the customary code of polite behavior in society or among members of a particular profession or group.
a woman of superior social position
Etiquette: a tool to tell the difference between a woman and a lady. Everyone can try to be a woman, but not every woman is a lady. A lady is described as someone who is polite, well spoken and put together. Something we should all aspire to be.
In society, we are judged immediately by our appearance and presentation. You can be all put together, but the first words out of your mouth will tell a lot about who you are to others. It goes without saying that the use of common courtesy terms, Please, Thank You, You’re Welcome, etc…. timing, elocution and vocabulary are important factors in your presentation. If you speak like you are from the gutter, people will think you are from the gutter. A trait of a Classy Lady is to refrain from profanity and slang in conversation. Sure, there are situations where this may be acceptable among friends, Hockey Games, Cock Fights, etc., but in most conversation situations, it is not acceptable and tells others about who you are and you social status.
I once read that people with small minds talk about people. People with average minds talk about things, and people with great minds talk about events in conversation.
A Lady will refrain from talking about others; if you find yourself in a conversation heading that way, smile and nod or don’t respond to negative comments. Don’t stoop to that level; we are all here to lift each other and support each other not tear others down.
Don’t be the one that owns conversations. The one that goes on and on about themselves, not asking about anyone else or their lives, kids, or any other aspect of another’s life makes them look very insecure, definitely not confident and lady like.
Sometimes, we learn the most by being quiet and listening. Good communicators use their ears, so listen and concentrate on the conversation rather than hearing something and mentally preparing a response while the conversation goes elsewhere. Pay attention to what people are saying; this shows you are engaged in the conversation and shows respect.
In conversation, another thing Classy Ladies do is give compliments. Be sincere with your compliments, and don’t be afraid to accept them either. Just say “Thank You” and don’t fight it.
Back to being judged by presentation: Crossdress for Success! The minute you walk in a door, anywhere, you are being judged, no matter where you go. Dress appropriately for the situation you anticipate being at. You don’t wear a Ball Gown to the grocery store nor do you wear jeans to a funeral. If you are unsure how to dress for any given occasion, be it a wedding, court, or a business event, Google it! Be prepared, be neat, be put together, and arrive appropriately in style. Again, this reflects other peoples’ perception of you. If you are a hot mess all credibility is gone. Walk into anyplace like you own it with your head up, shoulders back, exuding confidence, and with a smile. If you slouch around like a victim, you may well end up as one. Walk with purpose, not just to shake your booty. It lets people know you mean business and you that won’t put up with any nonsense. Wear the appropriate footwear for the situation and be confident in your ability to walk in them. You wouldn’t wear pumps to play tennis nor do you want to be wobbling around in 6″ stilettos; it discredits your ability in your appearance, and you don’t want to twist an ankle.
Something else we need to touch on is Cell Phones. Put them away. One of the rudest things I can think of is for someone’s phone to ring during a conversation and they answer it to engage in a different conversation. It’s a no brainer to turn it off in Church, at a funeral, shows, etc. Show respect for who you are talking to at the time. If you get an unexpected call, put it to voicemail. If you expecting a call or text, let the other people know, and when it comes excuse yourself and take it privately. If you feel the compelling need to take a photo of your Nachos for Instagram, ask. Most people don’t mind if given the choice, but if you shove it down their throats, it’s disrespectful and definitely not something a Classy Lady does.
Show respect for other people’s time: Big point! Don’t be late. The easiest way to show disrespect for others, and to appear totally disrespectful, is to be late. If you tell someone you will be somewhere at a specific time, or RSVP to an event, endeavor to be on time. If you can’t make it on time for any reason, simply call the host or hostess and let them know. No in-depth explanation is necessary, just the facts. Whether the tardiness is due to traffic or whatever, don’t leave people hanging; it’s rude and diminishes your credibility as a classy lady.
Leaving is just as important as arriving. If an event has a specific time frame, respect it. Don’t be that last lingerer. Also, respect your host or hostess by keeping your goodbye brief as they have other guests to attend to. Say your thanks and go home! Of course sending a Thank You afterwards is nice, if appropriate.
To recap: Present yourself elegantly, say nice things, speak appropriately, dress nicely, put away your cell phone, and be on time. Strive to be a Classy Lady, not just a woman wanna be.