Transgender woman are different

The world is a place full of expectations. From the moment we’re born we are molded by our families loving best intentions, by our friend’s awkward desire for us to fit in to their world, by school and college and work. We’re trained to be the same, to fit into a mold that society cast for us without our consent or intention.

It dawned on me today, as I was learning more about new technologies like earthing, and I considered my journey through alternative healing, that the slightest difference and deviation is shunned. Whether it’s barefoot long haired hippies trying desperately to share their earth wisdom, or the transgender woman trying to find her place in the world – it’s hard being different.

Being different was the inspiration for the Bohemian themed top I share with you today – not only is it different, but it’s fashionably so. It’s own uniqueness has become the quality which draws others too it. It’s not just a cute summer adornment, it’s a bold and courageous declaration of self expression.

Being different in a cisgender world

As a transgender woman, one of my earliest desires was to fit in – not just in society, but in my own skin. I wanted to be accepted for who I was, who I am – but everywhere I looked at the time I found people trying to change me. This was many years ago, before I had accepted myself. I clung desperately to the hope that by changing those people would accept me, would love me.

I learnt the hard way that the pastor who tries to change you does so not out of care, but out of a deep fear that you won’t fit into his world view. By fully expressing your light you’ll make him realize the selfish shadow he is casting on his congregation. So he wraps himself in faith and uses the sword of righteousness to cleave your soul in two.

The only defense is to embrace yourself, embrace your difference. I have the blessing these days to look in the mirror with love on the woman staring back at me. It’s a new experience for me – to gaze upon myself with such love and acceptance. To see the perfection of my failures and still smile.

So if your soul is wandering, and society seems hell bent on breaking you. STOP. Breathe. Look at yourself in the mirror. Gaze with love. Let acceptance well up inside for the person you are. Are you a man who dresses as a woman? A woman born as a man? Or anywhere in between – love yourself.

It’s hard. The hardest part of the journey. Let the spirit of grace and goodness pulse within you. It may be weak at first, but grows stronger each time you tap in to it. Yes, you’re different. That’s why you’re perfect.

With love and blessings,



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I’m passionate about creating a safe space for everyone in the transgender community to find laughter and friendship on their journey. I completed my physical transition in 2011 and through it I lost everything, and gained everything. I am blessed that I was forced to gaze inward and embark on the journey to discover and live my authentic self. My deepest wish is that all who wander here may find peace, happiness and freedom.

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gerald platt
gerald platt
12 years ago

well said,to love yourself you sometime’s have to get out of your head.stop being so critical of’s short so never get too uptight about what other people think.

13 years ago

It took a long time for me to find out why I wasn’t accepted by so many different groups.  I never got the hang of conform or your out.  I even believed there must be something wrong with me.  Turns out I was just an individual with non-conforming lifestyle.  Now I just enjoy being me and if I am accepted on a certain level thats fine.  I don"t have to be part of the group, just a traveller in life.

tammy bales
tammy bales
5 years ago

Wow!Very inspiring and touching.We let the world tell us what to do all the time.We worry about what people think,sometimes people even hate us for who we are and want to be.To me it is still difficult knowing that some will hate me still,no matter what.I sometimes get depressed knowing that I will actually never be able to be my true self.I just wish I had as much courage as some of you girls here.Just once I would give anything to be dressed and pretty and walk out my door to a whole new excepting world………………

Stephanie Kennedy
Active Member
3 years ago

Hi Vanessa Thank you for a very inspirational article. One I would love to frame for my bathroom when ever i have doubts about my self looking at that mirror that sometimes just does not reflect how i feel Luv Stephanie

Trusted Member
9 months ago

Wonderful, inspiring, thank you Vanessa. Celebrate by playing our anthem… “I’m on the right track, baby, I was born this way".

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