Crossdressing has made me more human

Crossdressing has made me more human

I don’t remember the day I first found a name to describe the desire I had to wear woman’s clothes. Yet even before I knew what it was called, I realized there was something forbidden about it. My subconscious kept telling me

Crossdressing is wrong

At not more than four or five years old I umpired the struggle within me between my desire to wear woman’s clothes and the feeling inside that kept telling me, ‘this is wrong’. Somehow I knew that I needed to hide what I was doing from others.

Over the years my understanding of who I was grew. I learnt that I was not alone, and discovered the difference between transgender and transsexual.

Crossdresser Heaven - Find Your Tribe

I also learnt that

Crossdressing is not just a curse

many aspects of my personality were influenced by my desire to express the feminine inside of me. My wife tells me that she was attracted to me, in part because I’m a gentle, caring person. These traits I think come from the same place in me that longs for the feminine.

Yet to share this fact wasn’t why I decided to write the article. Many books on cross dressing, such as those by Peggy Rudd or Helen Boyd mention that crossdressers inherit some of the positive aspects of the feminine persona. Such as being more gentle.

Growing up I was a very absolute person. I had been taught in Sunday school that there was right and wrong, good and evil. One of the reasons I struggled so much with crossdressing early on, was because I felt it was morally wrong. You see, I had a fairly narrow definition of what was “acceptable” in a human being. If they didn’t meet the standard I’d set for them, then I judged them “unworthy” in some way. You don’t go to church? ‘unworthy’. You don’t show care for other people in the exact same way as I do? ‘unworthy’.

Coming to terms with my crossdressing made me realize that I, too, was unworthy. So my mind had given me a choice – either continue to judge other people harshly and reflect that same wrath onto myself, or learn to accept their differences. In my more recent vocabulary: Namaste.

Crossdressing has made me realize that we are all “flawed” in some way. Yet it is those very flaws which form the foundation for our beauty. Someone will always think we are too fat, too conservative, too old, too skinny, too liberal, too tall, too short, too loud, too quiet. What they are really saying is: “You are different from me. I haven’t yet accepted my differences, so I cannot accept yours.”

Wishing you a blessed week. Celebrate your differences!

P.S. Celebrating your difference doesn’t mean you have to stand out. Learn how to cross dress and pass as a woman.

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  1. Chrissy Turner 9 months ago

    All mine started as was wearing panties then it went to bra’s then cami’s and then clothes and make up and going from straight to bisexual now wanting to get hormones to become mtf i want to become more feminine and transgender

  2. Terry Wright 2 years ago

    I find it disturbing that in this day and age, that it is more socially acceptable to be gay than to be a straight man who likes to dress in woman’s clothes. I do not want to be a woman, however I enjoy lots of aspects, activities and styles that are associated with being a woman. Why is that such a threat to the white bread members of today’s society?

    Yes there are those, who accept you, but at a general rule too many folks still have a very negative reaction, sometimes even violent. I appreciate the corners of the world, like this site, that allow folks to just be who they are.

  3. stephanie 2 years ago

    I have loved reading these stories of anguish and pain…..BUT there is no need to be in any unhappy state!! Be yourself Be YOU let yourself be the true person you are…..I have been crossdressing for years now and only recently went to a church service for all sorts of people …I found it uplifting and joyful. I was accepted for who I was not what I was wearing….I am happy to crossdress almost all the time now and feel so happy..So my message to anybody is BE You ,Take courage…………Stephanie…………………

  4. Jamie 3 years ago

    I crossdress every day with pantry and pantyhose and shapewear it makes me feel so good to be able to be the woman I want to be.I shop for new women’s clothing at stores and online I am proud of myself to be able to wear women’s clothing and makeup and feel good.

  5. bruce/brucelina 3 years ago

    after 15 years of being a closet crossdresser i finally came out to my mom as a crossdresser and asked for her acceptence and help as to how to dress femme at home and have her support and under stand that i am not gay and it only helps me to relax aftter a stressfull day.

    • julianne w 3 years ago

      I am so happy for you I wish my mother was still alive i believe she would be accepting. I hope it all goes well for you .hugs Julianne

  6. Tinaky 3 years ago

    I am out to my wife but want to come out to others

  7. Janine 3 years ago

    I was terrified to go out dressed for years until one day I told myself that today is the day
    It took most of the day to get myself ready so I thought that I looked good enough to pass.
    My first time out I went to a Macy’s in the local mall
    The walk from my car to the entrance to the store was a walk of wonder. I couldn’t believe that I was actually going into a store as a female.
    I almost turned around when I got to the door but a lady was leaving and she held the door open for me
    I smiled at her and went inside.
    I had walked into the lingerie department and was immediately surrounded by the most beautiful collection of panties and bras that I had ever seen.
    I started to browse through them and nobody was paying attention to me
    I found a cute little skirt and paid for it with cash.
    The walk out of the store wasn’t as intimidating as the walk in.
    Thats my first time out and I have been out many times since.

  8. Robert13 8 years ago

    Th answer is yes and no. In the no part is just the physical structure,
    you are human with all the body parts, being male or female. you are structurally the same as any other human on this planet, unless you have a third arm or something.
    In the yes part. The human brain, their DNA, and the variable hormonal make-up aids in determining our GENDER ORIENTATION.
    If a male has an unbalance hormone level (estrogens & testosterone)
    then it plays heavily in gender recognition. Those with higher testosterone levels are more agressive, are stronger physically and are more likely to reject things that are considered feminine. Of course those with lower male hormone levels would be more attracted to
    those things considered feminine, but this doesn’t mean he would identify as a female. If however that same male has a higher estrogen
    level he may.
    The brain in its developement is a determiner as well. It is well documented that mens’ brains develope different from the female brain
    (left brain/right brain). Some males develope a female brain and it is what is causing the formation of transgenderism. A male with a developed female brain will THINK like a female. He will see the world as a female does. He will know he doesn’t quite fit into the male world,
    but also not fit into the female world. It will however be lesser of the latter. As a young boy he will be attracted to more feminine things,
    this could be clothing, toys, or other items associated with the feminine world. This is where the inner conflict begins. He is told to be a man, boys don’t cry and the like. Boys are pushed towards more manly things like sports, competition, manly skills, but the female brain boy just doesn’t fit here. He’s awkward in sports, crys easily
    and becomes withdrawn, trying to seek out where he fits in the world.
    There is no evidence or studies known if and how DNA effects the gender identity. The only thing that is certain is that of the 26 Chromosomes half are male and half are female. Unlike Gays who have
    an extra chromosome at the end of the strands, do transgendered persons have an extra chromosome that is paralelled to the X & Y chromosomes. This has never been researched.
    To put it more bluntly humans are very complex. I do think being transgendered does make us more human. Being more human in that we are closer to that which makes a human. WE are a blend of both genders, while physically one gender, mentally the other. We can more easily accept both worlds, liking some of the masculine world and some of the feminine world. While it is not always evenly balanced
    it does aid in our developemnet of our humanity.

  9. Josephine Shaffer 8 years ago

    I don't give a damn where she was tought against crossdressing if i was born a girl in the first place i wouldn't bother crossdressing period.

  10. victoria 9 years ago

    am i a crossdresser if i only wear panties? and do you think ill ever wear more than panties?

    • Vanessa Law 9 years ago

      Hi Victoria,
      Don’t get too hung up on labels. if you only wear panties you’re still crossdressing, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll want to wear more than that.

      Relax and do what feels right to you. There are no rules 🙂

    • carla 8 years ago

      Hi Victoria I'm pretty much the way you are….I wear panties all the time….I started out wearing only panties but gradually tried other articles of clothing and found it to be very exciting….I am now wearing stockings and bras whenever possible… in answer to your questions….yes you are a crossdresser and you will feel much better by admitting it to yourself…..I am sure you will progress to wearing other feminine clothing

  11. Terri 9 years ago

    I wish I could get the help I need

    • Ragina 9 years ago

      Terri, Hi hon, I’m Ragina. What help do you need? Honestly, coming out can be a most stressful time in a crossdresser’s life. Is it really necessary for you to “come out”? If you have a girlfriend, wife, family members, etc. , Then maybe you do. If not, then you should consider waiting to be open about crossdressing. Perhaps you are in a place where you really can’t be totally open, such as work. In that case, you can always crossdress “under cover” . Wear a pretty pair of panties and pantyhose under your regular work attire. And , of course don’t forget a good pedicure can do wonders for the feminine parts of you. With all that said, you are at one of the best places for help that you can find anywhere on line. There is a whole world of help right here, all you need to do is ask. I’m not saying this because Vanessa asked me to. I’m saying this on my own. Reach out and say what is bugging you. Someone out here has already been there. Above all, love yourself.

    • jamme mac 10 months ago

      Terri, I hope you have since this comment was posted. I also feel the same and do not know where locally to find help or guidance. it seems as if once you make the cross-over, you forget there are others still waiting to make the journey.

  12. Cici Kitten 10 years ago

    I have loved sharing my experiences aboout coming out, dressing, photo shoots, fashion and interviews with some fab t-girl celebrities.

    Please come share in my experience at my blog which is

    I hope to share, inform and move our cause ahead!

  13. Vanessa Law 10 years ago

    Go girl! The ways that crossdressing touches our lives are numerous and sometimes wonderful. I’m so happy to hear you’ve found acceptance and a good circle of girlfriends who you can spend time with!

  14. Joanna Maguire 10 years ago

    As a male I was shy a loner and nervous ! A sociophobic. But as Joanna I am talkative Love mixing with people at parties Fumble in my handbag Spend hours shopping in the ladies depts Not scared in public as I was as a male
    Now I easily make friends with other womennLove to gospi with them especialy about the bad side of their boyfriends Fashion makeup and apperance
    Ive been a CD since I was 7rs old I am now retired and live enfemme after over 50yrs as a CD

  15. Lynn Jones 11 years ago

    > Growing up I was a very absolute person

    In the past I found absolutes easy to deal with. Right and wrong, with you or against you.

    As you meet more people and life throws you the odd curve ball, you re-evaluate your beliefs and personally, I think of most things now as a sliding scale. Sure, there are big bad things out there, but there are also minor blips of ‘badness’ that don’t amount to much in the great swing of things.

    When I was growing up, I struggled with the whole ‘cross-dressing is bad’ thing too. Now, I’m not so bothered. Far worse things could have happened and I’ve had some great times and met some very interesting people through the years because of background.

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