Archived replies to: What was your first experience like?

For me, when I was still a cross dresser, it was in the early 1990s, going to a local gay nightclub, now long demolished. Flashez was on the far south side of Surfers Paradise, and for something to do after a CD group get together, we decided to go to Flashez. I was very nervous, never having gone out nightclubbing, much less been to a gay nightclub, but managed to overcome my fears enough to do it, and to relax enough to enjoy the evening.

Going out to such supportive venues over the next few years, would make me realize that I didn't merely want to just cross dress. More that I wanted to be full time.

As for my first time out in public after starting full time, It was, if anything even more an unexpected turn of events. Having to go public at the last meeting for 1995 for the community housing group I was, and still am, a member of.
At that meeting, I thought that my going public would shock people. It did, but unbeknownst to me, there was a bigger shock in the offing. The then current company Vice President was stepping down and leaving the organization. And when it came to deciding on who would be her replacement, I was elected into that job. Apart from family matters preventing me from keeping the job in 2012/2013, and having to become the Company Secretary this year, I'd stayed as Vice President.

Hey Claudia,

Hehe, wow! What a wonderful reassuring experience! There's nothing like acceptance, surprise or otherwise 🙂

Hey Jenifur,
The gay nightclubs have definitely been a welcoming place for many in the transgender community - I remember many of my early nights out at a local club in Seattle - they did 80s night every Thursday. I loved those evenings 🙂

And wow - what a surprise - and validation of your choice to come out - they definitely wouldn't have elected you if there wasn't a lot of acceptance within the group. And acceptance within yourself as well!

My first (and only) time out was far from glamorous, but what a thrill! I was away from my family on a trip for just two nights. I arrived hours before anyone that I was meeting so I took a trip to the mall while underdressed. The shoe store was empty because it was early so I started to browse and found an amazing supply of platform heels in my size (12) ?? so I had to refrain from buying everything in sight! Feeling daring with the empty store I figured why not and tried them on while I was there...this scared the heck out of me, especially when the sales lady came around and saw me!! She was wonderful and complimented my taste. Then suggested a couple other cute pairs for me. It was a blast!!???? I left with two pairs of heels and a lot of positive energy, so that night I got my girl on as best I could. I was in a tight black dress, stockings, my sexy new 4" heels, and my blonde wig. My hotel room was on the third floor but right across from the stairs so I could duck out across the hallway and head quickly down the stairs. My heart was already about to jump out of my chest! I got to the first floor door and opened it to an empty parking lot right as it started to lightly rain! So I got to try out running across the parking lot in my tight skirt and heels but I managed. I was on such a panic plus exillerated rush at this point I got in my car and didn't know what to do! So I started to drive around and found a Taco Bell drive through that was open...like I said, it wasn't glamorous!!? I pulled up and ordered and drove around. I was totally made when I paid but they said nothing and gave me my food. I drove away with my heart pounding and the craziest smile on my face!! I got back to the hotel and made it to the door with only a few others in the lot that glanced at me but that was all. Got back to my room and was thrilled! I know it was ridiculous compared to what so many do daily, but it took so much nerve and ended up being such a great and silly experience for me that it will always be a huge moment for me. Still looking for the next chance to take another step!
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Holly

That is such a great story Holly! While it seems that it would be traumatic to be made, most of the time I suspect it is no big deal. Still it takes guts to go out the first time like you did. Thank you for sharing this.
Staci

It just so happens that today was my first experience at going out in public en femme. I had just tried on some new clothes and had minimal makeup on, just a light powder with my brows done and a little mascara and lipstick. I had on skinny jeans and a very tight form fitting gray and black top. I decided I looked so good it was time to step out into the real world for the first time. I decided to walk the dogs. Going out in one's own neighborhood seemed pretty risky especially since a lot of people would recognize my dogs and I was in my male tennis shoes, however it was late morning and already getting warm so most neighbors were at work or inside. I bravely opened the front door and saw that no one was out in their yard, so I quickly stepped out with the dogs and made my way to the street. I decided to take a direction I rarely walked to minimize being made by someone I knew. soon I came across some street maintenance workers who simply smiled and waved as I walked past. I was trying to act confident and it apparently worked as there was no sense of being made. 40yards later a female pulled out of her driveway and waved at me as she drove past. Hmmm, apparently I was passing at least at a distance. There were several more occasions where I passed people on the street and no one seemed to notice as they said things like nice day, or love you dogs, etc. I got back home completely elated with the experience.

Now I would like to try the mall. I feel that somehow this could be riskier but I am thinking that being made isn't the worst thing that could happen. Feeling much freer and empowered than ever before.

Try it girls you will be glad you did!

Staci

Way to go Staci!! That takes a lot to go walking around your neighborhood in broad daylight! You go girl!! ????????????
Holly

There are some brave women on this website

What an awesome experience Staci!!!
Lisa, you'll get there hon, have you found a local crossdresser support group or club? That's a great way to go out for the first time

Thanks Vanessa,

I met a co-worker/girlfriend of mine took her out for coffee and opened up to her she completely understood and offered to help me any way she could. This site was my first attempt at working through my frustration. I figured the best way to learn about being a woman was to actually befriend someone who is open and would understand.I do need to go online and see whats out there though any sites you would recommend?

Hey Lisa,

Hi I hope this helps, first off I have been on a lot of sites that claim to be support sites and I mean a lot. What you have found HERE is by far the best site I have ever found. There are a few other sites that are more geared to girls that are transitioning or have transitioned that have a small CD group. As for just Crossdressing you have found a great home in Crossdresser Heaven.

Let me know what you are looking for help with because we are looking for some form of direction. Example, I have two issues one I have in-laws that would freak out but I want to tell my 3 kids, who can't keep their mouths closed for nothing (If you figure that one out let me know) and more importantly I have been dressing for 31 years and I CAN NOT FIGURE OUT HAIR!!! LOL

Hugs,

Codille

Oh I remember...and I'm sure I was a fright. Little black dress that was way too young and way too short for me. Fishnet stay ups, black heels. A 3/4 wig  with a headband and my bangs brushed over my forehead. Makeup - well, I seem to remember bronzer, blush, lipstick, mascara, eye shadow. Out of the hotel and down the stairs and right into the car. Slowly drove to a nearby casino - I already knew my route in and what slot machine I would sit down in front of.

Probably walked like a man, avoided eye contact. Right down the escalator, right to the machine only a few steps away. Played for maybe 15 minutes, facing the machine. It was off in kind of a corner, not too many people coming by.

Got real nervous, so got up and left. Some people did look, but most didn't seem to notice. One older man openly stared - it was clear he knew what he was looking at, didn't quite know what to do about it. Back through the garage to the car. Thankfully, the side door at the hotel worked - it hadn't earlier in the day. Back to the room.

I was scared silly the whole time, but loved every minute of it, too.

It was certainly not what I was expecting. A few months before my 60th birthday I came out to my wife and a couple of my kids. Having it out in the open I decided it was finally time to go for it. Not having any clue, cloths, make up experience, etc. I decided I needed help. I found a cross dresser makeover service in Seattle and one in Portland. Unfortunately I didn't get very comforting feelings about Seattle, but was met with warm welcome with Portland. So I booked a "Night Out" make over service. She has a boutique there so we tried on cloths, got shoes, showed me some fashion tips for my body size, tips on mannerisms, walking in heels (which turned into wedges, since I was an ankle break waiting to happen).

Unfortunately I chose the hottest day of the summer - was about 98 degrees that day so no one was out and about that night. I was a bit let down, but did go out for dinner with the hostess and her friend. Had a nice quiet dinner went out to a couple of night clubs. Although I was a bit disappointed that there were only a few others out, I did have a wonderful time.

What surprised me the most, is how relaxed I felt, of course having an escort was an essential factor in my comfort, I am certainly ready to take another road trip to Portland and really looking forward to the Espirit Conference next year.

98F... About 36.6C... not nice temperatures.

Hope the humidity wasn't high as well.