Hi there everyone. I know I haven’t been really active on the site, but I had to share this experience with you all.
I’ve kept my dressing a secret from friends and family my entire life out of fear of their rejection and being cast aside. Because of this, although I am bisexual and have had my share of chances, I’ve never shared my fondness for dressing with anyone other than online. I’ve never gone out in public fully dressed, although I’ve worn my femme clothing under my drab male clothing at times. I’m about to turn 62 now and for the past several months I’ve been struggling with the need to open myself up and share this side of me, so about a month ago I decided to call and try to talk to my youngest sister. I started at the beginning, telling her about my first time dressing as a girl for Halloween when we were younger and an incident that happened a little after that. She listened for a minute and casually changed the subject, so I never really got to say anything more before we said goodbye and hung up. I felt more nervous and frustrated than I’ve ever been, wondering if she just didn’t want to hear it, or worse yet, that she was disgusted with me; I haven’t heard from her since.
I still felt the need to speak with someone in my family, so I started paying closer attention to things family members would post on FB to see who I thought would be easy to talk to. A week ago, I decided to reach out to a cousin who has been actively supporting and documenting the cause of racial justice. I contacted her and asked if she could call me sometime when she had at least an hour free to talk and was thrilled when she called later that evening. I told her I had something I needed to share with her and I hoped it would not affect what she thought of me. She “You have nothing to fear here, I love you and always would no matter what it is, so just take your time and tell me.” I started crying a bit and she noticed, saying “Look cuz, don’t you cry and get me started too, I love you too much to hear you hurting like this. Take a deep breath and take your time, we’ve got all night to talk.” And so we did, I told her everything from how it all started to how I have come to peace with both my male and female sides and how much I enjoy them both. She told me that she was honored and proud that she was the one I chose to tell, and that she still loved me very much and promised that she would not break my confidence. Not only that, we began making plans for me to visit, she wants to help me learn how to apply makeup and help me get comfortable enough to take me out for a ‘girl’s night’ out. I’m super nervous, but at the same time I’m looking really forward to being my female self in public for the first time. I could not have been blessed with a better outcome.
Thanks for taking the time to read my personal article.
Now please take a few moments to send in either a response to my article or an answer to one or more of the questions I’ve posed to you below:
- Have you ever shared your secretly held thrill of cross dressing with one or more of your immediate or extended family members and if so, how did the initial sharing of that news with a family member go? Was the family member accepting and supportive or just the opposite?
- Have you ever shared your thrill of cross dressing with anyone outside your immediate or extended family and how did your sharing of your news with that person or people go?
- How long did you keep the secret of your thrill of cross dressing all to yourself before you let the first person know about your cross dressing or are you still staying totally in the proverbial cross dressing closet with plans of soon coming out of that closet?