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I'm finding out a lot about myself right now

5 Posts
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Posts: 17
Lady
Topic starter
(@dreamwalker)
Eminent Member     Minnesota, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

Counseling can be difficult. A lot of difficult questions are being asked, and I don't know how to answer them. I'm 41. I have a beautiful wife and daughter. I have a family business. I'm active in the community. I'd be a fool to turn this life upside-down right now. Or would I? Those of you that transitioned early in your adult life: do you wish you would've held out to experience certain things or think things out more? Those that are deliberating transitioning or transitioned later in life: were you prepared? Was it worth everything that you lost? Should you have done it sooner or later?

I find great joy in being a father and husband, but I hate being a man. It's been a long hard month plus of therapy sessions and conversations with my wife. I don't want to hurt my wife anymore than I already have, but I now realize that hurting my parents, grandparents, and siblings would've hurt far less if I had transitioned 20 years ago.

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4 Replies
Posts: 1781
Lady
(@ohlivialivin)
Noble Member     Norfolk, Ontario, Canada
Joined: 6 years ago

Hi Tammy

I started my CD life later than most (you can read my profile) and like you learned alot myself, the person I had been, and the person I was becoming in a rather short span of time. Although there are some things that would probably have seemed somewhat easier in my younger years, I'm actually thankful to have missed it. At a later stage in life we can rely on a deeper level of life experience and wisdom? lol to base our decisions towards direction, relationship, etc. on.

I hope that with more self reflection, the love of your family, and help from your counsellor, you can figure things out to a point that works for those around you while allowing you to be true to your feelings.

Olivia

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Posts: 18
Lady
(@lucytaylor)
Eminent Member     Merseyside, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 years ago

Hi Tammy

I hope you can work things out about yourself, I know this my seem selfish but you have to do what you want, as for answering questions just answer honestly and the ones you can not answer do a little research, this my aid you to discover more about yourself, but with the right knowledge you can make more informed decision about what you want or need to do. Even within the TG community were all different and travelled different paths.

Hope this helps,

Hugs and good luck

Lucy Liz

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Posts: 2
Lady
(@dena)
New Member     Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Joined: 5 years ago

Olivia... Name is Dena. i can relate to your situstion.I was in a small boat waves all around and only my little boat yo hold  me up. You got alot going 4 u..maybe the answer is right ther for you.Seems your family loves u and that the most important thing right now best of luck ......    Dena

 

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Posts: 1700
Hostess
(@pattygurlcd)
Noble Member     Louisville, Kentucky, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

Hi Tammy,

The question before you only you can answer.

I myself have a wonderful loving wife who although she is only tolerant of my crossdressing is open minded and still loves me very much.

Many people go through there entire life without finding someone to love them.

so before you make any serious decisions you need to determine if you want to transition more than have a loving wife and marriage.

Its tough.

I discovered I am happy crossdressing when I can and being a man the rest of the time.

I still like being a man too.

as you said if I had discovered myself at an earlier time I would be a woman all the time I believe.

Patty

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