We all know how much joy and happiness we get from transforming ourselves into the wonderfully feminine women we so desire to be; it’s literally the best feeling in the world and can’t be beat! The only thing that may even come close to that feeling is the thrill and excitement that comes from getting all dressed and made up and then going out in public to be seen and treated as a woman. Being a woman in public is something we plan for and look forward to, so we want to get the most enjoyment from it that we can. Because let’s face it, we celebrate those special times when we actually go out in the real world to experience it as women.

Unfortunately, we live in a world that isn’t always accepting of us. So before you go out anywhere, here are some tips I’ve learned over the years that I’d like to share with you, to help make things a bit easier and a bit safer for you.

  • If you want to go someplace you’ve never been before, and especially if you plan to go to a store to try on clothes, lingerie, etc., call them first to make sure they’re okay with you coming cross dressed.
  • We all love how our legs look in high heels, but if you’re not comfortable walking in them (and especially in stiletto heels), don’t wear them when you go out. Instead wear block heels, sling backs, platforms, or some other style that provides more stability so you don’t fall.
  • If you’re going to drive your car, before you leave, always check your brake lights, running lights, turn signals, and horn to make sure they work. Also check your tire pressure, belts, hoses, and fluid levels. You don’t want to get pulled over for something like a brake light being out or have a break down due to a simple maintenance issue.
  • Once you’re in your car, be sure and lock your doors and put on your seatbelt.
  • If you’re not sure about your ability to drive in high heels, take a pair of flats with you and drive in those. There’s no sense in getting a heel stuck under the brake or gas pedal and ending up in a wreck.
  • Once you get to your destination, don’t park far away from the entrance. It’s safer to park close where there will be others around.
  • Always park in well-lit areas.
  • Always be aware of your surroundings and the people in them.
  • If you’re comfortable with your female presentation, call an Uber or take a cab to wherever you’re going. That way you don’t have to worry about driving or drinking or anything like that.
  • If you’re unsure, hesitant or uncomfortable about going somewhere, don’t go. Why? Because if you went, you might act scared or furtive and draw unwanted attention to yourself.
  • Make sure you always have cash, credit cards, and gas credit cards in your purse.
  • Make sure you always have your male driver’s license and insurance card in your purse. If you have a driver’s license or ID card issued to you as a woman, take that as well.
  • If you’re in the process of transitioning and are under the care of a medical professional, always carry a letter from your doctor explaining that in your purse.
  • If you are stopped by an officer of the law for any reason, don’t lie and say you’re a woman, that will only make things worse.
  • Always have some form of personal protection in your purse, such as pepper spray, Mace, a personal Taser, or even a pistol. However, remember that if you have something like that, you have to be prepared to use it.
  • Carry an easy to reach whistle, alarm or other loud noisemaker in your purse that you can quickly reach in the event of an emergency.
  • Make sure your phone is fully charged and in your purse.
  • If you’re going to a public place, dress to blend in, not stand out. When you’re out you want to be seen as just another woman, not a man in a dress. You don’t want to draw attention to yourself.
  • If you’re walking anywhere, take smaller steps like a woman does, don’t walk like a lumberjack in a dress.
  • Never agree to meet someone you’ve only met online in a secluded location. Even if it’s another “sister” you should always meet in a public place first.
  • Never give out your personal information to someone you’ve just met.
  • Never go alone at night to someplace you’ve never been before.
  • If you can go out in a group, do so, because there’s always safety in numbers.
  • If possible, let someone know when and where you’re going and when you expect to return (this may be difficult if no one knows you’re a crossdresser).
  • Don’t drink too much. Inhibitions tend to go out the window faster than you realize when you’ve drunk too much, and you don’t want to regret your actions.
  • If you’re not sure of your ability to pass, always bring makeup wipes and a change of male clothes for those emergencies when you have to change back into your male self.
  • If you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation, leave.
  • When you’re walking back to your car, have your keys already in hand (as they can be used as a weapon to defend yourself if needed) or have your pepper spray or other defensive item handy.
  • If you have a keyless car fob, keep it in your hand with your finger on the horn button, so you can press it to start sounding the car horn to attract attention should you need it.
  • When you go back to your car at the end of your time out in public, always check the inside of your car before getting in.
  • If you leave a building and think you’re being followed, run back inside the building. Scream if necessary to attract attention.
  • If you’re driving and think you’re being followed, drive to the nearest police station, fire station, hospital or other big public building where there are a lot of people. Do not drive home!

Now I know that by reading this, some of you are going to wonder if it’s ever worth it to go out in public as a woman. Let me tell you from personal experience, it absolutely is! There is no other feeling as wonderful as being out in public as a woman and being seen and treated as a woman. Whether it’s having a door held open for you, a chair pulled out for you, being called “Ma’am” or “Miss”, or being able to try on those wonderfully feminine articles of lingerie and clothing in the women’s dressing room, once you go out in public as a woman you’ll be fully enveloped in the pink fog, and will want to do it again and again!

I wrote this article to help all my sisters realize that as transgender women, we have to begin to think and act like real women when it comes to our personal safety. By being aware and taking proper precautions, you’ll be able to enjoy your time as a woman even more!

Remember: be safe, take the proper precautions, and you’ll have a wonderfully feminine time when you go out in public as the woman you really are!

Thank you for taking the time to read my safety tips while preparing and being out in public en femme. Please take the time to leave me a quick response to my article above or one of the three questions I’ve posted for you below:

  • How did things go the first time you went out in public en femme?
  • Where did you decide to go on your very first night out as a woman?
  • How many times have you been out in public en femme following your first night out and how many different places have you been while out?

Sincerely, Holly


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Lauren Mugnaia
Active Member
2 months ago

Hi Holly, My first time out in public took place quite a few years ago, and went very well. Knowing all along I was “different”, feeling very satisfied and confident with my look and already somewhat “out”, I actually went up to the college I was going to and had a coffee, as I recollect I was wearing a light blue pantsuit and a pair of matching three inch slingback sandals. I have always been able to pass which has made my life as Lauren very doable. Through the years I have been out whenever the opportunity was available, I… Read more »

Fiona Black
Active Member
2 months ago

Holly, All good points to be remembered. I’d like add: Always be observant of the people around you so you become aware of someone following you or taking an unhealthy interest in you. Don’t want to scare anyone and you shouldn’t always be furtively, nervously looking around. Just get in the practice of casually glancing around at people & it will become second nature very quickly. If you use the ladies room get in & out quickly, don’t talk to anyone and remember to point your feet at the stall door. You can always touch up your hair or lipstick… Read more »

Trusted Member
2 months ago

Thank you Holly for taking the time for “Crossdressing Tips”…Leonara’s first time out was to a tg/cd friendly party .. I had a great time..and I met Terri, a sister here at CDH, who was supportive and helped calm the “jitters”.. unfortunately I haven’t had the opportunity to go out ‘n about..
Warmest regards, Leonara

Emily Alt
Active Member
2 months ago

Holly, Thanks for taking the time to put this article together. There’s a lot of helpful info here. There is one thing I would like to add, and that’s regarding restrooms. Ladies, if you are going to go out, please DO NOT use the men’s room. It’s one of the most dangerous places you can go. Think about it for a moment. What might happen if a cis-woman went into the men’s room? A misogynist might think she’s looking for a good time and she gets harassed or assaulted. If you pass or look good, that’s you. What might happen if a CD or transwoman encounters… Read more »

Christine Thomas
Active Member
2 months ago

Dear Holly
thank you for this very informative article. There is certainly a lot of very good advice in it and it is something I will be reading often as I am gathering up the courage to go out for the first time. Thank you. Christine

Michelle McQueen
Active Member
2 months ago

Thanks Holly for such detailed valuable tips about going out. Yes its true we have to think like women and be safe in public even though some of us may be able to handle things physically if we had to. Yes, always know your surroundings and be safe! My first time out in public was with another sister CD on Halloween. We were in a town that accepted CD’s and we had a great time going to a gay/CD bar. We got a hotel room nearby so we could walk to the bar. It was thrilling to walk in full… Read more »

Ginger Snap
Active Member
2 months ago

Very timely, thoughtful and well written topic on crossdresding tips and safety. Be safe always girl friends
Hugs Ginger

Colleen Hathway
1 month ago

Holly, What a great article! Thanks for all those tips.

Karen Spudet
1 month ago

Well here goes. Answering these three questions. First let me state that I’m a bisexual cross dresser. So, my choice for the first time out fully dressed I chose to go to a local adult bookstore. That I had been to before in male mode. I felt that if I could get some attention there. It would boost my confidence. I did get some action. So, the next time I chose to go to a local LGBT friendly club. I scheduled an appointment for a makeover at a saloon. The lady there was great even gave me tips on doing… Read more »

Colette Brown
1 month ago

Great article and thanks for writing this article. They are very helpful tips. My first time out, I went to the mall and then to the movies. I had a great time and enjoyed every minute of it never encountered a problem, but I was prepared. On my first time out, I kind of did some “reconnaissance”on the mall like what type of clothes they were wearing to blend in and typos, environment and people in the areas in guy ,ode and then came back in femme mode. Are used to go out there frequently that I had kids

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