Two weeks ago my life changed, and I will never be the same.

The Woman Inside, Lauren's Journey

Two weeks ago my life changed, and I will never be the same.

As many of you may know, these blog entries are part of a book I am writing about my journey. I, like many trans people with similar stories, always knew from early childhood that I was “different”. I always felt, and knew, that I was supposed to be a girl. Two years ago, while recovering from open heart surgery, I faced and accepted the reality that I was transgender, and it was time to set the woman inside free to be herself.

I spent literally months learning everything I could about being transgender. I realized the time had come for me to transition to living my life authentically, as the woman I always felt I truly was, a trans woman. So I transitioned 16 months ago and have been living and working as a woman, fully accepted, affirmed, and cared for by the people I work with and others who are a part of my new life.

Two weeks ago, that all changed. I had developed a medical issue that required a trip to the emergency room of the local hospital. After tests were done and spending time in the waiting room I was introduced to a lady doctor who spent the next hour talking with me. The details are in my previous post. What she told me is why my life will never be the same. I am more than transgender, I am intersex, I truly am, a woman.

I have been on an emotional roller coaster since hearing her say to me, “Lauren, you are a woman!” I’ve been spending many hours trying to learn everything I can about being an intersex person. There’s a lot to learn, there are over 40 variations in the intersex spectrum and each and every intersex person is unique. I’ve spent hours thinking about my past life, questioning what it would have been like if I had known this years ago. The emotions have been overwhelming at times, and many tears have been shed. I will be referred to an Endocrinologist and will know more information after that.

The emotional roller coaster has taken me from feeling so happy and thrilled that I get giddy, to feeling regret when I spend time looking into the past years of my life.

The Journey continues.