My need to dress and become physically and emotionally more feminine has been getting stronger lately.
I am convinced that my testosterone levels have dropped, ie moods are different, less stress/anger, etc. There are also physical changes in my genitals. I can completely tuck it away with total ease and comfort. Also the emotional feeling I have when it is literally inverted is sheer bliss and contentment, I feel this is how it SHOULD be!
I guess this is probably gender dysmorphia or dysphoria?
I recently started coming out to select members of my family, about the dressing and the fact it’s been with me all my life, but I can not honestly say if I am ever going to fully transition as I just don’t know yet! But I can’t rule it out as a possible destination on my journey.
So far my family have been really accepting and cool with my disclosure, and I had an amazing talk with my older sister that really made me think, what she told me about our mum and what she went through to have kids just might have influenced our fetal development.
My sister was born in 1950, but mum had been trying for years without success until she was given fertility treatment, which predates IVF, and I believe was still in its early days with no clear understanding of potential long term effects on the embryo.
The treatment consisted of multiple injections of hormones direct into the ovaries, this worked and my sister was born. The treatment was so arduous that she waited 7 years before trying again and then had my brother, he was to be the last, or at least that was the plan! Then 3 years later I came along unexpectedly!
No treatment required for me but I can’t help wondering what the previous treatments did to the eggs in the ovaries!
My sister also believes this as she is affected by too high a testosterone level and is more hirsute than most women!

So I have to ask, do we know if there is a link to fertility treatment in the 40’s and 50’s and incidences of transgender or other gender spectrum issues?
I have noticed that so many on the ‘trans’ spectrum are the same generation as me, so maybe there are also similar backgrounds?

After years of suppressing my feminine side I am coming to like the woman I want/need to be, and even though I still need to compromise and stay part time for the sake of one of my family I am never going to bury Georgie again!

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10 Comments
  1. Darcy Bainsley 3 years ago

    Ah the life in the 50’s/60’s. “Better living through modern chemistry”. I like your theory and certainly makes sense. However I think it goes even farther than that. If you look at children today, you’ll see an increase of gender issues, ADHD, food allergies; the list goes on and on. While I realize these things have been around since the beginning of time and the media has given us an increased awareness, I also believe the increase is due to our poisoned eco system as well as our food chain has been poisoned since the industrial age. I think “mutations” caused by this poisoning is being passed through the generations and we are now seeing the affects.

  2. Look up DES-which was a treatment given to women a synthetic estrogen that was developed to supplement a woman’s natural estrogen production. First prescribed by physicians in 1938 for women who experienced miscarriages or premature deliveries, DES was originally considered effective and safe for both the pregnant woman and the developing baby.In the United States, an estimated 5-10 million persons were exposed to DES during 1938-1971, including women who were prescribed DES while pregnant and the female and male children born of these pregnancies. Researchers are still following the health of persons exposed to DES to determine whether other health problems occur as they grow older. For more info look at http://www.cdc.gov/des/consumers/about/index.html

    Cyn

    • Author

      Hi Cyn, I’m not sure what treatment she did have but I don’t think it was any medication taken during pregnancy, it was direct injections into the ovaries to stimulate ovulation.
      I will see if I can find out more about fertility treatments in the UK in the 40’s and 50’s

      Georgie,

  3. Dot (Donna B) 3 years ago

    Interesting theory. There are studies also tracking genetically modified foods and the correlation with ADHD and I thought pressure and many other diseases which have risen in the last five decades another. I think a lot of people have exposed the general population does this without enough study.

  4. Author

    To be honest the ‘why’ is not important to me now, but from my sisters perspective it helps her to understand it and accept me for who I am.
    I’m sure there are many reasons why we develop they way we do. I think many are just born this way and find the right path early in life (much easier to do these days!), many like me go through years of suppression, conditioning by society’s expectations of your physical gender role, and only really come to terms of who they are much later in life!
    Let’s face it, I think even now we are just scratching the surface of understanding the human psyche and how this is influenced by chemicals, environment and upbringing, i.e. the old nature or nurture debate.

    I am happy with who I am and who I am becoming, how I got here is less important than where I am going to!
    I am glad I opened up to my sister, and the family secrets that I learned are interesting for the sake of curiosity but it doesn’t change anything. The Important thing now is that I accept who I am!

  5. Missy 3 years ago

    I’ve wondered the same for years. This is my story except that I have two older sisters(1950 & 57) . Was teased about my hairless legs compaired to there’s ! The more I out myself and have had good results, has compelled me to keep outing myself more to the point where the boy side mite end up locked away like the girl was for. 50 years! The more she is out the harder it gets to lock her back up!

    • Author

      Missy, it’s odd that you mention hairless legs, the bottom half of my legs tend to be fairly smooth and only require minimal epilation, but the top half is hairy and needs regular deforestation! Lol
      I am also finding that the more successful steps I take on my journey, the easier it gets!
      Maybe your boy side won’t get ‘locked away’ rather he will take a well earned rest and allow your girl side to drive for a while!

      • Antonia D 2 years ago

        My body has always been virtually hairless. I get armpit hair and pubic hair and that’s about it. I only have to shave my face every 3-4 days too. I have always had small breasts similar to a teenage girl also which I use to try and hide when I was younger. This is not because I am over weight, as I’m 6ft tall and weigh 12stone. My nipples have always been very sensitive too. My brother and my father use to make fun of me when I was younger, and say I should of been a girl. I have always believed that I have a much higher level of female hormones than most males. As I have got older it has all started to make perfect sense. I never understood my cross dressing when I was younger. All I knew was that it felt amazing, but didn’t know why. Happy in my skin these days and celebrate who I am 🙂

  6. Sometimes_Brandy 3 years ago

    The food chain has definitely been compromised with hormones. A good example is beef in the US. Japan has banned the importation of beef from the United States because of a correlation of early onset puberty in girls and the consumption of US beef. But we just keep feeding hormone drenched food to our children and then we wonder why little Timmy looks like a linebacker for the Steelers at only 12 years of age.
    We also pump our livestock full of antibiotics. Just today it was stated on the news that the first case of bacteria resistant to all currently known antibiotics has infected a woman in Pennsylvania.
    Better living through chemistry, my ass!

  7. Terri 1 year ago

    So many of us ask Why ? For years I did the same. Then I realized after many years that it wouldn’t change anything if I knew. I then began to accept that part of me in my life. Life for me is about Balance. My family comes first, then Terri.

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