Do You Like To Be Noticed?
This seems a fair question to ask any crossdresser. Those that are still in the closet may fantasize about being a good-looking girl, walking down the sidewalk getting cat calls and wolf whistles as she moves along. No?
The old saying goes, “The only thing worse than being a sex object is not being a sex object.” I did not invent that saying, but I think it’s true. When we are in the closet stage, we still try to dress our best and select those items to wear that make us look good, even though it’s “For Your Eyes Only” (my apologies to Ian Fleming). And it’s really no secret that MtF crossdressers gravitate to pantyhose and tight short skirts, fairly big breast-forms, and often long blonde hair. (If I’m projecting here, you can call me on it in the comments 🙂 ) All very girly items that tend to emphasize the young female form, especially those parts that men generally like. Oh yes, you know who you are, and what you like!
The above tells me that even the closeted crossdresser would like to be noticed and appreciated, if he could overcome his fears. Those that do overcome their fear of “something” going wrong when out on their solo trip, are going to get noticed in public. They are. Not by everyone, but they will get noticed, especially if dressed a little provocatively. As someone once said, the average male of the species is constantly watching and grading women in public. My hand is up – yes, I do it, whether I’m en femme or drab. Men have a built in “visual impact sensor”, somewhat like Lidar – our “radar”! For men, visual images are very important – thus the image of the good-looking girl stays with him.
Some of the members of our crossdressing club take very great care with their appearance. In fact, most; and the others are learning. From pantyhose to the skirt or dress, hairpiece and especially the makeup. As I’ve said elsewhere, makeup is pretty important in presenting as a lovely woman. There are very few sloppy MtF crossdressers. Why is this? I attribute it to wanting to be noticed and admired, or thought of as being sexy – yes, sexy – why not? So, do cis women get bothered by too much male attention? I suppose they do after a while. Of course, some men can also go too far. I have been told by some women that they just wanted to have a quiet drink out on the town, but were bothered by men trying to hook up. Hmmm, not cool, guys. I’m not doing a deep dive into that one.
Perhaps modern dressing standards have declined because people are run ragged with too much to do? I don’t really think that’s true, I think people have become less enamoured with maintaining standards that were important in days gone by. Some of our club members who have dated cis men hear tales of cis women dressing very, very casually for dating. So, we crossdressers are stepping up to the plate, to fill in the good looks department! 🙂 Of course, we know that most MtF dressers are heterosexual, but that needn’t prevent a nice cross-dressed girl from going out for dinner and a dance with a nice gentleman.
We all admit that we spend serious coin on women’s clothing just to fuel our crossdressing obsession. In fact, I outspend on women’s clothing for Fatima by a wide, wide margin over my guy clothing. That’s probably not going to change. When people do notice us in public, it can be a kind of a rush and it does feel good. Alternatively, I have also noticed on the odd occasion another man, sitting stony-faced, staring at us crossdressers. We are getting noticed, but not in a good way. Best to laugh it off. It’s advisable to avoid confrontations at all costs, because your makeup can get smeared.
When I try on outfits for the benefit of the mirror, I try to strike different poses and also walk by in different ways, trying to make my female presentation better. If you are wearing black pantyhose and a short skirt (for example), try experimenting with your pose. Legs-together is usually better than legs-apart. Tilt the hips to the side, stick ’em out! If you are “wearing your hips” to get that optimal 70% hip-to-waist ratio, try emphasizing them. Put your hands on your thighs. Snap a few pics! There is nothing more un-alluring than a female waist to hip ratio of 98%! Only guys have a ratio like that.
At the local watering-hole we frequent (a CD/TG-friendly club), I have walked from our table over to the bar to get a drink, and the reaction can be quite stunning. If you are dressed nicely, people really will sit up and take notice. When I get to the bar it is great fun to strike a very feminine pose, legs together or one crooked behind the other, maybe a hand on one hip, or a hip thrust to one side. You can practice these moves and poses at home in front of the mirror, and use them when you are waiting for the barkeep to serve your drink.
I’ve said it before, but if you have nice legs – and lots of guys do – by all means show them off in pantyhose when you are en femme. Don’t be afraid of different colors, either. I have some in pink that look good, but I think black is my favourite. (Denier thickness is a subject for another day.) A nice short skirt allows more of the legs to be exposed too, this is why I keep my skirts pretty short. Also, a nice spandex skirt that is pretty form-fitting allows you to show off the derriere, if you are built with a nice one. Don’t hide it – flaunt it 🙂
Watching a woman (or crossdresser) walking with nice pantyhose-clad legs and a short skirt can be a very enjoyable experience, at least for us heterosexuals. Note that she will be taking shorter steps than a man, and possibly walking in a straight line, placing one foot partially in front of the other, causing the hips to sway a little. Crossdressers can do this too. Remember, shorter, quieter steps when you are en femme. Remember also, no lurching or manly steps, and no striding!
Lastly, nobody says that any crossdresser has to be appealing to the opposite sex (yes, that’s men, while you are en femme). If you want to just dress enough to fit in, that’s wonderful if it makes you feel confident. Some crossdressers do this. But I think many more want to be noticed in a good way, and there’s certainly no harm for anybody in that. With dressing standards as they are today, it’s pretty easy. While you are out and about, try to be proud of yourself, at least self-confident. Look others in the eye and flash a nice ladylike smile – it will go a long way. 🙂
Love,
Fatima
More Articles by Fatima Abrams-Cohen
- Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
- The Feminine Spectrum
- A Cross-Dressing Club
- Crossdressing Through the Ages
- Skirts, Dresses, and Purses
Latest posts by Fatima Abrams-Cohen (see all)
- Do You Like to be Noticed? - May 8, 2025
- Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell - May 3, 2025
- The Feminine Spectrum - April 13, 2025
- A Cross-Dressing Club - March 9, 2025
- Crossdressing Through the Ages - February 25, 2025
I’m going to try to draw a distinction between being noticed and being appreciated in my answer. When I first started going out in public I truly wanted to be invisible. That was because I was fearful of negative reactions and my own poor self confidence. As I’ve gotten more practice and more support from my wife in dressing and comportment I now find myself enjoying the thought of being appreciated for my look and effort behind it. On a recent trip out with my wife we were both wearing new dresses and shoes and looking our best. We received… Read more »
I’m a 52 year-old closeted CD and no, I don’t want to be noticed, perhaps just acknowledged and respected, but that’s it. Whatever I choose to wear is never because I want to attract a man, I dont like men. I just choose those things that make me feel more feminine according to my age. Though I would like to be more open about my true self with my social and family context, honestly I’m quite alright being in the closet, because it is something I do for me and only for me.
I must admit I do like the occasional compliment on a dress I’m wearing or, more often my shoes; go figure! Once I had a woman compliment me on my toned thighs. I mumbled something like, “well I do go to the gym quite often". Anyway, it is a guilty pleasure I sub-consciously encourage.
I myself always try to be low key when I cross dress. I know a lot of girls like the short tight skirts. I personally am more conservative when I dress. My dresses and skirts are knee length or longer. I will always wear a half slip or a full slip underneath my outfit.
Yes I do have pantyhose and tights. I find myself more often then not wearing a garter belt and stockings or a long leg girdle with garter tabs and stockings.
I think we all like to be admired I know I do and when I am dressed which is usually quite conservatively I still want to feel like I am an attractive sexy woman. This is what I think we all seek but the fear of the alternative to be seen as a cock in a frock sometimes holds us back. The difference is in how we present. I know when I am dressed nicely, make up and hair just right I have so much more confidence and this is when I have found that I do draw attention in… Read more »
Absolutely and Thx for your comment Gail.
I find being complimented by real women as opposed to a CD-er like Me,
Feels lovely and IS encouragement, when I’m in femme in public. It’s happened several times and by women I don’t know at all.
I revel in passing as just another woman, attracting no attention , but the feeling," FEELING pretty" and well turned out is addictive, I’ll admit.
I’m full time in femme now, no male clothes at all and never will turn back! Stephanie LIVES.