Crossdressing has made me more human

I don’t remember the day I first found a name to describe the desire I had to wear woman’s clothes. Yet even before I knew what it was called, I realized there was something forbidden about it. My subconscious kept telling me

Crossdressing is wrong

At not more than four or five years old I umpired the struggle within me between my desire to wear woman’s clothes and the feeling inside that kept telling me, ‘this is wrong’. Somehow I knew that I needed to hide what I was doing from others.

Over the years my understanding of who I was grew. I learnt that I was not alone, and discovered the difference between transgender and transsexual.

I also learnt that

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Crossdressing is not just a curse

many aspects of my personality were influenced by my desire to express the feminine inside of me. My wife tells me that she was attracted to me, in part because I’m a gentle, caring person. These traits I think come from the same place in me that longs for the feminine.

Yet to share this fact wasn’t why I decided to write the article. Many books on cross dressing, such as those by Peggy Rudd or Helen Boyd mention that crossdressers inherit some of the positive aspects of the feminine persona. Such as being more gentle.

Growing up I was a very absolute person. I had been taught in Sunday school that there was right and wrong, good and evil. One of the reasons I struggled so much with crossdressing early on, was because I felt it was morally wrong. You see, I had a fairly narrow definition of what was “acceptable” in a human being. If they didn’t meet the standard I’d set for them, then I judged them “unworthy” in some way. You don’t go to church? ‘unworthy’. You don’t show care for other people in the exact same way as I do? ‘unworthy’.

Coming to terms with my crossdressing made me realize that I, too, was unworthy. So my mind had given me a choice – either continue to judge other people harshly and reflect that same wrath onto myself, or learn to accept their differences. In my more recent vocabulary: Namaste.

Crossdressing has made me realize that we are all “flawed” in some way. Yet it is those very flaws which form the foundation for our beauty. Someone will always think we are too fat, too conservative, too old, too skinny, too liberal, too tall, too short, too loud, too quiet. What they are really saying is: “You are different from me. I haven’t yet accepted my differences, so I cannot accept yours.”

Wishing you a blessed week. Celebrate your differences!

P.S. Celebrating your difference doesn’t mean you have to stand out. Learn how to cross dress and pass as a woman.


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I’m passionate about creating a safe space for everyone in the transgender community to find laughter and friendship on their journey. I completed my physical transition in 2011 and through it I lost everything, and gained everything. I am blessed that I was forced to gaze inward and embark on the journey to discover and live my authentic self. My deepest wish is that all who wander here may find peace, happiness and freedom.

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8 years ago

after 15 years of being a closet crossdresser i finally came out to my mom as a crossdresser and asked for her acceptence and help as to how to dress femme at home and have her support and under stand that i am not gay and it only helps me to relax aftter a stressfull day.

julianne w' class='avatar avatar-64 photo' height='64' width='64' />
julianne w
8 years ago

I am so happy for you I wish my mother was still alive i believe she would be accepting. I hope it all goes well for you .hugs Julianne

Jamie' class='avatar avatar-64 photo' height='64' width='64' />
8 years ago

I crossdress every day with pantry and pantyhose and shapewear it makes me feel so good to be able to be the woman I want to be.I shop for new women’s clothing at stores and online I am proud of myself to be able to wear women’s clothing and makeup and feel good.

8 years ago

I have loved reading these stories of anguish and pain…..BUT there is no need to be in any unhappy state!! Be yourself Be YOU let yourself be the true person you are…..I have been crossdressing for years now and only recently went to a church service for all sorts of people …I found it uplifting and joyful. I was accepted for who I was not what I was wearing….I am happy to crossdress almost all the time now and feel so happy..So my message to anybody is BE You ,Take courage…………Stephanie…………………

Terry Wright
Terry Wright
7 years ago

I find it disturbing that in this day and age, that it is more socially acceptable to be gay than to be a straight man who likes to dress in woman’s clothes. I do not want to be a woman, however I enjoy lots of aspects, activities and styles that are associated with being a woman. Why is that such a threat to the white bread members of today’s society? Yes there are those, who accept you, but at a general rule too many folks still have a very negative reaction, sometimes even violent. I appreciate the corners of the… Read more »

Chrissy Turner
Chrissy Turner
6 years ago

All mine started as was wearing panties then it went to bra’s then cami’s and then clothes and make up and going from straight to bisexual now wanting to get hormones to become mtf i want to become more feminine and transgender

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