I’m a crossdresser, and have been most of my life, in one form or another. Now, as I’m older and a widower, I can make up for all those times I missed. I now dress freely around the house. I’m learning to use make-up and generally all those things that I’ve missed out on. I’m having some success, however, I realize that I’ll never pass as a woman. For me, that’s no big deal, I just enjoy being myself.
I recently made friends with a young transitioning woman and her wife, and had a couple nice visits. They invited me to a local club that is open to everyone regardless of how you present. The club hosts a weekly drag show with local and regional talent. I decided to go this past week completely dressed for the first time. I spent most of the early evening getting ready by choosing my outfit, checking to see my wig was just right, and then getting dressed. I decided to go casual in jeans, a black t-shirt top that is trimmed in gold thread, and my new two-inch heel pumps. Once I was dressed, I even took the time to paint my nails a nice bright red.
Once all together I headed for the club. I was excited about being out and not at all nervous. I was even able to drive in my heels.
I arrived at the club about a half hour before the show was to start. I ordered a drink and found an empty table near the floor. A couple people said hi but didn’t start a conversation.
The show started and the first couple performers were very good. I started to get onto the spirit of things really enjoying myself.
After a bit and not wanting lot of alcohol in me, I got a bottle of water in between acts. One of the performers was there waiting to go on and I struck up a conversation with her. I told her that she really looked great and she said I did too. I told her this was my first time out as Ragina and she congratulated me and gave me a big hug.
After each performer did their number, they got to choose a person from the crowd to have a drink with them. When the dancer I was talking to finished her dance, she walked over to me, took me by the hand, and led me to the floor in front of the crowd. She introduced me and told everyone that this was my first time out. Everyone cheered and I even took a bow just for the fun of it. Then we went to get our drink and I got another hug. I can say I never felt more alive than I did that night!
After my introduction to the audience, I was now the new girl who everyone wanted to talk to.  I got a chance to make a few new friends and talked to many more. I stayed for the second show not wanting the night to be over so quickly.
All too soon, however, it was over. I stayed around a bit longer talking to new friends as well as more of the performers. I thanked them all for making my first time out so special. I drove home riding on a cloud of joy promising myself to make this a regular part of my life going forward.
Thank you girls for taking the time to read my article and I hope your first time out in a public setting like this club I went to was as exciting as my first time out in public!
Sincerely, Ragina
My first time out was only noteworthy because it was my first time! My close female friend had a hard time accepting me as Haley, and I could tell she was not comfortable…and was judging me. Other trips out have been fun, going to Target, Panera for coffee, and going out clubbing in downtown St Pete with my girlfriend Special K was a blast! I love the LGBTQ community and never felt as accepted and welcomed as I did that night!
Hi Haley Anne and thank you for the kind comments. Just wanted to say that I think you look fantastic and you and your friend seem to be having fun. I agree that the LGBTQ community is much more accepting of crossdressers as a group. Some hardliners don’t feel that we are truly part of LGBTQ culture, but as a rule, most are very welcoming to us. Enjoy being who you are, be bold and confident, and most of all, have a blast. Hugs to you, Ragina
Ragina, that was a really uplifting story and it sounds like you were the life of the bar that evening. I am sure your new found freedom is as equally exciting. I am not quite there yet and maybe that is the sort of place I should start. My wife is very encouraging so I know I would have a great wing girl but I know I will never be able to pass and I don’t want to be just a guy in a dress. I feel more and more compelled to go out enfemme and skate the edge everyday.… Read more »
Thank you for the nice comments, Danika, and I agree that the type of club i went to is a great starting point, simply because no one really worries about it. There are several strait couples as well as singles that show up at our club and they are just as welcome as anyone else. I’m a lot like you seem to be, not really able to pass all that well, but there it doesn’t matter. Everyone is there to be who they are, and its all one grand family. Thanks again for the comments. Hugs, Ragina
Thank you Ragina for posting your story. I actually teared up reading it. I know you have helped a lot of other girls by telling your story. I first went out over 40 years ago. I remember it like it was yesterday. I am so glad you had such a great time.
Huggs Terri
Terri, thanks for the kind comments and I take it as a compliment that you became so emotional over the story. I still get so happy remembering that night. Even now, when I go back to the club people are happy to see me. I get hugs and compliments on how I look. I told some friends thereabouts the story here and they took the time to read it and was texted back how proud they are of me and how happy it made them that they were a part of that night for me. Its kind of overwhelming. Thanks… Read more »
Hi Ragina. Wonderful and inspiring story. So happy to read of your acceptance and thrill filled night. We all should be so lucky to have an experience like that. I’ve been out in public but was not even close to your debut. Thanks for sharing with us girls.
Awesome story! So uplifting and relatable too. I imagine my first time on a proper outing to be something just like that. Gives one hope!!! Kisses,
Brooke
Oh I am soooo jealous! What an amzing experience that must have been!
Hopefully my chance to venture out for an evening comes in April when a local group of girls hosts a weekend in a city close by…
Thanks so much for sharing your evening with us Ragina, I do hope it is only the beginning of many!
Dee xo
What a fantastic story! So glad you had such a positive experience being out, thank you for sharing! x
Hi Regina,
Thanks for sharing your story. It fills me with encouragement to make that first step.
As I live in rural Ireland it would be a long drive for me to go to a club like that in Dublin.
I gaining confidence every day and hope to take the plunge like you soon. Thanks again for sharing.
Geraldine
How do you convince someone how great it is to GO OUT? From reading these comments and many others it is obvious that there is a lot of fear. Maybe you are not passable but that does not preclude going to a gay bar where every one expects you to be TG. Do that with no fear and then take it from there as thing develop
Emily, thanks for the kind words. Yes, things have exploded for me since that night. I have so many new friends in the local LGBTQ community. I’m invited to other events where our local drag performers are appearing. This past Sunday there was a benefit drag brunch and a friend got me a ticket to be there. Even though I had to go in guy mode I was recieved in open arms. People just don’t understand that those in the LGBTQ community just want acceptance of who we all are, nothing more. I agree that its a scary thing to… Read more »
I actually thought of another song (December, 1963) when I read your article, but I found this looking for it.
Thank you Sarah so much for that link, it was awesome!
Congratulations on taking such a big step, I remember my first night out at a local venue called DT’s there were a few other ladies I had only ever met on FB but when I arrived they were immediately welcoming and made my night a lot of fun. I’ve had a few more nights out since then, not nearly often enough but I do love it when I get the chance to be out and about meeting people and living my life