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I only recently made instagram for the first time maybe a month ago or so now and showed myself publicly for the first time.
On doing this I overcame the fear of being judged and finally letting something out before then only 2 girls in this entire planet had see me do before, this is why I captioned this forum “interesting concept”
although I was scared of judgment by strangers and scared of people whom I know seeing through my top secret identity -which only entailed a wig, make up and tights 😂- on the other hand I actually looked forward to the reactions hoping they were positive and it really gave me a strong urge to follow my love of wearing pantyhose and girly clothes everyday.
However, after starting the instagram I didn’t get as much attention or engagement by people than previously expecting which really dampened my notion of letting anyone into my other life.
On top of that it won’t let me change the family and friend suggestion and I only noticed after a week or so… I started to fear about my friends and family finding out so I made my account private so they can’t see anything
PROBLEM 1,2&3
1. have now posted on this, I know it only goes so far but the internet is a big wide world platform full of gossip and news
2.I’m self aware enough to realise I am not ready to show the world, I like my secret sexy time with my girlfriend! I think the sheer curiosity of the possibilities after being unhinged of the shackles of society to see my next step was just too appealing!
3. As I still have not been found out my insta remains private which in turns means only the same 90 people or something see my posts which is slowly extinguishing my cross dressing idea of going public
This will be pointless to a few people I imagine but I just find it so interesting that even although we are masters of our own destiny we crumble to societal standards and ‘norm’ opinions of people who we honestly don’t even effect by dressing how we want.
would love to hear back some ideas and feedback on either personal stories or ideas round mine!
thank ya for reading,
Sasha G
I wouldn't worry at all about the IG engagement numbers. It's only one platform, and not everybody is a member or even visitor. (I'm not, nor do I visit unless there is a compelling description of something and a link to it.)
Sorry that it's too late, but everyone must carefully consider what you put on ANY Internet servers. For example, I think Google Drive is one of the securest services, but I still encrypt my backups before copying them there, JUST in case. THIS SITE may be an exception to the rule because it is very well maintained and operated. It is plausible to confide a lot (but perhaps not EVERYTHING) to anyone here. I believe most of what's up here is visible only to members. There is still a slight risk, but think of it: noone would even visit here without cause/some reason, so the risk is probably quite small.
I'd like to clarify some things regarding privacy on CDH.
CDH is a well moderated site for the CD/TG community. Staff works hard to keep the site safe for our members. Undesirables are removed as quickly as possible. That said, it is important to remember the following:
ANYTHING that is posted in the public areas of the site is visible to anyone on the Internet. No membership required. The public areas of the site are: Forums, Chat, Photos, Articles, and Places.
If you make a comment on someone's wall, it is visible to other members, but it isn't visible to anyone on the Internet.
Private Messages are just that. They are visible to only the sender and recipient. If you wish to have a private conversation, this is a great way to do so.
Private Chat is also visible to just the parties in the chat room, but with the key difference that it's in real time. Private Chat requires that all parties have a paid membership.
If you are concerned about your privacy, be careful what you post in the public areas of the site.
Please do not post ANY contact info in the public areas of CDH. This policy is strictly enforced for the protection of all members.
Inappropriate comments should be promptly reported to staff. We will handle it. Please do not engage with these people. Let staff handle it.
Liz K
Deputy Managing Ambassador
Yeah, I get it. The internet presents such an amazing opportunity to be open and out there that the temptation can override logic and reason. I admit, I've struggled with many of the same issues. You're lucky, you seem to have someone to share that part of you with that is accepting of it.
I've also found in the past that it's really tough to connect with people just being a mostly closet cd. I imagine the problem there is that there are just so many that are just like us. It's not easy for us for reach out and connect with different people, and those who are moving along with transitioning I feel have their eyes on the prize and, well, just want to get to as normal of a life as possible.
I too have been extremely private about my dressing. So much so to the point that I was so terrified of anyone rejecting me over it, that I no longer even bothered to try and find anyone. I'm a walking testament to the damage that can be done to a person over years who don't properly deal with this.
Now, it seems that perhaps you're a bit like me. You've thought about being out and about fully dressed, you yearn for it, but never had the courage to take it that far. Once, loooong ago, I had reached out and connected with someone not far from me. I drove out there and spent a couple of days. It was the first (and sadly only) time I met up with another cd and transitioning roommate. It was the only time I dressed around other people. In the evenings we went to the club they did drag shows at, but it wasn't at a time where any of those type events were happening which was a bummer. However it was a mixed crowd with all types and it was my first time being in that type of place. Didn't feel nearly as weird or out of place as I thought I would. Still, theme of the night wasn't my thing but we had fun anyway.
After that, I only remained in contact with them a short time. I turned my attention toward finding someone similar a little closer to home, but nothing ever materialized. After that, well, life happened in all the worst ways and that was when I withdrew into myself for what's literally been a lifetime!
But that seemed to be a decent plan. So long as your girlfriend is game, go to a bar or club that is cd/tg or has drag nights. You don't have to dress up. Just go as a regular couple and take it all in, meet some people and get comfortable in the environment. It's as much to help your girlfriend get more comfortable with it as well. At some point, perhaps you'll get comfortable enough to go dressed up. After that? who knows what could happen? That was my plan, and I was halfway there until I got sidetracked. Don't ever let that happen, you'll never forgive yourself!
