Do you crossdress to blend in or stand out?

Dear Readers,

I’m delighted today to share a guest article from a lovely lady on the East Coast. Her fabulous style is matched only by the charming and witty writing she does at SXYCDGRL. Please welcome her to Crossdresser Heaven, and share your thoughts in the comments below!

Do you dress to pass and blend?

Or do you dress to stick out ? What is your goal when you are crossdressing ?

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Adriana is confident out dressed

Adriana is confident out dressed

For me, I guess it is a little bit of both, it just depends on the occasion. Where am I going ? Is it out into the vanilla world ? Or am I going to a wild CD/TG party ?

If it is out into the “real world” I do my best to basically blend in, I take my cues from real women.  When out in public I feel the need to “represent” our community the best way that I can , so I dress accordingly & appropriate for the venue, weather, etc.  I keep it simple, like this picture taken on a trip up to Boston, just some leggings, a plain tee,  jacket & minimal accessories. I guess you could call that my “blend mode” When I am out dressed like this, I know I am not drawing any unwanted attention and I am confident. Dressing in what you “feel good” in seems to always win for me. If I’m not feeling right, it’s time for a wardrobe change.

Adriana rocks the femme

Adriana rocks the femme

Sometimes though I really want to let my girl flag fly high, and I will have a little fun. Especially if I am headed to a big CD/TG event and I know the gals are going to be dressed for a good time.

Like this pic, taken at one of the big CD/TG Events in New Hope Pa called Raven. Here the gals throw an “Oscar Style”  red carpet party, some dress to the nines in gowns, yet others will come in almost full fetish gear. So to me this seemed like the perfect opportunity to finally wear that Tu Tu Skirt I bought. And it’s a CD/TG party so why not have fun with it right? I edged up the outfit with a bold colored moto jacket, and my favorite chunky heeled combat boots to give me a funky grunge look.  This is something I would never actually wear out in public, so sometimes at these events I like to push the envelope a bit. Am I belnding ?? Not at all. And there I guess it does not matter anyway, the point is to have fun at these events.

So in the end, I guess it depends on where you are going, and what you are doing. I cant tell you what to wear, but I can say that when you step out the front door, you are representing  me, you, and our entire community so do us all proud and leave the fishnets at home when your headed to the mall. When you go out in public do you dress to blend in ? Or stick out ?? Ad your comments to the comment section xoxo.

Adriana is a blogger for SXYCDGRL &  covers everything from makeup ,fashion & crossdressing tips, to crossdressing events & parties. You can see her features & articles on crossdressing here

Crossdresser Heaven has an opening for guest authors. If you’d like to see your writing featured on Crossdresser Heaven please If you’d like to be a guest author on Crossdresser Heaven, please get in touch!

If you’d like to learn more about blending while crossdressing please read: How to Pass as a Woman in Public and 19 Tips for Passing in Public

Here are a few more pictures of the fabulous Adriana

A smile is worth 1000 Crossdressing Tutorials

A smile is worth 1000 Crossdressing Tutorials

Have Fun En Femme

Have Fun En Femme

Classy outfits are perfect for blending

Classy outfits are perfect for blending


More Articles by Vanessa Law

View all articles by Vanessa Law
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I’m passionate about creating a safe space for everyone in the transgender community to find laughter and friendship on their journey. I completed my physical transition in 2011 and through it I lost everything, and gained everything. I am blessed that I was forced to gaze inward and embark on the journey to discover and live my authentic self. My deepest wish is that all who wander here may find peace, happiness and freedom.
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Julie Shaw
1 year ago

Agreed – I usually dress to blend. But when the situation allows, I adore getting all fancy and flashy!

Chris Mcleod
Chris Mcleod
1 year ago

I most certainly want to blend in.

Kara Sumtymes
11 months ago

On a scale of 1 to 10 I would say & was told by (others) I come in close to a,,,, 81/2 going towards a 9,, so I’m still working on my makeup skills I want to learn more about contour & highlighting this way I can really see?? If I can push it up to at least a 91/2-10,,, maybe? So no I definitely don’t want to stand out

Trisha Smith
10 months ago

I prefer to blend with flair. Something based on what and where but a touch of hey look at me. Usually flashy shoes or a lower figure revealer like a short skirt or super tight flashy jeans.

Ashley Konners
Active Member
8 months ago

I’m the same when I do slip out for quick errands and try to blend in. Women’s jeans, leggings or yoga pants but have gone to an Xpressions pub night fully dressed in a skirt and top, pantyhose,heels , full makeup and a wig!

Last edited 8 months ago by Ashley Konners
Deborah Sullivan
Trusted Member
7 months ago

well put Vanessa and agree with you totally on that

5 months ago

I just like to dress in pretty thing that are appropriate for the occasion. I went out for dinner in a spring flowered dress when almost everybody else was in jeans and plain tops. Go figure. I like to feel a little fashionable and femme. I like the comments i get when someone tells me how nice my dress looks or heels or just take notice and say you look nice. I am just started getting past my fears of getting out so this all new for me now anyway. Can’t wait to wear a cocktail dress or possibly a… Read more »

Courtney Leshea
1 month ago

At 6 foot 230 pounds I don’t blend in. No matter how good my makeup is, how good I think I’m blending. I wear according to where I’m going. Jeans and tops most of the time. Across the store no one noticed but up close 6 feet and wide shoulders are hard to ignore. I have studied how to walk. How to add add hand and facial expressions when I talk. On the phone I’m told I sound like a 30 year old female. 6 foot is hard to ignore but when I walk up to a store, I look… Read more »

Active Member
12 days ago

I agree that it depends on the setting. I first went out in public in 1980 or 1. I was so afraid of being read. As years went by, I started to not care. The times that I can get out enfemme are limited due to family situation. If I do get read now, it’s not life changing. I just want to enjoy the experience.

Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
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