My need to dress and become physically and emotionally more feminine has been getting stronger lately.
I am convinced that my testosterone levels have dropped, ie moods are different, less stress/anger, etc. There are also physical changes in my genitals. I can completely tuck it away with total ease and comfort. Also the emotional feeling I have when it is literally inverted is sheer bliss and contentment, I feel this is how it SHOULD be!
I guess this is probably gender dysmorphia or dysphoria?
I recently started coming out to select members of my family, about the dressing and the fact it’s been with me all my life, but I can not honestly say if I am ever going to fully transition as I just don’t know yet! But I can’t rule it out as a possible destination on my journey.
So far my family have been really accepting and cool with my disclosure, and I had an amazing talk with my older sister that really made me think, what she told me about our mum and what she went through to have kids just might have influenced our fetal development.
My sister was born in 1950, but mum had been trying for years without success until she was given fertility treatment, which predates IVF, and I believe was still in its early days with no clear understanding of potential long term effects on the embryo.
The treatment consisted of multiple injections of hormones direct into the ovaries, this worked and my sister was born. The treatment was so arduous that she waited 7 years before trying again and then had my brother, he was to be the last, or at least that was the plan! Then 3 years later I came along unexpectedly!
No treatment required for me but I can’t help wondering what the previous treatments did to the eggs in the ovaries!
My sister also believes this as she is affected by too high a testosterone level and is more hirsute than most women!
So I have to ask, do we know if there is a link to fertility treatment in the 40’s and 50’s and incidences of transgender or other gender spectrum issues?
I have noticed that so many on the ‘trans’ spectrum are the same generation as me, so maybe there are also similar backgrounds?
After years of suppressing my feminine side I am coming to like the woman I want/need to be, and even though I still need to compromise and stay part time for the sake of one of my family I am never going to bury Georgie again!