Crossdressers don't apologize for who you are

“I can understand why they would think I’m a freak. After all, I look like a man in a dress.”
Does this sound familiar? Or perhaps you’ve said it to yourself in a different variation that involves condoning snide remarks, not letting you in to a bar or even calling the cops. After all, you’re a man in a dress and society has a right to be outraged, don’t they?

The answer is no. No human being should ever have to apologize for who they are. No one should be forced to hide the light of their soul to satisfy the norms of society.

Susan does a great job addressing what is essentially ‘blaming the victim’ in a podcast from two weeks ago. She argues strongly that in order to make any progress with civil rights for the transgendered we cannot continue to blame the victim – in this case the transgendered – for being who they are. It’s not acceptable to condone violence and hate because someone is different, any more than it is acceptable to rape a woman just because she is wearing a short skirt in a bad neighborhood.

Now, I’m not advocating that you throw caution to the wind, don your 5″ heels and strut self-righteously to the nearest tavern. You’re likely to leave with a bruised ego, or possibly worse. The object isn’t to try and make a fool of yourself. Next time you put in the effort to look like a natural woman, I am asking you to silence the voice inside your head that tells you ‘I deserve to be stared at’, ‘I deserve to be treated as a freak’.

What you deserve is to be treated with dignity and respect, just as you would treat anyone else – regardless of their race, religion, sexual preference or gender identity. You see, the first step to equality starts inside our own mind. Only once we believe we are worthy are we able to stand up sincerely to defend our worth.

Ladies, I would love to hear about your story of how you stood up for your self worth, even if it was just in your thoughts, refusing to let your identity be determined by someone else. Comment and let me know.




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I’m passionate about creating a safe space for everyone in the transgender community to find laughter and friendship on their journey. I completed my physical transition in 2011 and through it I lost everything, and gained everything. I am blessed that I was forced to gaze inward and embark on the journey to discover and live my authentic self. My deepest wish is that all who wander here may find peace, happiness and freedom.

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Lynn Jones
Lynn Jones
16 years ago

I think that confidence is the key. If you feel ‘sorted’ then it radiates out of you and people leave you get just get on with your life. If you skulk at the corners then people will single you out. You’ve just as much right* to walk down the street as the next person. (* well, provided you’re not breaking any laws… like doing it naked 😀 ). As to resturants or shops, your money is as good as anyone else’s, so why shouldn’t you be given the level of service everyone else is? I’ve often had good service when… Read more »

Leah Gray aka creativeblogger
Leah Gray aka creativeblogger
16 years ago

I need to understand breast form philosophy!

As a female, when we want to bulk up (if flat chested) we buy what we call here in the UK ‘chicken fillets’ they are silicone pieces that go inside a bra and some hang there by themselves and they cost less than $40 (£20) some slightly more, for two, so why do mens ‘chicken fillets’ cost $300???

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