Like many of you, I have been crossdresssing in secrecy, hiding it for more than 35 years. Over those years, I bought lingerie, high heels, and dresses only to purge them again after my growing fear that my wife or kids would find out. Three years ago I stopped crossdressing, trying to block it once and for all, as it provided so much stress to keep it secret . . . Until last December.

A friend gave me a present and she had drawn the outline of my face on the gift wrap. Later she told me she had needed to tweak the image, as I looked like a woman at her first try. My heart jumped. I consciously knew she could not know my secret but hearing that my face outline looked feminine took my breath away. It was really hard to keep my cool at that moment. This has been a huge trigger.

I could not let go of the thought of dressing up again. I started to realize, after reading a lot, that dressing up was needed to support my feminine side, which I had been dismissing all of my life. I started dreaming of meeting my feminine side in a beautiful way. Until then I had only tried clothes when crossdressing, which felt great, but I had never tried a full makeover with makeup and a wig. Browsing the internet, I found a photo studio that does makeovers specifically for crossdressers with professional makeup and photography. The photos on their website were stunning and watching their videos, I felt the respect and care with which they treated their guests.

I must admit it. I have been very nervous about calling them and it took me a long time to really press the dial button, but I did and am so glad about it. The shoot was wonderful and emotional. I met three amazing women; Annett (the owner at crossdress-photoshoot), her photographer and her make up artist. They took the time to sit down to get to know me and make sure I felt at home and was as relaxed as possible. With them knowing about the purpose of my visit and being so kind and respectful, I decided to share my story. They were eager to see the dresses I had bought and together we picked a gorgeous one. We talked about my likes in makeup and hairstyles and I showed some pictures of women I find beautiful. Then the moment came to change into my dress. This moment was so exciting and scary. I had to present myself in dress, pantyhose and high heels to someone else for the first time in my life. With my heart racing, I came out of the dressing room. When I stepped out of the room I was overwhelmed by their compliments and kind words. This was such a relief.

I sat down and we started with makeup. The makeup artist gave me a lot of tips and told me about her favorite products and how to apply them. Halfway through makeup, when your face basically has become a blank canvas, we selected a lovely copper-colored wig. The fun part is they have 60 different wigs, so you can really pick your style. Then the makeup slowly changed my face to that of a woman. After finalizing the makeup and putting on the wig, I was looking at a woman in the mirror in front of me. For the first time in my life, I met Liv. This was such a magical and emotional moment. Liv was born. I will never forget it. The makeup was so nice and since I was already wearing my dress, I felt feminine. I felt so beautiful!

The photoshoot after that was a dream, they supported me with posing, capturing me in the most beautiful ways. All the time I felt respect, trust, and a loving energy from them. Never did I feel weird or ridiculed. I really was a beautiful woman, and I was amongst friends. It was so liberating to be able to talk about hair, makeup, dresses, high heels, emotions, and girly things. But most important, it was a magnificent way of acknowledging Liv. This shoot has been a life changer. Looking back I needed to see Liv in this way in order to understand she is a big part of me and that never ever again should I dismiss her. The shoot has taken me on a journey to get to love who I am.

Coming out in front of the camera might not have been the easiest route, but for me, it felt like the only way to meet Liv in all her grace and beauty. I felt like a beautiful woman and not someone who just dresses up in female clothing. More important I received help and support from women who care and understand what we are looking for. The shoot has been therapy for me and I wish every one of you girls could enjoy such a magical experience.

Love, Liv

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Liv

It was early 2017 when I started to accept my femme side. Liv is a big part of me and I am learning more about myself everyday. Respect, Trust, Learning and Love are my core values. I am here to build friendships, help others and find support in my journey.

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39 Comments
  1. Jennifer Acevedo 2 months ago

    Great story Liv brought back so many memories and emotions from my first makeover. I highly recommend this to any sister it’s the ultimate experience.

  2. kaydee 2 months ago

    You truly are a gorgeous looking woman and a truly wonderful person, I feel very privileged to have met you huggs kate.

  3. Kendra Carter 3 months ago

    Hi April! I really enjoy the way you write. Encouraging, friendly and caring all come across so nicely in your words. I read you had a photo session done and enjoyed it so much you’re going to have another. If I may, and you don’t mind, would you please tell me about the experience with the photo session as I have more than a passing interest in photography. As for myself, I’m still a closet cross dresser and am finding that since joining this site I’m working on an outfit to make my debut out in the world! (Nervous even thinking about it but …! )

  4. CHARLES Davies 3 months ago

    Hi liv i loved reading your story it was amazing.i to have been a cdx for over 3o yrs i now find the urge to dress all the time now.i love my fem side now want to go out dressed as a girl but your story will help me on my journey lol to you liv xx

  5. Jordan Alana 3 months ago

    Hello 🙂

    I would also love to know the name of this company if I may! I’d love to get some professional pictures taken.

    Thanks!
    Jordan

    • Author
      Liv 3 months ago

      Jenna, Jordan,
      You can find the place online at www. crossdress-photoshoot (dot) com

      They also have a youtube channel showing makeovers and shoots.

      In the places tab here onCDH you can find other makeover studios.

      hugs, Liv

  6. Jenna 3 months ago

    Can you send me a private message about the name of the company that you used to have a photo shoot? Thank you!

  7. Sahi saheli 3 months ago

    Can l have somebody to share a few moments of our experience wearing our femme dress and exchange hugs and kisses. And forget this world where people detest our being so and redicule us.Please make friends with me I am honest and true CD and never leave CDH a safe zone. I desire to a lasting friendships and a personal meeting and feel the warmth.Thanks

  8. TangaCharles Tanga 3 months ago

    Very happy for you.

  9. Samantha Tully 3 months ago

    Liv,

    Your article is so well written. We all feel the power and magic of your experience. Also we are all looking for the right Beauty Salon to have our make over. We all get that this is a “game changer”.

    Huggs and Kisses,

    Samantha

  10. Marianne 3 months ago

    Dear Liv!

    Please excuse me for not having replied earlier, but there has been a bit of turmoil in my life the last few weeks. I must however say that it was with great joy I read the full story of the birth of Liv for the first time. I have gotten certain pieces before, but not the whole picture, and I had no idea of your long history of secret crossdressing. I am so glad you took this chance to get to know yourself as it would have been an awful waste not being able to share your godgiven inner and outer beauty with us all. You my dear are a strong and beautiful woman. Be proud of that.

    Marianne

  11. Sahi saheli 4 months ago

    Liv’s experience is an interesting and she lucky to have somebody make her dream of being feminine and I too myself cross dress when every body go to bed and spend few hours musing at my curves in fact I have natural breasts and 90 cm bra fits my body.I think Liv for sharing her experience. With a kiss and hug.t

  12. Jan 4 months ago

    What beautiful story, Liv thank so much. Wish there were places like where you went around my area

  13. Stefanie Oosthuizen 4 months ago

    I wish I could do a photoshoot. Here in South Africa us girls are still taboo and so we keep to ourselves and live in secret. I am so envious of u girls in the USA and the UK. The only photos I get taken is when I set the self timer on my mobiles camera lol.

  14. Millie Tant 4 months ago

    stunningly beautiful article

  15. Liv……..Wonderful story…..brought tears to my eyes. My heart sings for you girl!

    Lady Veronica

  16. Ginger 4 months ago

    Great story Liz!

    I’ve dressed for MANY years but never in public. Not sure if its that I’d never pass or that I’d enjoy it too much.

    Gf knows and supports Ginger (my girl self). We’ve talked often about about going to a professional for makeup and photos but both our schedules are full.

    After reading your story I’ve decided to clear my calendar and get gussied up.

    Ginger

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