crossdressing without transitioning

Dear Readers,

I’m excited to introduce you to one of our lovely Ambassadors, Codille Benton. If you’ve been on the Crossdresesr Heaven forums recently you’ve no doubt seen her around and chatted with her. She touches on something I’ve heard many ask before, can you be happy crossdressing without transitioning, or is full transition inevitable?

She chose the image of a phoenix rising to represent her rebirth – a very fitting and beautiful representation of discovering your woman inside.

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Codille is a shining star of Crossdresser Heaven, and this is her story.

Codille – Happy as a Crossdresser Without Transitioning

Hello World, I want to introduce myself so you know who I am, an insight into Codille. I am a MTF Crossdresser and I have gone through some major personality mental calibrations over the last year and instead of feeling conflicted between my male persona and Codille, they have really finally after thirty years merged/unified and become just ME. My name here is Codille and as some of you have read my profile or know me through chatting, I have been married to a wonderful, amazing, understanding and supportive woman for almost 21 years. I know I am blessed here as this is not the case for many crossdressers.

My wife has known both sides of me since right before I proposed 23 years ago. I have three great and precocious kids, all of whom are teens. My kids don’t know about Codille yet; as we, my wife and I, are working on dealing with how to tell and handle the extended family and friends’ dynamic of that before we tell the kids. The two youngest are going to have little to no issue, the eldest is a question mark.

What is wonderful as you probably understand, I a little over a year ago became whole when ME and Codille just became ME. I love my female persona of Codille but use it now more of a screen, protection for my family, and to put others at ease. Codille has been part of me for almost 32 years now so ME and Codille are now two sides of the same coin and interchangeable in my head depending on how I feel moment to moment. Unlike where some are before making the decision transition, I am truly a MTF crossdresser and heterosexual with no desire or feeling of the need to transition fully to a woman.

Also it being, no matter your sexual orientation you are, if you still feel like you are male, it is ok to crossdress and express who you are and it society that is going to need to catch up like it is slowly with the transgender community?

Friends and Crossdressing

I am fortunate to have a tight circle of friends including my wife that know I CD, all 5 are all women. I haven’t had the courage at the age of 45 to tell the guys yet, as I said I am working on that. One of my confidants is in the process of transitioning and talking with her, I can understand what she is feeling and comprehend but not empathize. Another in my circle is Bi-sexual and has gone from straight to lesbian to BI, needless to say she has gone through her own journey. So I have a wide spectrum of sexuality in my group of friends.

One of the reasons I think I can relate to such a variety of individuals is in that I have such a great blend of both the male and female psych, that I can grasp where they are coming from. My wife though not CD, or have any interest, has these traits as well, the blend of female and male psych. I believe this is why we are such kindred spirits, sort of like yin and yang. So I hope that was not TMI but gives you a little insight into one of your Ambassadors on Crossdresser Heaven and why I can do what I do, listen, be supportive and be a friend. That and 25 years in personnel management skills doesn’t hurt any, LOL.

I want you to know ladies that you have someone on your side that really feels both sides and is not conflicted, and that it is possible to have balance between your male and female side and you can feel complete and at peace with ALL of you. I look forward to chatting with you on the site. Feel free to message me and say “Hi”!!

Codille Benton

P.S. If you would like to be featured on Crossdresser Heaven, please submit your crossdressing success story. If you’ve already shared on the forums it’s okay to repurpose what you wrote. I’d also love to hear from ladies who are crossdressing without transitioning, and happy in both genders.

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Codille Benton

I am a MTF Crossdresser for 30+ years. I came to CDH in April of 2015, Looking for Friends and Support just like everyone else, as I was looking to take my first big steps out the door. That seems so long ago thanks to the members of this site and their love. I am very active participant and I also the Manager of the site, which began as a blog by Vanessa Law. What I think Vanessa asking me to manage the sites means... I have been dressing for a while so I have a lot of things to offer others, I am organized and I REALLY like talking to people 🙂 If you haven’t read all my profile, I welcome you to please do so, it gives you a pretty good idea of who I am. Here is the link something that will tell you more about me. There have been more than a few personal updates to this as well in the responses. A Sequel article is in the works as well as a lot has changed in two years, but here is the beginning. If the link doesn’t work check under the in the stories section at the top of your profile page, mine is the one with the Phoenix image, so just about all about me can be found in those two places. Also I am an open book and will answer almost any question posted to me. I welcome to a whole new world, that you can be you, no judging just friendship, helpful tips and lots support. As for the site, the ladies are amazing and friendly. Almost no question will not be answered (Just keep it tasteful), by someone who has been there where you are in some way. I have met some incredible ladies that just want someone else that is a crossdresser to talk to and be a friend. You will feel at home immediately. If you want to jump right in write your profile and let people your journey, if you want to stick your toe into the water first, go to the forums link, and go to the new members page, just say hi and then browse all the great insight these wonderful women have already put there. Just so you know all of the post are from people like you and me, not some expert, but women that all are looking for answers or just someone else to talk to. We also have a for the pride of your part of the world. We are a growing community so if you don’t see a group link listed for your specific country, link up with the next closest. Trust me the site is growing fast enough we will be adding more groups as soon as there are enough people you won’t be by yourself. So follow this link and find ladies in your area: As for me, I also have been asked to give guidance, again that whole I have been dressing a while thing, but I too am looking for some HELP as I certainly don’t have all the answer to Life, The Universe and Everything CD. So I want to say HI!!!!!! Thanks so much for accepting my friendship request and I look forward to talking with you soon!!! Hugs, Codille Benton Managing Ambassador and Friend

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Barbi Lynn
Barbi Lynn

I too am not going to transition. But you said you took over the site two and a half years ago. Where are you on your journey now from when you wrote this originally?

Barbi Lynn

Peggy Ann Culpepper
Peggy Ann Culpepper

Thanks Codille for the advice, and being there for us. I am 77 and in the last lap of the Datona Five Hundred Race of life. I have been a CD since about the age of 2, (part of my trip has been posted elsewhere on this site) most of the laps of life have been Very Bumpy Due to what we all have had to contend with because of the views of world. Though , we have come a long way from what I had to contend with in the 50’s and 60’s. At long last I am able… Read more »

Jodi Cooke

Hi,I everyone, just finishing up a 4 night vacation at Branson, Mo. Stayed in femme underdressed out an full femme at the condo. I’m lucky, wife likes helping me “Jodi” with makeup and hair. Only my wife and the nice lady’s on CDH knows what Jodi looks like. For now! Building my confidence to go “out” in full femme. Maybe next time! Lol

Khloe West

Know that I have been on and off absent for long periods, but can’t believe It’s the first time I’ve read this tonight! Brilliant read! Like you? No desire to fully transition. It would gain me nothing. I also have a supportive wife that “knows” – despite getting to THAT point at the tender age of 51 as a side swerve into a ditch that was she and I playing a prank on HER FB pals that had utterly unexpected consequences. I may get around to “submitting that success story”, but that might be a mini-series in itself – lol!… Read more »

Yasmen Drew

I don’t get a chance to dress how I wish I am growing my breasts I wish for a D cup I love bras and panties and stocking I am happy being me I like being with transsexual and cross dressers I also like kissing men that’s me and I am happy

cathy stevens

I enjoyed reading all the comments. I can sure relate. Just got back from Walmart wearing short shorts bra and a top. No one really noticed one way or the other. I guess next I will do my makeup and wig and see what happens. I lov

Beth Satine

Thank you for sharing your story. I am jealous of your situation. It must be nice to have a solid support group. It can get lonely when nobody knows.



I don’t mind it much any more as much in the past I still like wearing pantys most of the time they are comfort thing for me. Sometimes a nightgown in sleep but other than that no wigs or bras but who knows I’m 56 been doing it for 30 some years it normal to me .

Heathre Trinkoff

Is there a younger girl that will hold my hand and go thru this transformation with me I live in new jerset Heathre please get in touch with me

Morgan Staar
Morgan Staar

Ive heard the term socially transgendered..I enjoy living as female every chance I get..My friends and acquaintances are all on board, supportive and encouraging. Even the couple of friends who wanted to take it up a notch didnt have an issue that I was CD, So perfectly content right now but boob would be nice……..


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