It just seems to me, the more I come out, the further I come out, if you see what I mean. I am becoming really used to spending most of the day en femme. Mostly I do it for its own sake. I have built up a network of support such as my stylist, Madame Lil, who is also my wig provider and provides me with eyeliner help as well. She also does my fingernails. I could never adapt to painting the nails of my dominant hand. There is also my nail artist, At Nails, for my toenails, who has adapted to my change from drab to femme. I now sign up for the full foot spa and complicated gel toenails to get 2 hours of chair time and have all the work done. Then I have a dressmaker, Mai Thai, who regularly takes things out for me or makes me completely new items. She too has witnessed a drab to femme change. There are plenty of clothing, hair accessory, jewelry shops, coffee shops and restaurants who know me en femme. I get many positive and friendly reactions. I use the ladies’ restrooms in malls and gas stations. I park in Ladies’ Parking. For the past 5-6 weeks, I have been spending about 10 plus hours en femme every other day. Even being so versed in it and having evolved to a nice and comfortable degree in my feelings, I am still a little nervous and may play out in fumbling for my keys in my handbag.

Handbag: because you no longer have pockets

I’ve settled on this big boat of a handbag that’s not too deep and it’s made from clear plastic so I can see what’s in it. That includes my wallet, telephone and car keys. There’s a small clear pouch for the one or two items of makeup I need on the go. Usually, I never have to fumble very long for my keys. 😀

The rise and fall of heels

Exceptional Voice

I can remember in my previous published article I said I didn’t need heels. However, I couldn’t resist heels and so I ordered a couple of pairs and found other pairs in shops and so on. I purchased all kinds of colors as well to include purple, white, silver, black, gold and red. For at least a year or two, I tried to go to places wearing these heels and sometimes it was OK for a bit however, in the end, every pair of heels I had eventually turned on me.

There was one incident when there just appeared some extra pressure on my metatarsals from a pair of silver heels which hurt so bad I had no option but just to remove the heels as quickly as possible. The pain lingered so long afterward that I thought I’d done myself some permanent damage. But apparently, as of now, my feet are just fine. Another way heels can just kill you is to squeeze your pinky toes so hard they feel like they’re gonna fall off. But heels are deceptive to a degree. Often when you put them on they don’t feel so bad at all. You can walk around in them maybe for about an hour or so with no ill effect. However, get into hour 2 or 3, and the forces of gravity start to take its toll on my feet. All the pressure I am applying to my feet as I walk and do things in these heels start to hurt me in one way or another regardless of the quality or cost of the heels.

I can see it’s possible to evolve to a comfortable heel wearing, like all the women singers in the pop charts, but I cannot find that path yet. The best I can say for them is that heels look good on those women. I’ve been known to bring heels to a clothing try-on, get the photos, and then take them right off again. Lol. All my flat femme shoes, which had been lying around unused, were now back on the menu. In fact, they became my usual daily worn femme shoes again. Sorry heels, I tried.

A question of bust

En Femme Style

Where I happen to be, many ladies are in the left of the normal distribution of bust size. And I just like to think of myself as a very small-busted person. There is one bra company here which really caters to this group of women, which includes me 😉. They have made these beautiful padded bras with copious but very subtle and well thought out padding giving really nice breast curves. They are entirely my breasts when I put them on. And once I’ve slipped a dress over it, I am absolutely amazed by its beautiful shape filling out this feminine garment which often has special stitching to highlight the bust. All of these bras have a strapless option and I prefer strapless to straps mainly to position my bust line correctly but also because they are useful for a wide range of clothing. The rule of thumb is under the arm, mid forearm and below. The underwire (a soft underwire to assist the padding) sits at the end of the sternum. I love these bras so much I’ve bought half-a-dozens of them in black, nude, white lace, colorful and cute prints/decorations, so I ended up binning all my old padded bras which feel like training bras in comparison. Actually, the bra shop started providing a bin to recycle old bras! They obliged with nice photos of me en femme, binning my old bras for recycling. There’s just one philosophical point which appears to me true. From my perspective, it doesn’t seem worthwhile pursuing the bust of a Diana Dors as all I really need is for my bumps to look adequate and natural.

Cleanliness and godliness

This is a gross generalization and true only of probabilistic distribution curves, but women are generally cleaner than men. Another such gross generalization is that women take cleanliness to a degree which for some may appear extreme or unnecessary. But you know it, a feminine approach to hygiene obviously is required if you want to produce some nice pictures. Where I am, wearing any kind of pantyhose or stockings is rather sweaty after a while. Most women just go around in bare legs and so do I. Therefore, I like my legs to be smooth, soft, clear and even reflective or glowing. In a previous post, I talked about a map of body hair which is still in operation. Waxing shins and armpits, shaving calves, thighs, pubes, chest hair and facial hair. The waxing and shaving are also effective exfoliation. Trimming arms and hands. After every shower, I moisturize from neck to toe in Johnson’s baby lotion with a bit of baby powder. The accumulated effect after months and years of such a regime is adequately presentable legs in a mini skirt. Armpits are also a key deal for me because I really love to wear things with spaghetti straps and short little cap sleeves, etc. However, I have to be careful. I have had a number of infections from shaving them or cleaning them too zealously. So the drill now is one wax strip on each armpit in two passes up and down. After any wounds, which I can detect with the alum underarm rub, have healed, I like a nice armpit cream which makes it pale and contiguous with your arms, but microbeads are the work of Satan.

All about crotches

Koala Swim

I must say, I take a comfort-first approach to what my bits look like. Most of the time, I’m in a dress or skirt anyway and they are not an issue. If I am to be out and about in pants, or shorts, or leggings, the usual drill is to wear a sanitary pad made by a Japanese company which has manufactured it like a pull-up diaper. It is the extra thick and long night-time version. There is one kind which has the barest hint of menthol to keep your bits cool. This shelters my scrotal sac from being incised by the sharp gussets of various feminine garments. The bits point downward, but otherwise they are not constrained or crushed or pulled around in any way.

The next layer is my favorite shapewear, a large pant with padded hip and rear, which has some stays going above the navel to keep my tummy in. This on top of the pad gives a nice even curve for my shorts. Over the shapewear, I put on the brief panty which matches my bra and the crotch curve looks great to me.

Comfort and ease is my key to feeling natural

When I am walking around en femme, I like to be thinking of nice things and looking around at my surroundings and interacting with them. I don’t want to be distracted by any kind of discomfort or pain from my outfit, or things I’ve done to achieve a lady look.

Thanks for reading if you have gotten this far. Please feel free to comment on any part of the article. I’m interested to hear what you might have to say about the evolution of getting your girl on, when you’ve been doing it for longer stretches!

Hugs and kisses,

Smartina 😀

Exceptional Voice


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Smartina Fonteyn

At 53, been CD since whenever, but only in the last year have I become very confident and positive about it. I’d love to tell the story of this personal transformation.

Latest posts by Smartina Fonteyn (see all)

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Michelle McQueen
Active Member
20 days ago

Thanks for sharing. While its said women suffer for fashion, its important to be comfortable so you can relax and be your natural feminine self. It takes a lot of work and you do a great job. I love heels too but after a while they don’t like me but still I suffer for fashion. I know I couldn’t wear them all day.

Wendie Cross
19 days ago

love it!!

Paulette James
19 days ago

A wonderful article. Thanks for the detail, very helpful.

Active Member
18 days ago

Smartina thanks for sharing yourself with us. It’s a fascinating look into your life. As a part time dresser comfort tends to take a back seat for me but maybe I should reconsider. You prove that being beautiful and comfortable can be achieved

Deborah Sullivan
Trusted Member
18 days ago

thanks for sharing and totally agree with your insight on this Samantha.

17 days ago

I use to just wear short skirts and dresses going for easy sluty look. Now living with my daughter in law I’ve toned it down and found I can still look sexy without being sluty. This has opened me to more styles to try and develop. I’m so happy being a woman and I’ve learned a lot about things and myself from this site. I wish I knew this site a lot sooner it is very helpful. To all my sister’s love you ladies ❤️

17 days ago

I’ve been living as Tamara for 3 years now and it’s been the best thing in my life. I wake up feeling good and happy. My mental health has been good I care about myself and love myself. I’ve never felt like this before. For more than 50 years I thought of myself as substandard or a mutant. First started cross dressing because I liked being the girl for my boy friend. The more I did it the more naturally it felt. It made me feel this me and discovered I wanted to be a girl sense 7 years old.… Read more »

Holly Morris
Active Member
12 days ago

Hi Smartina.

I love this article and completely agree with and understand what you mean!



Misha Monroe
Active Member
2 days ago

Lovely piece! I’m curious about this: “ There is one bra company here which really caters to this group of women, which includes me . They have made these beautiful padded bras with copious but very subtle and well thought out padding giving really nice breast curves. ”. So, spill the beans, honey! What company makes these magical bras?

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