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First Time out Advice: a different approach

38 Posts
18 Users
163 Reactions
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Posts: 73
Lady
Topic starter
(@megankelly)
Estimable Member     Vancouver , British Columbia, Canada
Joined: 4 years ago

It finally happened: I went out in public fully dressed. What an experience.

I had dreamt about going out in public for many years and read numerous accounts of many cds who had done just that. Almost every person's experience has similar strains to it from finding the courage to get out of the car, to acting 'normal' when walking about. For myself I tried many times to step out of the car but struggled to overcome the anxiety. So being the little scaredy cat I am I went about it another way: I found a big sister. Enter Trish White. For those of you who don't know Trish she is a force when it comes to going out in public having done so for 50+ years. She is also a wonderful person. I met Trish on CDH and we became online friends over the course of a few years. She encouraged me to go out and it finally happened. 

I can easily state how easy it was to step out of the car with Trish walking right beside me. Gone was the anxiety (okay not gone, but greatly diminished) and with it came the realization that what every cd who had gone before me experienced was occurring for me too. Walking around in busy public settings, sitting in bars and restaurants and shopping for clothes became a wonderfully gratifying experience.

So how does one find a big sister like Trish? Take your time and see who lives around you. CDH is a good site for getting to know people safely. Be careful with the information you give out and look for people whose interests line up with your own. And it helps to get lucky too.

Megan❤️

 

 

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37 Replies
13 Replies
Duchess
(@aprilcdmf)
Joined: 3 years ago

Prominent Member     Nevada, United States of America
Posts: 875

@megankelly 

I am so happy for you Megan, and Trish is absolutely the amazing perfect big sister to be out with glad you two had a wonderful time being out hope to meet you one day and we can all go out together. 

Hugs April

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Lady
(@megankelly)
Joined: 4 years ago

Estimable Member     Vancouver , British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 73

@aprilcdmf 

I look forward to that day. Trish mentioned what an all-star you are.

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Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5221

@aprilcdmf

April ... there's a whole bunch of US friends that I'd also love to meet and you're right up there at the very top of the list.

One day I'll make it happen 🙂

Hugs

Ellie x

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Duchess
(@aprilcdmf)
Joined: 3 years ago

Prominent Member     Nevada, United States of America
Posts: 875

@ellyd22 

Thanks Ellie I know we had talked about Divas which I believe will be around September 28 to October 7 I doubt I will make it have family getting married in early October so I am looking at heading to the River City Gems Sparkle probably around the 25th to 28 th of September. I know we will eventually meet and I so look forward to meeting you. 

Hugs April

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Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5221

@megankelly 

Megan ... having been COMPLETELY jealous of your photos ever since I joined the site (I hate you) I'm amazed to learn that this was your first time out in public.

I'm not sure I'm allowed to use the phrase 'freakin' awesome' on the Forums, but I'm going to.

Megan ... you always look TOTALLY freakin' awesome 🙂

I voted for your photos many, many times in a certain recent competition 🙂

You have an incredible look; relaxed, beautiful and natural.

Anyway ... I loved reading this 🙂

A few months ago the wonderful Lorraine Lowry put me in touch with Trish White PRECISELY because she's amazing at getting first-timers to overcome their fears. I've had some lovely exchanges with Trish since then, and I look forward to many more; that woman deserves a medal for services to the CD community.

Hugs

Ellie x

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Lady
(@megankelly)
Joined: 4 years ago

Estimable Member     Vancouver , British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 73

@ellyd22 

Hi Elly. I think having a fellow sister say she 'hates you' is about the best compliment one can get. So thanks for hating me 😂❤️.

Trish is not only freakin awesome at helping first timers like myself get out, but she is also doing one better. By constantly getting out she is making it more 'normal' for crossdressers to be out in public. She is making things better for the next generation of crossdressers.

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Managing Ambassador
(@lizk)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 3859

@megankelly 

THIS!  Megan I'm so happy for you.  I'd always assumed you went out all the time.  I mean really, how could you NOT go out!  Thank you Trish!

This is what works!  Power in numbers.  Having a big sis (or a few) makes all the difference. 

The girlfriends I socialize with in Palm Springs made it easy to be myself.  They were my big sisters when I was still getting the hang of things.  Predictably, I quickly realized most people just don't care.  They're so wrapped up in their own stuff that they barely noticed me. It didn't take long before I was completely at ease.  Going out on my own became second nature.  Today I go everywhere.  I'm just another gal out doing her business. 

I owe it all to the girls I met in Palm Springs.  You know who you are.  See y'all in a couple of weeks!

/EA

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Lady
(@megankelly)
Joined: 4 years ago

Estimable Member     Vancouver , British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 73

@emilyalt 

Hi Emily. So happy to hear that you have had similar experiences.

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Duchess
(@lauren68612)
Joined: 2 years ago

New Member     Waterville..., Pennsylvania, United States of America
Posts: 2

@megankelly 

So awesome you took that step. Very happy for you. I'm sure the first of many. Congrats!

Lauren 

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Lady
(@megankelly)
Joined: 4 years ago

Estimable Member     Vancouver , British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 73

@lauren68612 

thanks Lauren. Hopefully many more for sure

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Ambassador
(@melanieelizabeth)
Joined: 4 years ago

Honorable Member     New Jersey, United States of America
Posts: 502

@megankelly Congrats Megan. I think your experience is a blue print for others. Having an experienced friend along with a first timer is the best way to do it. I’m really happy for you, and Trish take a bow.  Helping others enjoy their lives is what sisterhood is all about.

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Lady
(@megankelly)
Joined: 4 years ago

Estimable Member     Vancouver , British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 73

@melanieelizabeth 

I'm definitely not the first to have a big sister but it is a huge recommendation.

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Baroness
(@trish1980)
Joined: 3 years ago

Prominent Member     Kamloops, British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 769

@megankelly

It was a wonderful day for both of us Megan and one we waited a long time for it's arrival. It was a day that I'll never forget. Just watching the fear fade and your confidence grow just filled me with happiness. Here's hoping we don't wait as long for the next one. Lauren and I have you penciled in for the Esprit Gala next year  🥰. Luv ya girl.

Trish 💖

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Posts: 812
 Leah
Baroness
(@leah63)
Noble Member     Minneapolis, Minnesota, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

awesome,  glad to hear your going out went well!

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1 Reply
Lady
(@megankelly)
Joined: 4 years ago

Estimable Member     Vancouver , British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 73

@leah63 

Yes Leah. It went well. thanks for the kind words.

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Posts: 1005
Ambassador
(@lucyb112)
Noble Member     Staffordshire, United Kingdom
Joined: 2 years ago

That’s lovely Megan, so glad you enjoyed it. 
There’s no going back now though, that genie is out of the bottle and it won’t want to go back in! 

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2 Replies
Lady
(@megankelly)
Joined: 4 years ago

Estimable Member     Vancouver , British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 73

@lucyb112

I fully understand the consequences.

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Ambassador
(@lucyb112)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Staffordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1005

@megankelly 

In that case, we can look forward to news of the next one 

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Posts: 72
(@michellegirl)
Estimable Member     Northern Michigan , Michigan, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

Oh it is so much fun to dress and go out. I love the feeling that I get, and It never fades. You go GIRL !

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1 Reply
Lady
(@megankelly)
Joined: 4 years ago

Estimable Member     Vancouver , British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 73

@michellegirl 

And I will go again. Thanks Michelle

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Posts: 2172
 J J
Lady
(@jjandme)
Famed Member     California, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

I too am.amazed tou have not been out before. If I looked as good as you I would be a lot more often.

Congratulatiins on getting, it is such a fun experience, and the first time is the best. The combination of nerves and the elation once done can not be describe, but can only be experienced.

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1 Reply
Lady
(@megankelly)
Joined: 4 years ago

Estimable Member     Vancouver , British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 73

@jjandme 

It is something that can only be experienced, not described.

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Posts: 125
Duchess
(@traci429)
Reputable Member     Brighton area, Michigan, United States of America
Joined: 1 year ago

What a great idea. I did go out once by myself walking around downtown San Diego. I was nervous that I would get beat up. I avoided people and did see a few and briefly said hi to one guy. I like the idea of finding a friend to go out with and plan where to go. Thanks for sharing the idea. - Traci

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1 Reply
Lady
(@megankelly)
Joined: 4 years ago

Estimable Member     Vancouver , British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 73

@traci429 

thanks for commenting Traci. That fear of being attacked is very real (but also highly unlikely fortunately).

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Posts: 1381
Managing Ambassador
(@theunrealangelawagner)
Famed Member     San Bernardino, California, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

Megan, you found a way to overcome your fears, you made a plan, and you saw it through. Those are exactly the elements you need to take that first step and go out in public. I am just overjoyed that you were able to make a connection with Trish, and use that connection to achieve your goals.

In my opinion, there are many roadmaps that one can take for going out in public en femme. I took a different one than you did. But what you have done here is remind everyone of a very valid approach to taking that first step in public. Find a friend, or even a group of friends who have been out in public, and simply join them. There is safety and comfort in numbers, as you have demonstrated here.

I am so glad that this experience worked out so well, and was so wonderful for you. You do realize, do you not, that this is just the beginning? I expect to hear more about The Adventures of Megan Kelly.

And I want to see photos too!! 

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1 Reply
Lady
(@megankelly)
Joined: 4 years ago

Estimable Member     Vancouver , British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 73

@theunrealangelawagner 

the adventures of Megan Kelly probably reads the same for about 90% of the good people on this site. I'll post another photo soon.

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Posts: 289
Lady
(@carlafirst11)
Honorable Member     So. California , California, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

Megan, with that face and that figure plus your excellent taste in clothing, the only thing I can say, what took you so long. I think a lot of us would love to have those attributes. Congratulations and keep it up, you look amazing.

 

Carla😧

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1 Reply
Lady
(@megankelly)
Joined: 4 years ago

Estimable Member     Vancouver , British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 73

@carlafirst11 

thanks for the kind words Carla. I am fortunate to have the attributes I do. I look forward to doing this again.

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Posts: 186
Duchess
(@emilysouthern)
Reputable Member     Fayetteville, Arkansas, United States of America
Joined: 1 year ago

I just love reading the stories like this.  Good for you Megan.  The first of many.  As Lucy said, the genie is out of the bottle.

I remember my public debut.  A year and a half ago.. coming into the hotel lobby, hearing my heels click across the tile floor, and into the lounge.  Now, I can't get enough.

Emily

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1 Reply
Lady
(@megankelly)
Joined: 4 years ago

Estimable Member     Vancouver , British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 73

@emilysouthern 

I can now say I know the feeling.

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Posts: 1230
Duchess
(@reallylauren)
Noble Member     Victoria, British Columbia, Canada
Joined: 3 years ago

Megan, what can I say? Trish asked me numerous times if we had gotten together, and here you are! Arrived in style! And with your big sister Trish as your wonderful guide! Congratulations!

I bet you looked gorgeous, pretty enough to make people just a little jealous, I know I would be.

Living in the same neighborhood, let me know if you would be interested in getting together to do some shopping, go for coffee or just hang. I'm a full time girl working in a BC Government building, so I'm used to being out all the time. I would be absolutely delighted to get together with both you and Trish, I really hope that can happen!

Big hugs,

Ms. Lauren M

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2 Replies
Lady
(@megankelly)
Joined: 4 years ago

Estimable Member     Vancouver , British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 73

@reallylauren 

thanks for the invitation Lauren. I look forward to making that a reality sometime in the future.

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Baroness
(@trish1980)
Joined: 3 years ago

Prominent Member     Kamloops, British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 769

@reallylauren 

Me too Lauren, I told her we have her penciled in for the Esprit Gala next year. 🥰

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Posts: 768
Duchess
(@jennconn)
Noble Member     Florida, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

Megan, I’m so happy for you.  You are so beautiful, it’s time the public got to appreciate such a pretty woman.  I know that when you are contemplating going it all seems so hard, and from what you wrote, it is the exact same experience for everyone that goes out.  I’m glad you found Trish to get you out.  I found some CDH girls to coax me out too, and I’m now just like you so happy that I finally did it too.  I’m hoping that someday the opportunity presents itself that we can meet.  

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1 Reply
Lady
(@megankelly)
Joined: 4 years ago

Estimable Member     Vancouver , British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 73

@jennconn 

Thanks for the reply Jennifer. I look forward to the day when I am more freely able to get out and meet good people like yourself. I will keep my fingers crossed.

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Posts: 1079
Managing Ambassador
(@melodeescarlet)
Famed Member     DC/Baltimore, Maryland, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

@megankelly Congratulations! It's a very big hurdle you've got in your rear view now! As many others here have stated, with your fab look I'm surprised you aren't out there with a sack of neck braces for all the heads you put on a swivel! However it shows that it's one's own perception that matters and that we can't do a thing before we're ready.

I'm thrilled you found Trish and I'm certain some day you'll find someone who needs mentoring and get to see the absolute thrill that comes from that side.

Enjoy! 🙂

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Posts: 73
Lady
Topic starter
(@megankelly)
Estimable Member     Vancouver , British Columbia, Canada
Joined: 4 years ago

Hi Melodee,

Thanks for commenting. We are most definitely our own worst critic and it helps to hear such positive feedback on this site. I look forward to the day where I can return the favour for someone that Trish did for me.

Megan❤️

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