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Update Coming Out at Work

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Posts: 124
Lady
Topic starter
(@confused11)
Estimable Member     HARRISONVILLE, Missouri, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

Hi girls, I have great news at this point. Last week I spoke to HR at work about gender expression. They advised me to talk to my manager. On Friday last week I spoke to my manager and I told her I wanted to express myself as a woman. She checked with HR the best way to proceed. So Monday management had a meeting with the rest of the office and told them I would be expressing myself differently and for them to refer to or about me in the female pronouns. Additionally, they asked me which restroom I felt comfortable using. I told them I felt better using the women's restroom. I did ask them to check with the other girls in the office.

Before I went into work today I asked about the restroom and told I can use the woman's.  Today I went to work with a new feminine hair style even dyed. I wore my ankle high high heel boots, a pretty black and grey blouse with sparkling stones. I wore my make up with red lipstick, bracelet and necklace, and pieced ears with cute rainbow flowers.

There was no negativity that was shown to me. I did find some of the other managers were unsure how to talk to me and I was able to help them understand talk to me like you always did. Plus I had a couple other co-workers tell me they did not want to offend me in how they presented me or what they said to me.

So with my co-workers getting them comfortable treating me as just another one of the girls is key. I see this takes talking with them so they feel free and safe not to cause trouble.

Additionally, I work for the largest trucking company in the country so I had truck drivers who knew me as a previous truck driver. I gave shock but to this point no negativity. I still have many more to come face to face with. I did get compliments on how I looked and some very encouraging statements expressing how brave they thought I was and that they never expected this from me so big shock. But they were happy for me as I told them I like myself better and feel so much better.

As a transgender I want to praise JB Hunt transportation for their respect and care they have shown me. I would encourage other transgenders if you wan to work in transportation this would be a great company to check out.

There is still more nervousness I will have to face and still believe I will find a driver who is very negative. However, I feel so happy to be out and felt good being myself in the world I have to be in every day.

Therefore, I encourage you girls to check the places you work and see what their no discrimination policy states. That was my first step. Then I took the advice of Gaby here on the site and spoke with HR. Now here I am free to be me at home and work.

I am so happy right now!!!

🤗😘

Jessica

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7 Replies
Posts: 1351
Ambassador
(@elbereth)
Noble Member     Northampton, Massachusetts, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

Hi Jessica,

What a wonderful update it is!  I am not sure if I will ever be that brave but I thank you for putting yourself out there, showing others that we are people they know and that we are just trying to be who we are just like everyone else.  You Rock, Girl!

 

hugs, Michelle

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Posts: 0
Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

Jessica,

I’m happy for you. I hope things will continue going well and that your success story will help others in a similar situation.

Love

Gaby

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Posts: 124
Lady
Topic starter
(@confused11)
Estimable Member     HARRISONVILLE, Missouri, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

Hi Jessica,

What a wonderful update it is! I am not sure if I will ever be that brave but I thank you for putting yourself out there, showing others that we are people they know and that we are just trying to be who we are just like everyone else. You Rock, Girl!

hugs, Michelle

Michelle I think that was the biggest lesson for me. Seeing how they did not expect thinking I was the manly man. I think we have been pushed down and hid so long people have no clue this is an internal battle. Additionally, so many girls are forced to feel bad about their selves because they can't be who they are.  I was one of those girls spending life sad, angry and trying to find my way because I was always taught it was one of the worse wrongs in life.  I feel so much better about myself as long as I don't think about I'm hurting others being myself.

Thank you Michelle I appreciate your statement.

🤗😘

Jessica

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Posts: 124
Lady
Topic starter
(@confused11)
Estimable Member     HARRISONVILLE, Missouri, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

Hi Gaby,

I hope the same on going good. I truly hope my experience will encourage so many girls as well. It feels so liberating to be yourself.

Thank you Gaby for your advice it really helped so much.

🤗😘

Jessica

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Posts: 595
Ambassador
(@marianne65)
Honorable Member     Uppsala, Uppland, Sweden
Joined: 8 years ago

Jessica,

I loved to read your update. It is inspiring in so many ways. I am also transgender and my boss and colleagues at work all know and support me. I will probably never transition though, as that would force me to break up a marriage that has lasted 23 years this far. I almost exclusively wear women's clothes to work but choose styles that let me present as a feminine male. I wear ear rings in pierced ears and sometimes a hint of makeup. I would love to have a name change and live my life as a woman, but as I previously said that will hardly happen.

Ellen Marianne Tornander

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Posts: 124
Lady
Topic starter
(@confused11)
Estimable Member     HARRISONVILLE, Missouri, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

Jessica,

I loved to read your update. It is inspiring in so many ways. I am also transgender and my boss and colleagues at work all know and support me. I will probably never transition though, as that would force me to break up a marriage that has lasted 23 years this far. I almost exclusively wear women’s clothes to work but choose styles that let me present as a feminine male. I wear ear rings in pierced ears and sometimes a hint of makeup. I would love to have a name change and live my life as a woman, but as I previously said that will hardly happen.

Ellen Marianne Tornander

Hi Marianne,

I totally understand the protecting your marriage. I have been married for 33 years. So I am currently playing a balancing act. At work I can be a woman but with my wife she is still adjusting. She has already expressed she feels like she is losing her husband. So I'm working with her to help it be easier on her. However, I'm still working to be more feminine in everything I do. I want to express myself female even if I'm being male for my wife. I continue to tell her my feelings to help. As other girls on here have advised I need to work with her if I want my marriage to last.

I am very happy that you are free to be yourself at work and with your wife. As you know it is wonderful thing.

Thank you so much for telling me your experience it is just as encouraging!!

🤗😘

Jessica

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Posts: 1435
Lady
(@rbekka)
Noble Member     SF Bay Area, California, United States of America
Joined: 8 years ago

That is fantastic, Jessica!

 

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