Crossdressing and God's enduring love

Vicki brings us another inspiration for crossdressing Christians inspired by the devastation in Haiti, and the outpouring of love from around the world. Truly, God is there when it is darkest, even though His instrument may look to you and me like a caring person and not a flash of lightening from the sky.

Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of services, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who activates all of them in everyone. ! Corinthians 12: 4-6

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The events in Haiti and some of the negative comments from certain religious and political figures here in the US and elsewhere certainly made me a little uncomfortable with sharing the label Christian. I’ll admit, at the beginning of this crisis, I tried to avoid the images. We’d just finished the season of Christmas and all of a sudden the sick stark reality of the world was trying to rumble back into my conscious. But Pat Robertson’s and Rush Limbaugh’s comments put me in a fighting mood and now I am riveted by the stories, and images emerging from the devastation. A local woman, Molly Hightower, a Catholic woman died in Haiti, trying to help a people already beset by poverty, disease, and suffering. Yet despite this and despite stories from people who have fled, they all seem united in one common thought. Let us catch our breath and then we are going back to help, to rebuild, and to affect lives in a loving and positive way. These people live the message of God. This morning I saw a news clip about how an Israeli rescue team had freed a man trapped since the quake nearly two weeks ago.  What The  rescuer said, when asked about the man’s condition was, “I don’t care, he’s alive.”

People from different walks of life, people with different talents and abilities, all are working to ease the hurt. That is God’s response, not one of turning His back, or rendering the destruction in the first place to punish an evil people and nation. So, where is the connection to this, and cross dressing life? Sisters, God gave us a gift. Though many may see it as sinful or an aberration, it is a gift that God gave and if we approach it that way, and live our lives that way, then the fruits of that gift can blossom with the aid of the Spirit. Those who look on us as sick or aberrant are missing the point that, for me at least, when I embrace my feminine side and let go of the macho mask I try to put up, my creative spirit, my empathetic spirit, my loving spirit is strengthened. But most importantly, I find myself actually coming closer to God. Rather than God turning from me because I like to express a feminine side of my personality, He seems to be celebrating with me that I have discovered He made me this way, and He has a plan to use me in the world.

At 54, I am still trying to discover exactly what God has in mind for me. But for the first time, I feel like I am finally on a path to discovering what it is. My heart aches for the people of Haiti right now, I want to do something other than sit with tears in my eyes as the images continue to play on my tv screen. A donation however small does not seem to be enough. Then I realize that perhaps it is enough, that there are talented people who DO belong at the side of the Haitian people. Their skills and spirit are well suited to the task at hand. Maybe it is enough to pray and do what little I can; God has something else in mind for me. God has something in mind for you too. God made you this way for a very good reason. Knowing that at this point may be enough, but be open to God’s call when it does come. And if it be in a skirt and blouse that He asks you to employ your talents, then know that it was always a part of His plan.

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  1. Anne 10 years ago

    Good words Vicki. As long as we are reaching out to those in need, does it really matter what we are wearing? In fact I may feel more empowered to reach out if I am living as God created me to be.

  2. Paula 10 years ago

    I always find that events such as the Haiti Earthquake act as a huge wake-up call. It certainly makes me count my blessing and stop complaining about all those trivial things that don’t even matter.

    We have our fair share of challenges as crossdressers and it’s easy to get wrapped up in our own little worlds. But looking at the devastation that these people are facing certainly helps to put things into perspective.

    Life’s too short to be battling with ourselves . We are the way God created us. So instead of trying to become something we’re not, we should focus on being better people. If our feminine nature allows us to be more caring, loving and compassionate, surely that can’t be a bad thing.

    • Dianna Rose 10 years ago

      Vicki, you so clearly state what I’ve been feeling for some time now. I know God made me the way I am, I know my female side is the compassionate, loving, understanding side, and that because of her I am a better person all around.

      This is the side that cries over the loss of life and again at the sight of the amazingly compassionate souls I see every day. This is the side that wants to hold every suddenly parentless child.

      Thank you, my loving Parent, for making me who I am.

    • Patti 10 years ago

      Beautiful words, Vicki.

      I would like to bring up something though… We have people just as needy in our own country who are starving, who have children, people who cannot get a job. Katrina should have been a wake up call also.

      We are blinded to our own natural disaster of helpless people, but willing to help anyone else in the world.

      We all know that God helps those who help themselves, something this country has lost sight of.

      It is a good thing that we are helping Haiti, but lets not forget our very own people too.

      • Lori 8 years ago

        Guess what people? There is NO god! This is 2011 and I still can’t believe there are people that still believe in mythology as the truth! Wake up people! Think logically! People should be moving forward not backward! Religion was formed as a way to explain our environment. It was used as the answer to why things happen and why things are the way they are. We now know the answers. The REAL answers. We know why lightning strikes. We know why the sun rises and sets. We know what the moon is. We know about evolution. All these and more have been proven. Religion is not based on facts and I would rather be told the facts and not some fairy tale.

      • Staci 8 years ago

        I must say I really appreciate such bold people. I wish I were so bold before I started getting old.
        I would like to use this moment to tell why I have such an issue with religion:
        When I was in my mid twenties, I discovered my feminine self and my bisexuality. My name sometimes comes up on here as Staci25. The 25 part was my age at this revelation, but I also had drug problems and started trying to fix it in Christian churches. I’m now in my mid 40s and looking back, I realize they wasted my time. I spent 8 years trying to do things their way and still having problems. At age 33, I quit relying on these people and everyone else like them and decided I had to solve my problems myself. Since I made that decision, I’ve been clean and sober for 10 and half years now. I tried so hard to fit into their gender dychotomy rule driven way of life that I spent all those years lying to myself about who I was and what makes me happy.
        I would never try to say there is no god because I can’t proove that. I have also found that “they” can’t proove their god exists either. My personal experience would definately suggest their god does not exist or was incapable or just unwilling. I don’t know.
        I put money I worked for in their collection plates, did plenty of volinteer work in their “causes”, and anything else they wanted to the best of my ability. Anytime I needed anything from them, they always told me go prey about. None of them were ever interested in doing anything for me unless they thought they could get something from it. My belief today is that religion is a pyramid scheme.
        I agree, it all started out of fear of the unkown. Nowadays, I see a lot of religous people using heaven and hell as a means to threaten people into following their beliefs.
        I find it sad that gays still can’t get married to each other because this is such predominately christian society driven by beliefs that can never possibly be proven. Christians are still complaining that we live in such a depraved culture yet American culture is the most sexually inhibited in the whole world second only to the Mid East – maybe.
        If I didn’t get distracted by religion so many years ago, I would have come out a lot sooner when I was young enough to live it to the fullest. I also wouldn’t have lied my way into a relationship that brought 2 children into the world. I don’t regret them. They are the best people in my life and my wife is supportive of everything I do here. We even go lingerie and high heel shopping together! But I can’t help but think it’s unfair to her and everyone else that has a family with someone that really isn’t in it all the way because they came out too late because of a society that persecutes it.
        I have come to realize that religion causes more harm than good and people need to consider the source in everything. In my experience with religous people, I find most of the people I have met seem to be threatened into their belief – Passive aggressive terrorism. Sad to say, but they are all victims of what they tried to victimize me with.

  3. Vicki 10 years ago

    Thanks Anne, I suppose skirts and heels would be impractical when working in an earthquake stricken area. But not in a soup line helping to serve, or in corresponding with prisoners about God’s love for them, or just greeting someone at a church entrance as an usher.
    Stacy I can pray that people’s minds change someday, or for me personally I can try and do more to change people’s thoughts about us, by this column hopefully, but also by action. Your response makes me think about what I should be doing next. Thank you
    Paula, I appreciate you putting the events into perspective while still allowing that we deserve a voice in the conversation as well.
    Thank you Dianna Rose, thank you for affirming by your experience my own. I often wonder if my temper which only seems to come out when I am in male mode is just a response to keeping the gentle bottled up, because it is not manly to show emotion. Probably deeper than that of course, but I never feel so frustrated at things when I allow Vicki out.
    Thank you to all who have commented to this so far. You have brought me more joy today than I could ever imagine. I feel like I’m at one of those places in my life where I can take a side road, turn back, or keep moving forward. Today has been a day rich in blessings from our God, though it started out with me spending the day home from work sick. Sometimes he needs us to slow down to hear his music in our lives. Bless you each for affirming that I need to keep putting one foot, 4 inch heel and all, in front of the other.

  4. Amber 10 years ago

    Hi Vicki
    I understand your frustration with people such as Robertson and Rush “whats-is-name.” Those folks are always going to be there. They both stand in that group of self-serviing individuals. And if you don’t mind, I would guess they are both lonely. Somehow, they do not understand the concept of community, nor have learned how to enter into a community. Until, they change, neither one deserves much of our emotional energy.
    The major thing now is to focus on the compassion we can shower on the survivors of Haiti. They do need our support. And we the people who have eyes that can see, can be the hands of heaven to them. My favorite means to help them is though “Food for the Poor.” It’s the largest international relief organization in America. It has a four-star rating and keeps its administrative costs under 4%. Its website tells more – as I also can.
    I applaud you for feeling so deeply. It’s a gift.

  5. Vicki 10 years ago

    Hi Patti,
    I hope that my call for attention to Haiti did not seem like I was asking us to ignore problems in our own country. If anything it should be a time to look inside too. But honestly, Christ knows no boundaries, and we are, after all is said and done, the richest nation on earth and we should be able to help in Haiti and elsewhere. The Good Samaritan did not look at nationalities, he only looked at the need. He didn’t say I have trouble enough at home, a brother is hurting here in front of me. I think Christ would gladly accept us turning our eyes inward to our own hurt, but not to ignore hurt wherever it is found
    One of the neat things I’ve noticed is that this is not just US responding, this is worldwide.
    Oh and one little pet peeve. “God helps those who help themselves” is not Biblical. Some people think it is. That particular quote is sourced from Ben Franklin, from Poor Richard’s Almanac; the original comes from Aesop’s fables in which he wrote “the gods help those who help themselves. ”
    As always we are to rely on God and God only, He will use our hands, but ultimately it was He who sacrificed His life so that we might live, we remain helpless in our bondage to sin without His Grace.
    Thank you Patti, I respect your opinion deeply, my heart tells me that we are doing God’s work in Haiti, but we should also be aware of trouble on our own doorstep. Thank you so much for reminding us of that.

    Yours in Christ

    • Ragina 10 years ago

      Dearest Vicki and others,
      I really loved your piece today. Yes, we should look inward to our own afairs, but we are more and more a global community and we should act as such. Just an aside, the Episcopal Diocese of Georgia recently concecrated a new Bishop. As is his place, he has a discretionary fund. He chose to send the offering that day to the Episcopal Relief Fund to go to Haite. This is a wonderful charity as it benifits all people, regardless of thier faith. Our new Bishop really earned some cool points with that. Anyway, please keep up the wonderful work that you do, and may God richly bless you as you do.
      I remain, in Him, Ragina

  6. Debbie 10 years ago


    Well put… and I appreciate your words. So many people who profess to be Christians seems to forget that God is love and not to judge others. We must use our talents and not hide them. And it was Jesus himself who had so many harsh things to say about religious leader of his day who were failing the the flock under there care. History seems to be repeating itself in my view.

    I believe we are an eternal spirit living living our life inside the this body of gender. I seem to remember in my reading that there is no gender in the after life. So it’s not surprising to me that we have a balance of the feminine and the masculine in my spirit. So in my male body my feminine side wants to express herself. So I see nothing wrong with wearing a blouse, skirt and high heels. They are just clothes like the flowers of the field who are here today and gone tomorrow.

    That is the way the Creator made me and I love who I am.

  7. Lori 8 years ago

    I am so happy to see there are people that have seen the light! I so enjoyed reading your comment Staci! I wish there were more people like you in the world! Thank-you!

  8. Staci66 8 years ago

    Hey Vicki. I noticed how there are Christians out there who crossdress and love it, and see no problem with it. I am a Christian too, and I’m trying to live the way God wants me too, but I feel like crossdressing is a sexual sin. How do you feel about this?

    • Ragina 8 years ago

      Staci, I too am a christian crossdresser, although I haven’t come out in my own church. I have done much study and reading about just that question and rteally cannot find anywhere that states that crossdressing is a sin. Sure,sure you can quote me the scripture in Deuteronomy, but I doubt that the sord, being quoted out of context by fundamentalists, refers exactly to cressdressing. You may study for yourself, but please do so prayerfuly.

  9. Staci66 8 years ago

    Thanks for the reply. I understand about the Deuteronomy verse, and I know that the act of crossdressing it self isn’t wrong. But pretty much everytime I crossdress, I sin sexually, and that’s where the problem occurs.

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