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Early next month Trish is going to venture out to a show in another town with my SO. She has been in public previously, but only in very controlled or familiar situations. Here we will be visiting a town I’m fairly familiar with, but will have to dress in a hotel, make our way to the venue and return. The show will be held at an upscale performing arts center and the audience should be LGBTQ friendly. Needless to say, Trish is counting the days.
Variations of this topic have been posted previously, but here we are soliciting “lessons learned” from those who have previously cleared this hurdle. In other words, what would you have done differently to make the occasion more pleasant?
The plan is to dress several times prior to the date of the show. Each time I will catalog the items used so that I take them with me. My SO and I have discussed my outfit selection a couple of times, each time she suggests a longer hem line! Help!
@trish54 the idea should be to blend. If your intention is to stand out so everyone around you sees you, then dress to be noticed. If your intention is to feel like just another woman in the crowd, then keep it toned down and dress like the rest. One can feel and look attractive and sexy without five inch heels and a skin tight LBD.
Hi Trish,
First off I have to tell you that I'm totally jealous of your obviously supportive wife. I agree with the girls who've previously expressed their opinions. Dress to blend in and with your wife being as supportive as she is you don't want to lose that so take her suggestions and run with them. Since the is the first time going to an event like this have a good look at the other girls there and what they're wearing. That will give you a pretty good idea on how you should dress too. But do enjoy the show girl and do let us know how it all went.
Trish 💖🥰
Hi Trish!
First of all, what an amazing opportunity! Anytime an SO accepts and then grants this freedom it is just great! Having the hotel as the starting point is great and better than driving and to and from wherever home is, all dressed up. Of course, the challenge is to make sure the outfit and all the accessories are packed and ready. Dressing away also gets exciting as it is away from familiar dressing routine. Once you head out, I’d recommend an Uber or Lyft to get you both over to the venue. If the show and audience are LGBTQ friendly then nothing to worry about. My recommendation is to stay in or close to the performing arts center. Research how the neighborhood is around the area. Same with the hotel location. If it is safe near the hotel, then you can decide if you can get out for a drink or something outside the event. If it is both of you the whole time, then things like elevator rides, having a drink at the bar or food in the hotel restaurant, walking around the hotel, etc… no one will bother you generally. For the ride, I believe in the Uber or Lyft apps you can research drivers, for ratings and if any have a rainbow flag or something else similar, choose that person. The performing arts type venue, you have actors and people with an open mind so I wouldn’t expect any issues.
As far as the outfit, I’d go with the SO recommendation. I’d be the same way, short/skimpy LBD, heels and made up. However, blending in is better and they usually know from experience to lower any vulnerability or standing out too much.
A personal specific example of a similar situation is one of my outings. San Diego is amazing for liberal, open minded, tolerant and LGBTQ friendly. I stayed at the Hyatt near downtown and right next door is Seaport Village. It is full of shops and restaurants. It was so amazing to get dressed up, get through the hotel and just walk around the water front with the shops and restaurants available for whatever one wants to do. When I went it was the usual CA coastal chill, so I had a longer warmer dress on (red and black pattern), long sleeve, and about knee length with a ladies red leather jacket. Black heels on of course, I think they were my 4” ones by BCBG, and made up with my wig on. Also used Uber to get to a venue for a play as well. The venue was secure and care free.
Hope this helps. Happy dressing and going out!!!!
XOXO
Karensa
Wear whatever your SO is comfortable with as this a big deal for her as well. Good idea to have 'run throughs' so you both get used to the outfits. Once all is decided just act naturally and enjoy the show.
Hi Trish,Sounds like your SO is right,go with her suggestions.Once you arrive at your destination,be the lady that you are and smile,stand tall ,and have a great time.You are very lucky to have an SO who understands your side of your life.When you arrive home please give her a dozen roses and a gift card from the store of her choice.
I agree with Angela. Whatever you wear make sure your wife is comfy with it so she has a nice night too.
It is all about your attitude. Just be confident and relaxed and the evening will go well. Don't overthink it. While some prep work is fine, don't stress over it. Just choose a nice conservative dress with a hemline below the knees and you will be fine.
I just saw Hamilton in London and wore a gray tartan skirt and white blouse. The theater was sold out and I had a wonderful evening and nobody wanted it in the least.
...and give us an update when you are done. I hope the return to your hotel room is the best part of the night😘
Having an SO is always about compromise. If it was me I would go with her suggestions. She has had a lifetime of womenswear and you don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable, if she suggests a longer hem wear a longer hem. You need her happy with you by her side.
Get to the hotel as early as you can and just have the best time getting ready. If it’s your first time a list is good.
When stepping out that hotel room, chin up, chest out, smile, relax, and be friendly and open. You will have the best time.
So jealous.
B x
Dress according to what you are going to see. A leather miniskirt, tight top, fishnet tights and heels might not go well at the opera. A long gown wont go well at an AC/DC gig. By all means wear an above the knee skirt (99% of mine are above the knee), but make it a nice one. Don't forget jewellery. Earrings and a necklace make a huge difference. They finish the outfit off. I never go anywhere without earrings and a necklace. Also a female watch. Choosing the outfit for an event is the best part. I often plan way ahead for a special night. This gives me time to fine tune. I have an image in my head, and I strive to match it. It's fantsastic when you find that piece of the puzzle that has been alluding you. When it all comes together, from head to toe, it's an amazing feeling. Hair and make up also play their part. I always have lipstick, a small can of hairspray and a brush in my bag.... I have a decent selection of handbags (I think Americans call them purses). The right bag is essential too. Dress to blend in. Become the same as the others. Confidence is key. Stand tall. Hold your head high. I have a "fk it" attitude these days. I am what I am. I'll not hide. I'll it sulk in the shadows. Get out there and be the best YOU you can be! Have a great trip, and a great night..... We'll want photos 🙂
Cerys.
@dazzler "We'll want photos." Yes we will📸. Hoping for a most memorable time for you two!
Thank you, a number of good suggestions I hadn’t considered.
Better advice than safety pins, tape, etc.,. Thank you so much for calibrating me, I was becoming a little too self-indulgent and your comment will serve as a reminder to guard against that in the future. Thanks again.
Hi Trish,
To paraphrase Red Green, you will be twice as happy wearing a skirt with a hemline the way your wife wants it to be than you will be wearing one the way you want it to be.
Red Green's actual quote is, "Remember, you will be twice as happy doing something that your wife likes and you don't, than you will be doing something that you like and your wife doesn't."
Other than that, I can't add anything that the other girls haven't apart from to say be confident, but not overly so. Enjoy the evening and be natural and you will enjoy it.
'The Red Green Show' was a popular Canadian comedy programme in which many a true word were spoken in jest.
Aurora Lynnette
Stand tall, back straight, tits up. Act like you belong there, because you do. Lots of good dressing advice here, so I'll skip that except to say "be you". If you're comfortable and confident, that's what people will notice. Bring your sense of adventure and have fun!
Let your SO take the lead in getting ready - choosing the outfit and makeup for example. When she is satisfied with your presentation, you can be confident in it as well. From that point, just take the plunge and you’ll fine that the fun and excitement of being out will overwhelm the initial stage fright.
Have confidence and smile more than your male self.
If you want to avoid any of the hotel crowd, learn where you can park your car close to a side exit door.
I am sure you will both enjoy the event.
Having just had a full makeover at Sephora, that is something I would highly recommend. Makeup, IMHO, is by far the hardest thing to get right. Set an appointment a couple of hours before your event. It takes about an hour, but your makeup artist has the skills and knowledge to give you the right look. With luck some phone calls and booking well in advance, you may be able to find an artist who is familiar with MTF makeup, though it is not essential as a good artist is a good artist regardless of the type of canvas.
Hair is a consideration as well, but if you are wearing a wig, it is likely pre-styled, but you can have it touched up ahead of time if you desire. Mails are another big factor, though less critical. If you want to pull out all the stops go to a salon and have them done, but you can also do press on nails, or no doubt you or your wife can apply color.
The advice about hydration and bathroom use is important. The line for the ladies' room between acts will likely be massive and slow-moving, so try to avoid the need. There are often a few gender neutral/family bathrooms, but again lines are usually long and nearly always women, so it does not solve anything.
Personally, I like a glass or two of wine at such events as they relax me and reduce my inhibitions. I just care less what others think. Just beware of the bathroom issue.
