crossdressing without transitioning

Dear Readers,

I’m excited to introduce you to one of our lovely Ambassadors, Codille Benton. If you’ve been on the Crossdresesr Heaven forums recently you’ve no doubt seen her around and chatted with her. She touches on something I’ve heard many ask before, can you be happy crossdressing without transitioning, or is full transition inevitable?

She chose the image of a phoenix rising to represent her rebirth – a very fitting and beautiful representation of discovering your woman inside.

Codille is a shining star of Crossdresser Heaven, and this is her story.

Nature Day 3

Codille – Happy as a Crossdresser Without Transitioning

Hello World, I want to introduce myself so you know who I am, an insight into Codille. I am a MTF Crossdresser and I have gone through some major personality mental calibrations over the last year and instead of feeling conflicted between my male persona and Codille, they have really finally after thirty years merged/unified and become just ME. My name here is Codille and as some of you have read my profile or know me through chatting, I have been married to a wonderful, amazing, understanding and supportive woman for almost 21 years. I know I am blessed here as this is not the case for many crossdressers.

My wife has known both sides of me since right before I proposed 23 years ago. I have three great and precocious kids, all of whom are teens. My kids don’t know about Codille yet; as we, my wife and I, are working on dealing with how to tell and handle the extended family and friends’ dynamic of that before we tell the kids. The two youngest are going to have little to no issue, the eldest is a question mark.

What is wonderful as you probably understand, I a little over a year ago became whole when ME and Codille just became ME. I love my female persona of Codille but use it now more of a screen, protection for my family, and to put others at ease. Codille has been part of me for almost 32 years now so ME and Codille are now two sides of the same coin and interchangeable in my head depending on how I feel moment to moment. Unlike where some are before making the decision transition, I am truly a MTF crossdresser and heterosexual with no desire or feeling of the need to transition fully to a woman.

Also it being, no matter your sexual orientation you are, if you still feel like you are male, it is ok to crossdress and express who you are and it society that is going to need to catch up like it is slowly with the transgender community?

Nature Day 3

Friends and Crossdressing

I am fortunate to have a tight circle of friends including my wife that know I CD, all 5 are all women. I haven’t had the courage at the age of 45 to tell the guys yet, as I said I am working on that. One of my confidants is in the process of transitioning and talking with her, I can understand what she is feeling and comprehend but not empathize. Another in my circle is Bi-sexual and has gone from straight to lesbian to BI, needless to say she has gone through her own journey. So I have a wide spectrum of sexuality in my group of friends.

One of the reasons I think I can relate to such a variety of individuals is in that I have such a great blend of both the male and female psych, that I can grasp where they are coming from. My wife though not CD, or have any interest, has these traits as well, the blend of female and male psych. I believe this is why we are such kindred spirits, sort of like yin and yang. So I hope that was not TMI but gives you a little insight into one of your Ambassadors on Crossdresser Heaven and why I can do what I do, listen, be supportive and be a friend. That and 25 years in personnel management skills doesn’t hurt any, LOL.

I want you to know ladies that you have someone on your side that really feels both sides and is not conflicted, and that it is possible to have balance between your male and female side and you can feel complete and at peace with ALL of you. I look forward to chatting with you on the site. Feel free to message me and say “Hi”!!

Hugs,
Codille Benton

P.S. If you would like to be featured on Crossdresser Heaven, please submit your crossdressing success story. If you’ve already shared on the forums it’s okay to repurpose what you wrote. I’d also love to hear from ladies who are crossdressing without transitioning, and happy in both genders.

EnFemme

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Stefanie
Member
Stefanie
7 years ago

That’s it! That’s what some of us are US
heterosexual males that like the clothes the style the sexy ness
We re just us
And we re ok

Margie
Margie
7 years ago

That was so well written and says much about the person you are Codille. We share things like long term family, wife who knows and accepts and understanding our own person. I’ve thought and thought but I’m not sure transitioning, at my age, early 70’s, would be the right thing. I prefer femme but … oh well! I’m still content.

Elissa
Elissa
7 years ago

Codille, I just want to thank you for sharing your story. It is very insightful to me and I know it will help and encourage other to be who they are on the inside! I too still have issues with how and who to tell when it comes to friends and family. I for one am afraid of loosing long term relationships due to this. I am beginning to believe that if people haven’t been able to figure out I am different then maybe they never really paid attention to who I am. Then again maybe they did but choose… Read more »

Steph' class='avatar avatar-64 photo' height='64' width='64' />
Steph
7 years ago

A great and very helpful story Codille. Thank you.
Steph

Manager Codille
Managing Ambassador
Member
7 years ago
Reply to  Steph

Thank You Steph, that means a lot!

Codille

Wendy
Lady
Member
7 years ago

You’re a star Codille… I too have a very special wife and 2 kids. My youngest was recently told by my wife that Daddy loves to dress as a woman and wear make up. My daughter’s reaction was amazing…"Well, Daddy is still Daddy and I can now help him do his make up, plus he is old and he should do what makes him happy, as you can’t make yourself happy when you’re dead"!! I was blown away, she’s 8 and a half…Our oldest is nearly 19 and she’s known for some time, even though I’ve never dressed up in… Read more »

Wendy
Lady
Member
7 years ago
Reply to  Codille Benton

Thanks sweetie..

Melinda
Melinda
6 years ago
Reply to  Wendy

I start crossdressing when i was 20 years old and stop but now im doing it again i fill happier when im dress as a female i guess it is to open up but i finally told my cousin and she accepts me wish im happy but new on this website and im glad i enjoy the website so happy thank you everyone

Michelle
Michelle
7 years ago

My wife has known about my crossdressing since before we married. She does not encourage me or participate in any way. I keep my body and legs smooth shaven; and would love for my wife to encourage; even better; order me to wear sheer nylons on a regular basis for her inspection, seeing as I keep my legs so feminine. Thus; I would enjoy a dominant side to her nature. She could even tease me about my crossdressing; calling me her feminine " bitch husband". Also; I’ve always had fantasies and thoughts of my wife having an intimate relationship with… Read more »

Regina Shaw
Regina Shaw
7 years ago

I have been dressing in womens clothes since I can’t even remember. I was about 9 years old when I first wore my moms slip and have been wearing womens clothes in hiding ever since. I am now 55 years old and just can’t do it any more. I am just not happy and have made my first ever order of womens clothing for myself. My wife has let me dress up in her lingerie before to role play with each other and even sent me off with some when I went out of town to work so I could… Read more »

Carla Jones
Carla Jones
6 years ago

What a wonderful story. Thank you for telling it. I was always happy crossdressing but things have changed a little. My doctor has me on a medication that reduces my testosterone to shrink a part that is causing some issues. One of the side effects is possible breast growth and that side effect is working on me. I love the effect so much that I do not need forms anymore. So my story is changing with me.

Brandi
Brandi
6 years ago

Wonderful story – I’m just starting out and have bought some wonderful clothes which look great with some very high red heels but I’m struggling with makeup – any advice

Johnnie
Duchess
Member
6 years ago
Reply to  Brandi

Practice . practice.. patience patience. There are lots of YouTube videos tutorials that are extremely helpful. And remember when doing makeup applying less is better. A lot of new transgirls start off applying way to much and up looking like they are wearing a mask. If you are striving to be passable and go out in the public, feminizing your voice is essential. You can perfectly apply makeup, the perfect wig or natural hair, the perfect body shape, but when you open your mouth to speak and your masculine voice comes out, no matter how passable you are, you will… Read more »

Manager Codille
Managing Ambassador
Member
6 years ago
Reply to  Johnnie

Great Advice Lisbeth!!!!

Kara Kelly
Lady
6 years ago
Reply to  Johnnie

I agree with Codille.

Shannyn Ford
Shannyn Ford
6 years ago

Very uplifting story Codille. I just joined at 42, and am much on my own jury. My wife doesn’t get it, however. I hope to learn from this site to bring Shannyn to the fore and fully enjoy ALL of me!

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