I have a dream. I’d like to see society move beyond gender roles and and become genderless. In such a world, you could go out in public wearing clothing which allowed you to be yourself, and people would respect you for being yourself.
In the animal world, there are examples of non-binary gender everywhere. I believe homo-sapiens used to be this way several thousand years ago, and there are still some places in the world where there are multiple or non-binary genders. It is only in the last few thousand years it seems, that rigid gender roles have been created. I don’t want to touch too much on why this happened, because it may have a lot to do with one or more of the three forbidden topics we try to avoid here at CDH.
There are four components which make up how an individual is perceived in our society.
First is biological sex. This is is what makes up your chromosomes. It is NOT binary. There are the predominant two: XX (Genetic Girls or GG’s), XY (Genetic Boys, or GB’s). In addition there are a whole alphabet soup of others: X0, XXX, XYY, XXXXX, XXY, XXXY [3].
Second is gender identity. Draw a line between male and female. Put the line anywhere in a 3 dimensional space. Imagine there are an infinite number of points on that line between male and female. Choose a point. This is the gender you perceive yourself to be. It is also not binary. You may feel 100% male, 100% female, somewhere in-between, or not even on the line.
Third is gender presentation. This is how you want the world to perceive you if you were to be yourself outside of gender roles. Some may wish to present in a way which agrees with your gender identity, and others may present in ways which differ from their gender identity. Again, there are an infinite number of points to choose from between masculine and feminine gender presentations.
Fourth is preference for a mate; so-called sexual preference. Again there are no invalid choices here, just an infinite number of possibilities.
Given all of the variance afforded above, each one of us is truly unique. We should be proud of that fact.
I am beginning to see something stirring. There has been a lot of talk recently about our community in the news, and in popular culture. I am hoping that my dream of a genderless society will become true someday, and that I’m still around when it does.
There is much work left to due to realize this dream. We need to enlighten the general populace that our community is made up of people which are just as important to society functioning normally as other members of society. We need to tell our children that it is OK for girls to play with trucks, and boys to play with dolls. We need to show that we are not just some obscure sect in society which can just be ignored. For too long, mainstream society has treated us like freaks, ridiculed us, or committed acts of violence against us. Maybe, just maybe, this is starting to change.
Well said Stephanie! Hopefully this will happen within our lifetimes but if not then then in my children’s lifetimes.
Cyn
Mainstream society is overrated Steph. I think if we are comfortable in our own skins society will see that, and will respond accordingly. All I know is that this site and people like you have helped me to accept who I am. Hopefully society at large will come to accept us too.
April
Thanks Stephanie, I think this is why Prince was so popular and accepted for presenting himself to the world as he wanted to be…accepted on basis of his musical talents, comfortable with himself as he was…and world be damned if he was a man dressing in feminine tailored styled clothes, and feminine makeup. Most would agree he was genuine and true to himself…and respected for it in spite of how odd he appeared to some. It was who he was. Most of his critics could not hold a candle to him while he was here as a musical genius, guitar… Read more »
That would be so nice
Stephanie,
I too share this dream. I would like to live my life and let others live their lives. I respect their feelings and choices whether I agree with them and want my feelings and choices to be respected. Perhaps, one day, I will be able to experience such a world.
MacKenzie
Thank you for such a thought provoking article. We will be accepted when people are willing to let go of any prejudices based on differences.
Yes , Stephanie what a wonderful world it would be !
Stacey s
It’s a wonderful dream however when we chose to live and think “outside the norm" then be prepared for unfair treatment. As much of a challenge as it is, it’s still worth it though, to feel happiness.
There’s still a lot of work to do to get there, but I’m beginning to see that it is changing.
Steph
gracias stephanie interesante opinion. Para ello es necesario cambiar el concepto hombre/mujer por el comcepto persona, y que veamos a los otros asi. y despues cambiar a una estetica no seleciva para hombre/ para mujer, y por ultimo eliminar el concepto de los roles sociales hombre/mujer.
“To do this, it is necessary to change the concept of man / woman by the individual concept, and to see others as such. And then change to a non-selective aesthetic for men / women, and finally eliminate the concept of social roles for men and women"
Thanks for the comment Isis!
Steph
Hopeful your dream will come true for all of us.