Seeking Pearls of Wisdom From Those Who Have Preceded Me
Early next month Trish is going to venture out to a show in another town with my SO. She has been in public previously, but only in very controlled or familiar situations. Here we will be visiting a town I’m fairly familiar with, but will have to dress in a hotel, make our way to the venue and return. The show will be held at an upscale performing arts center and the audience should be LGBTQ friendly. Needless to say, Trish is counting the days.
Variations of this topic have been posted previously, but here we are soliciting “lessons learned” from those who have previously cleared this hurdle. In other words, what would you have done differently to make the occasion more pleasant?
The plan is to dress several times prior to the date of the show. Each time I will catalog the items used so that I take them with me. My SO and I have discussed my outfit selection a couple of times, each time she suggests a longer hem line! Help!
First of all, what an amazing opportunity! Anytime an SO accepts and then grants this freedom it is just great! Having the hotel as the starting point is great and better than driving and to and from wherever home is, all dressed up. Of course, the challenge is to make sure the outfit and all the accessories are packed and ready. Dressing away also gets exciting as it is away from familiar dressing routine. Once you head out, I’d recommend an Uber or Lyft to get you both over to the venue. If the show and audience are LGBTQ friendly then nothing to worry about. My recommendation is to stay in or close to the performing arts center. Research how the neighborhood is around the area. Same with the hotel location. If it is safe near the hotel, then you can decide if you can get out for a drink or something outside the event. If it is both of you the whole time, then things like elevator rides, having a drink at the bar or food in the hotel restaurant, walking around the hotel, etc… no one will bother you generally. For the ride, I believe in the Uber or Lyft apps you can research drivers, for ratings and if any have a rainbow flag or something else similar, choose that person. The performing arts type venue, you have actors and people with an open mind so I wouldn’t expect any issues.
As far as the outfit, I’d go with the SO recommendation. I’d be the same way, short/skimpy LBD, heels and made up. However, blending in is better and they usually know from experience to lower any vulnerability or standing out too much.
A personal specific example of a similar situation is one of my outings. San Diego is amazing for liberal, open minded, tolerant and LGBTQ friendly. I stayed at the Hyatt near downtown and right next door is Seaport Village. It is full of shops and restaurants. It was so amazing to get dressed up, get through the hotel and just walk around the water front with the shops and restaurants available for whatever one wants to do. When I went it was the usual CA coastal chill, so I had a longer warmer dress on (red and black pattern), long sleeve, and about knee length with a ladies red leather jacket. Black heels on of course, I think they were my 4” ones by BCBG, and made up with my wig on. Also used Uber to get to a venue for a play as well. The venue was secure and care free.
Hope this helps. Happy dressing and going out!!!!
Wear whatever your SO is comfortable with as this a big deal for her as well. Good idea to have 'run throughs' so you both get used to the outfits. Once all is decided just act naturally and enjoy the show.
Hi Trish,Sounds like your SO is right,go with her suggestions.Once you arrive at your destination,be the lady that you are and smile,stand tall ,and have a great time.You are very lucky to have an SO who understands your side of your life.When you arrive home please give her a dozen roses and a gift card from the store of her choice.
I agree with Angela. Whatever you wear make sure your wife is comfy with it so she has a nice night too.
It is all about your attitude. Just be confident and relaxed and the evening will go well. Don't overthink it. While some prep work is fine, don't stress over it. Just choose a nice conservative dress with a hemline below the knees and you will be fine.
I just saw Hamilton in London and wore a gray tartan skirt and white blouse. The theater was sold out and I had a wonderful evening and nobody wanted it in the least.
...and give us an update when you are done. I hope the return to your hotel room is the best part of the night😘
Having an SO is always about compromise. If it was me I would go with her suggestions. She has had a lifetime of womenswear and you don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable, if she suggests a longer hem wear a longer hem. You need her happy with you by her side.
Get to the hotel as early as you can and just have the best time getting ready. If it’s your first time a list is good.
When stepping out that hotel room, chin up, chest out, smile, relax, and be friendly and open. You will have the best time.
Dress according to what you are going to see. A leather miniskirt, tight top, fishnet tights and heels might not go well at the opera. A long gown wont go well at an AC/DC gig. By all means wear an above the knee skirt (99% of mine are above the knee), but make it a nice one. Don't forget jewellery. Earrings and a necklace make a huge difference. They finish the outfit off. I never go anywhere without earrings and a necklace. Also a female watch. Choosing the outfit for an event is the best part. I often plan way ahead for a special night. This gives me time to fine tune. I have an image in my head, and I strive to match it. It's fantsastic when you find that piece of the puzzle that has been alluding you. When it all comes together, from head to toe, it's an amazing feeling. Hair and make up also play their part. I always have lipstick, a small can of hairspray and a brush in my bag.... I have a decent selection of handbags (I think Americans call them purses). The right bag is essential too. Dress to blend in. Become the same as the others. Confidence is key. Stand tall. Hold your head high. I have a "fk it" attitude these days. I am what I am. I'll not hide. I'll it sulk in the shadows. Get out there and be the best YOU you can be! Have a great trip, and a great night..... We'll want photos 🙂
Thank you, a number of good suggestions I hadn’t considered.
Better advice than safety pins, tape, etc.,. Thank you so much for calibrating me, I was becoming a little too self-indulgent and your comment will serve as a reminder to guard against that in the future. Thanks again.
Listen to her, she has more experience out and about than you do. Women are masters at dressing for the occasion on a level guy's would never think of. They know what both men and women think about how a woman presents in public and how to influence it. A knee length skirt is totally acceptable while still showing off nice legs. The higher you go from there says I want you to check me out and stimulates peoples imagination about you.
As someone very experienced in public outings at mainstream establishments I will offer tis advice.
1.Dress like a lady lawyer going to court and you will have hair, makeup, shoes and hemlines perfect.
2. Avoid using the ladies room, I hydrate early in the day and little or nothing after lunch. Pee every chance you get regardless of urge so you are pretty much empty when you head out. All it takes is one woman who objects to your using the ladies room to cause a problem so its best to avoid it.
3. Use UBER or Lyft door to door from your hotel to restaurant, to the venue, back to your hotel. Its the safest way to avoid bad parts of town you don't know about.
Its best to take a conservative approach when going to a new place and don't know what you will run into.
Stay safe and have fun.
To paraphrase Red Green, you will be twice as happy wearing a skirt with a hemline the way your wife wants it to be than you will be wearing one the way you want it to be.
Red Green's actual quote is, "Remember, you will be twice as happy doing something that your wife likes and you don't, than you will be doing something that you like and your wife doesn't."
Other than that, I can't add anything that the other girls haven't apart from to say be confident, but not overly so. Enjoy the evening and be natural and you will enjoy it.
'The Red Green Show' was a popular Canadian comedy programme in which many a true word were spoken in jest.
Stand tall, back straight, tits up. Act like you belong there, because you do. Lots of good dressing advice here, so I'll skip that except to say "be you". If you're comfortable and confident, that's what people will notice. Bring your sense of adventure and have fun!
Let your SO take the lead in getting ready - choosing the outfit and makeup for example. When she is satisfied with your presentation, you can be confident in it as well. From that point, just take the plunge and you’ll fine that the fun and excitement of being out will overwhelm the initial stage fright.
Have confidence and smile more than your male self.
If you want to avoid any of the hotel crowd, learn where you can park your car close to a side exit door.
I am sure you will both enjoy the event.