Summer of June 2017 – I am back in the thick of it again – working in a kitchen and finding it harder this time around. Mostly nine hour days or more and we are not even in the peak season yet!
But it’s not only the hours that are getting to me. I won’t go into too much detail but I am having to take on a little more responsibility than I would like to, in order that the sessions are in control and not any more stressful than need be. The last shift was a straight 7.5 hours without a break.
However, I am grateful to be earning extra money though the summer and have found myself shopping for new clothes from a trusted UK online store and ebay. Partly to compensate myself for working as a man and giving up my life as Sophie during those working days. I am just about coping with the shift sideways with my life but have tearful moments in private when I am alone in my room at work. I have bought some new summer outfits with the proceeds of my sweat and toil, including some pretty new shoes. Shopping does help to balance things out to a degree. I took my first picture where I have no makeup on at all, but it was a lovely sunny day and quite hot in the garden. I see that as progress and being more confident in who I am, not needing the makeup to make me Sophie.
I am back to work this evening and I know it will be a busy night. I stay in a room above the restaurant while working and am able to take my adorable cat Bertie along with me too. It’s tough for him as he doesn’t get to go in a garden, and sulks a little, plus he doesn’t eat as well. But losing a little weight would not be an issue as he is a very big cat.
Next Tuesday I (Sophie) will be visiting my good friend Kenny again and will try to spend much of the day at his restaurant. I am not sure how the day will go as I have offered to either help in the kitchen or waitress if needed. But it will just be nice to meet, and have a good chat again so I don’t mind if I do nothing – giggle. He has already been a sweetie and talked me through a tearful day when things just got too much for me when I started working again. It’s so good to have a friend who understands where I am in my life right now.
Sadly, my music has pretty much ground to a halt. But I decided to take my acoustic guitar with me this time to practice the songs I have written. It will also help me unwind when I am not too tired to play it. I have had more ideas for songs but have not found the time to lose myself in that right now. I have been offered the chance to play in the restaurant, but to be honest, after working I don’t have the energy and passion to give to my songs in the way that I know they need.
I am happy to finish on very positive and uplifting note. The sale of my house looks promising, yesterday I had the first viewing of the year, by a young French couple with two sweet and beautiful blonde children. They appeared to be quite taken with the property and have a grandmother who would live in the small two bedroom rental cottage attached to the house if they choose to buy it. So it ticks many boxes for them. They are the first local French people to view the property since it has been for sale and this is very encouraging. I am trying very hard not to build up my hopes too much but I have a very good feeling about this and really hope I am right. Selling my house has never been such a vital key, but will be the start of so many new things in my life. When I finish work after the summer I start to live as Sophie permanently!
Update: September – My house was sold a month ago and I am enduring the stress of trying to find another house. Interesting things have begun to happen over the past week and I am going to look at a house in two days time. I like it and it’s in a nice location with a beautiful view. I am trying not to get my hopes up too much, but would be so happy to buy it right now. There will most certainly be a next article, whichever way things turn out in a couple of days. Living as Sophie is on hold until I move. There are reasons for this decision, which I will explain in the next account of things – stayed tuned…