her associate with what your telling her. If it where me I would be careful not to place any expectations on her being involved unless she brings it up.  Leave that up to her. Give her time to process the info that you are a cross dresser
Good luck, maybe you’ll be one of the lucky ones and she’ll dive right in and say get dressed we’re having a glass of wine or something. Just make sure whatever route you take you are addressing her concerns, needs, etc.

Hi Kandace. I have to agree from reading your Bio and the other comments that she already knows. Maybe not to the extent of how much you love dressing. I think she is waiting for you to bring it up. It is a conversation we all fear but I feel you have a very understanding wife. Just go slow and answer her questions as they arise. Keep the conversation going. Not all at once but over time. Good luck Kandace!!!! You are in a great place for support!!!

RachelAnn

thanks so much for taking the time it is so very much appreciated. I agree with everyone I really believe deep down inside she knows and the several instances where I’ve “ presented “ she’s never had a negative or blow up moment but she is someone who likes to keep things inside ( maybe block out) that she may rather not discuss.. I don’t know I’m rambling now, but thanks again for the help

Kandace

Thanks so much Leah, I agree with everyone and deep down inside I believe she knows and not because that’s what I want to believe, I am just so damn scared to start the conversation. I’ve thought of settling with a good bottle of wine in hopes I get tipsy and this will give me the courage to start the conversation. I thank you so much for your time and thoughts about my situation, it really means a lot especially being the new girl to block here!

Sincerely,

Kandace

Hi Holly, me and my wife hsve SO much fun together, shes Brianna's best freind, was a life changing move to tell her, best thing i EVER did, showed her a skirt i wore one Halloween, she didnt say much, then elaborated on how much i liked it, started wearing it around the house, then had the discussion, are you gay, bla, bla, told her my feelings about dressing up, then it snowballed from there, Brianna was born!!! Yay, now she buys me clothes, jewelry, scarfs, if your wife accepts one aspect, feel her out, go from there,, good luck, best wishes.
Xx
Brianna

My wife is similar, while we had the talk years ago, she takes a don’t ask don’t tell approach and if I’m being honest I’ve found she doesn’t think about it a half of a percentage as much as I do, lol. She doesn’t look down on it, but she doesn’t wish to be involved which is fine. We have guidelines like don’t go out in our immediate area, the kids don’t know, etc. nothing major. The bottom line for us is  I’d rather have her in my life then push her involvement in something she isn’t comfortable with. She says dressing in cloths made for women once in a while is a pretty small blip in the roller coaster of marriage and life. Just thought I’d offer what we do that works for us, but everyone’s situation is different.

After reading your bio I am with the girls that think your wife knows and the common consensus is that you should go for it. If you can't say the words then print off your profile and as the next dinner together ends pour a glass of wine for each of you and offer the words you used in your profile' I have a gift for you and a surprise' then hand it over.

Brianna,

Thanks so much for taking the time and thanks so much for the suggestions I’m lucky to have new friends like you who offer guidance and help, I am very grateful!!!!

Sincerely

Kandace

Angela,

Thanks so much for taking the thoughtful time to respond, I appreciate it. I like the suggestion of using my profile for her to read, I can tell you one thing, the wine will be a must to give me courage! Thanks again!

Sincerely

Kandace

Hello Before you talk to your wife, you have to be honest with yourself! What do you want from this? Do you just want to crossdress more and with her, do you want to become a full time woman or somewhere in-between? Are you just a crossdresser or do you have Gender dysphoria? You may all ready know the answer to that. If you're unsure and need help with that then go see a therapist! It never hurts to talk with the pro's. I did that and found out that I'm gender fluid!

When you are ready to talk with your wife be truthful and honest with her and give her time to absorb it all in and go from there! Society is starting to understand that there is more than just male and female! You wife may understand that also or maybe will have to talk to a therapist as well.

My wife of 33 years knows I wear panties and did not care. She works in the medical field so she understands what I'm going through. But I do believe there is a I had enough button in her and I don't want to push it!

You should tell your wife everything as she has the right to know! I think getting caught would make it worse because she will wonder what else you are doing behind her back! People here thinks she already knows and maybe she has a blind eye for it! So she might say I know that already!
I wish you the best on this and hope everything comes out well and you are accepted for who you really are! Good luck Brenda