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Hi Everyone,
A few weeks ago I asked for advice on my relationship with my friend Norma. She has really been key in my transition to Michelle and I've developed strong feelings for her. I decided to go ahead and tell her what I was feeling. We had a long conversation and she thought about what I was saying. Sadly for me she decided that we could not pursue a romantic relationship. She says that she really values the emotional intimacy we've developed as friends and she doesn't want to change that. She's clear in her mind that she is interested in men and she doesn't see me as a man anymore even though I've got the right bits for now. She also wants me to pursue my relationships with men and thinks that is what is best for me.
I'm pretty sad about the whole thing, but I'm thankful to know that she values me as a friend and is going to try to keep that relationship. We went out to dinner a few days later and everything seemed to be ok.
I'm sorry you didn't get the answer you were hoping for Michelle. All we can do in any potential relationship is put ourselves out there. Then it's up to the other person. Often times they dissappear or become little more than an acquaintance. Your friend Norma stated otherwise and it appears she's walking her talk. That's huge! Having a trusted female friend is priceless. You now have a confidant you can talk to about anything. A friend that will transcend relationships. To me, that's a big win!
/EA
Well done you Michelle for having that conversation.
Better to live with something that did not work out the way you wanted than to live with regretting not even have tried. Keep your chin up.
B x
It's true. She is the best friend I could hope for.
I'm happy you had that talk with your friend and it has cleared the air. The best part you remain friends and that in itself is a big win for you as it could have gone either way so enjoy this friendship.
You did the right thing by talking about it with her. Her honest answer may not have been what you wanted but you now have a trusted valuable female friend which is something many CD's hope for but never get to experience.
I would love to have a genetic girlfriend who would accept my Kerri side. Platonic relationship only.
How do you feel about pursuing relationships with men? I know two fully transitioned transwomen and one that is going through the process. The two that have fully transitioned are in relationships with women.... Admittedly, one is with the woman she married when she was male. The third is still attracted to women.
You know if you are attracted to men or not. It's up to you to decide what is best for you.
Cerys
I can tell you that having female friends who understand and accept you as a woman is amazingly wonderful! I have six female friends who love to go out with me, we go out to eat, out to concerts, go for walks, and they love to shop with me when I need some clothing items or cosmetics. I'll try things on so they can tell me if it "works". Well look for earrings and necklaces, it was one of them who paid to have my ears pierced and get my first pair of earrings. Sometimes the girls at work will surprise me with gifts, chocolates, flowers, and last Friday there was a gift bag with a card and a very pretty butterfly necklace.
I gotta tell you, girls definitely have a lot more fun!
Hugs,
Ms. Lauren M
Dear Michelle,
You'll find that women can be emotionally intimate with best friends without romantic feelings. Regardless that you have the rights bits, Norma's friendship with you is more of between two women. You're lucky to have her. She's not interested in a woman/woman relationship. But you are. Perhaps Norma has a friend to recommend?