Like many of you, I have been crossdresssing in secrecy, hiding it for more than 35 years. Over those years, I bought lingerie, high heels, and dresses only to purge them again after my growing fear that my wife or kids would find out. Three years ago I stopped crossdressing, trying to block it once and for all, as it provided so much stress to keep it secret . . . Until last December.

A friend gave me a present and she had drawn the outline of my face on the gift wrap. Later she told me she had needed to tweak the image, as I looked like a woman at her first try. My heart jumped. I consciously knew she could not know my secret but hearing that my face outline looked feminine took my breath away. It was really hard to keep my cool at that moment. This has been a huge trigger.

I could not let go of the thought of dressing up again. I started to realize, after reading a lot, that dressing up was needed to support my feminine side, which I had been dismissing all of my life. I started dreaming of meeting my feminine side in a beautiful way. Until then I had only tried clothes when crossdressing, which felt great, but I had never tried a full makeover with makeup and a wig. Browsing the internet, I found a photo studio that does makeovers specifically for crossdressers with professional makeup and photography. The photos on their website were stunning and watching their videos, I felt the respect and care with which they treated their guests.

I must admit it. I have been very nervous about calling them and it took me a long time to really press the dial button, but I did and am so glad about it. The shoot was wonderful and emotional. I met three amazing women; Annett (the owner at crossdress-photoshoot), her photographer and her make up artist. They took the time to sit down to get to know me and make sure I felt at home and was as relaxed as possible. With them knowing about the purpose of my visit and being so kind and respectful, I decided to share my story. They were eager to see the dresses I had bought and together we picked a gorgeous one. We talked about my likes in makeup and hairstyles and I showed some pictures of women I find beautiful. Then the moment came to change into my dress. This moment was so exciting and scary. I had to present myself in dress, pantyhose and high heels to someone else for the first time in my life. With my heart racing, I came out of the dressing room. When I stepped out of the room I was overwhelmed by their compliments and kind words. This was such a relief.

I sat down and we started with makeup. The makeup artist gave me a lot of tips and told me about her favorite products and how to apply them. Halfway through makeup, when your face basically has become a blank canvas, we selected a lovely copper-colored wig. The fun part is they have 60 different wigs, so you can really pick your style. Then the makeup slowly changed my face to that of a woman. After finalizing the makeup and putting on the wig, I was looking at a woman in the mirror in front of me. For the first time in my life, I met Liv. This was such a magical and emotional moment. Liv was born. I will never forget it. The makeup was so nice and since I was already wearing my dress, I felt feminine. I felt so beautiful!

The photoshoot after that was a dream, they supported me with posing, capturing me in the most beautiful ways. All the time I felt respect, trust, and a loving energy from them. Never did I feel weird or ridiculed. I really was a beautiful woman, and I was amongst friends. It was so liberating to be able to talk about hair, makeup, dresses, high heels, emotions, and girly things. But most important, it was a magnificent way of acknowledging Liv. This shoot has been a life changer. Looking back I needed to see Liv in this way in order to understand she is a big part of me and that never ever again should I dismiss her. The shoot has taken me on a journey to get to love who I am.

Coming out in front of the camera might not have been the easiest route, but for me, it felt like the only way to meet Liv in all her grace and beauty. I felt like a beautiful woman and not someone who just dresses up in female clothing. More important I received help and support from women who care and understand what we are looking for. The shoot has been therapy for me and I wish every one of you girls could enjoy such a magical experience.

Love, Liv

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Liv

It was early 2017 when I started to accept my femme side. Liv is a big part of me and I am learning more about myself everyday. Respect, Trust, Growth and Love are my core values. I am here to build friendships, help others and find support in my journey.

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35 Comments
  1. Sara Marie Franklin 2 weeks ago

    And What a very beautiful woman was born. I still want that hair : ). So glad you put this story out Liv. It is great to hear who Liv was born. Don’t ever go back you are way to beautiful to every go back. Hugs and Kisses.

  2. Leonara 2 weeks ago

    Lovely lady…. Thank you for sharing

  3. Andrea Adlerberg 2 weeks ago

    Thank you for sharing Liv. Each encouraging story like this helps all of us on our life journey.

  4. Stephanie Rigoni 2 weeks ago

    Thank you Liv! That was a fun read. You are certainly a beautiful woman, outside AND inside. Being one of the first here to reach out and say hi when I joined last November, I’ve always enjoyed seeing you in chat and hearing about your journey. I had a similar experience a few years ago when a female friend who doesn’t know my secret replied to one of my comments with “you are such a woman!” She has no idea…

  5. Awesome Liv! You are such a lovely lady, as well as a beautiful soul. I know for me my own photoshoot last year was like a dream come true. I loved it so much I scheduled another for later this year.

    Hugs,
    April

  6. skippy1965(Cynthia) 2 weeks ago

    Liv,
    T’is a lovely article by a lovely woman. Thank goodness the rest of us didn’t have to wait 35 years to meet you! <3
    Cyn

  7. Gisela Claudine 2 weeks ago

    Thanks for your lovely article Liv. Congratulations for your courage. I admire it. I can tell from the reading it has been an amazing experience. I hope to be lucky enough to enjoy a similar adventure.
    Gisela

  8. Barb Encourt 2 weeks ago

    A beautiful story Liv.
    I wish there were a similar studio where I live.
    I engaged a professional photographer early in my serious CD life and she in one hour taught me so much about fem poise and comportment.
    She relocated and I have been looking for a photographer ever since.
    I recently engaged a beautician stylist who claims also to be a photographer so we shall soon see.

    Barb.

  9. Ashleigh 2 weeks ago

    Thanks for sharing. Yay you! Sounds like an amazing, life changing, experience.

  10. Bianca Everdene 2 weeks ago

    Thanks for sharing your wonderful journey Liv. Like previous comments I can only admire your courage taking that step, letting your feminine side flourish, literally letting Liv live.
    Love
    Bianca

  11. Rhonda Roe 2 weeks ago

    Love the article Liv. Thanks so much for sharing. Guess you never know what will be the trigger. So Happy you let the Pretty Woman in you shine.

    *Hugs*
    Rhonda

  12. Shannon Fox 2 weeks ago

    Great story I know of a makeover studio in London that does makeover for cross dresser and I would love to get done for myself

  13. Samantha Sang 2 weeks ago

    Liv, reading that made me feel giddy. You’re a beautiful gal and it’s wonderful to see how you brought her out and found something so valuable within all in one. Thanks!

  14. Gina Angelo 2 weeks ago

    Liv, thank you for writing this piece. I had the same experience, though not as well described as you, and I have often suggested to others here that they should try such transformations. I too met Gina for the first time, when I was spun around to see the mirror. It was like you, an experience that changed me and moved me to go further.

    you captured it all and thank you for letting me share in your day as well

    Gina

  15. Sarah Mack 2 weeks ago

    What a beautiful story Liv thank you so much for sharing it

  16. Joanna R. 2 weeks ago

    Liv,

    Such a beautiful story about a day in your life that changed your world. That feminine spirit is alive and thriving with in you. Allowing her to breathe and walk into the world is amazing. I am so honored to call you a friend and sister

    Best Wishes

    Joanna R.

  17. Hope Clark 2 weeks ago

    So fun and inspiring to hear your whole story, Liv! Continued courage and grace to you.

    Hope

  18. Emily 2 weeks ago

    Thanks so much for sharing your story. Like so many of us, I too live in the closet (30 years). I have accepted my feminine side many years ago, and gave up on trying not to dress. It’s a part of me/us and can’t be put aside. I experiment with makeup when I have the time to put it on and take it off, which isn’t often. I dress fully a few times a week, but I never go out per-se. Because it’s winter, I can wear a bra and breast forms with a nice shirt and have myself zipperd up and no one is the wiser. Its amazing to go out and about like this. I have recently started wearing a thong to work but it gets kind of dicey trying to put it on with my wife is sleeping. lol I don’t have the nerve to have my makeup done professionally, only in my dreams. I would if I had a few days off without my family home for awhile. I would want to stay enfemme for longer than just a few hours.

    • PaulaPlaytex 1 week ago

      EMILY…I WILL WEAR MY BRA 24/7 365 !!!

    • Ricki 2 weeks ago

      I too have dressed for years and always in the closet only a few years ago I tried to do makeup using u tube for advice and directions. I believe that I have become better at it at least I no longer look like a clown. I wish that I could get some personal help but in the small town where I live this would be impossible

  19. Lucinda Hawkns 2 weeks ago

    that was so lovely. glade you had a great time with the make over. i wish i could find a place in buffalo area or Niagara falls area to get a make over and pics and tips on applying make up. i would be amazed my self after the make over seeing a real female in the mirror and its me that i see dressed up and looking like a female. i also have a figure of a female, 28 waist thin build 110 lbs. face could use a little cover up and foundation , don’t know how to use them or apply. i would love to have a make over done by 2 real females that don’t mind me getting a make over and not be ridiculed about being dressed up as a female. having pics of me would be price less

  20. Steffany Harman 2 weeks ago

    Your very beautiful Liv, you go gurl.

  21. Ginger 2 weeks ago

    Great story Liz!

    I’ve dressed for MANY years but never in public. Not sure if its that I’d never pass or that I’d enjoy it too much.

    Gf knows and supports Ginger (my girl self). We’ve talked often about about going to a professional for makeup and photos but both our schedules are full.

    After reading your story I’ve decided to clear my calendar and get gussied up.

    Ginger

  22. Liv……..Wonderful story…..brought tears to my eyes. My heart sings for you girl!

    Lady Veronica

  23. sophie gurl 2 weeks ago

    stunningly beautiful article

  24. Stefanie Oosthuizen 2 weeks ago

    I wish I could do a photoshoot. Here in South Africa us girls are still taboo and so we keep to ourselves and live in secret. I am so envious of u girls in the USA and the UK. The only photos I get taken is when I set the self timer on my mobiles camera lol.

  25. PaulaPlaytex 2 weeks ago

    THE BRA IS THE ONE THING I NEED AND WANT TO WEAR !!! I’M A NATURAL 46B/C BRA WEARER. I WEAR MY BRA 24/7 365.

  26. Jan 2 weeks ago

    What beautiful story, Liv thank so much. Wish there were places like where you went around my area

  27. Sahi saheli 2 weeks ago

    Liv’s experience is an interesting and she lucky to have somebody make her dream of being feminine and I too myself cross dress when every body go to bed and spend few hours musing at my curves in fact I have natural breasts and 90 cm bra fits my body.I think Liv for sharing her experience. With a kiss and hug.t

    • PaulaPlaytex 1 week ago

      SAHI…I ALWAYS WEAR MY BRA and PANTIES UNDER MY NIGHTGOWN !!!

  28. Marianne 1 week ago

    Dear Liv!

    Please excuse me for not having replied earlier, but there has been a bit of turmoil in my life the last few weeks. I must however say that it was with great joy I read the full story of the birth of Liv for the first time. I have gotten certain pieces before, but not the whole picture, and I had no idea of your long history of secret crossdressing. I am so glad you took this chance to get to know yourself as it would have been an awful waste not being able to share your godgiven inner and outer beauty with us all. You my dear are a strong and beautiful woman. Be proud of that.

    Marianne

  29. Samantha Tully 1 week ago

    Liv,

    Your article is so well written. We all feel the power and magic of your experience. Also we are all looking for the right Beauty Salon to have our make over. We all get that this is a “game changer”.

    Huggs and Kisses,

    Samantha

  30. TangaCharles Tanga 1 week ago

    Very happy for you.

  31. Sahi saheli 1 week ago

    Can l have somebody to share a few moments of our experience wearing our femme dress and exchange hugs and kisses. And forget this world where people detest our being so and redicule us.Please make friends with me I am honest and true CD and never leave CDH a safe zone. I desire to a lasting friendships and a personal meeting and feel the warmth.Thanks

  32. Jenna 5 days ago

    Can you send me a private message about the name of the company that you used to have a photo shoot? Thank you!

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