I’ve been dressing up at home a lot lately. At home… alone. Safe in the closet as usual. Looking in the mirror, I thought about how many times it’s been this way, always playing it safe. I’d had enough, it was time. Time to go out.
Certainly, the doubts arose, and I second-guessed myself, just as I had a hundred times before. No. I’m doing it. What exactly am I afraid of? You’ll be discovered! So what? Nobody would recognise me anyway. People will stare! Let them. Might run into trouble! And?
It was a beautiful, sunny morning on a national holiday, meaning that fewer people were around. If ever I’m going to do this, now was the perfect opportunity, so I did.
I don’t have a car, so I planned it out with minimum pitfalls. I’d wear the blouse and undergarments under regular clothes. The store wig, skirt, jacket, and shoes I’d keep in the top box of the motorbike. Knowing the university campus well, I found a quiet corner to park and change with some degree of privacy.
The sunglasses were more to hide behind than eye protection. I set off.
The first group of people I passed were morning joggers, and they paid no attention which somehow boosted my faltering confidence. I smiled. I was aware of my walking gait and tried to consistently take smaller steps and keep my arms in. So far so good.
It really was a nice morning…
Ahead in the distance, another group of joggers was approaching, so I crossed the road and started taking selfies. This was more to distract my nerves by giving me something to do rather than think about being seen. They looked at me and the selfie hack worked… I simply didn’t care. That’s when I learned to stop worrying and enjoy being out… quite an exhilarating moment… Sonja was free.
I walked about for over an hour, enjoying the freedom away from my years of only crossdressing at home in private. Although I knew that I wasn’t that passable, it didn’t matter anymore. After all, they were looks from complete strangers, none of whom said anything to me.
I removed the sunglasses.
I sat awhile and enjoyed the morning chorus from the birds. I ventured to make eye contact with a smile at those who passed by, no longer looking away or hiding behind plastic lenses. One person smiled back, and I knew I was going to be ok. In fact, I started to feel proud of myself. After all this time, I was out in the world, and I had conquered that internal mountain.
The sun was getting hot, so I headed back to my parking spot to change back.
A successful first walk in public and one very happy crossdresser.
Since that time has passed, not only do I feel proud for finally stepping out, but I’m looking forward to doing it again. The next time, I will definitely spend more time applying my makeup. I probably won’t be shaving my legs so again, the tights might do the trick. As for the formal look? Well, there’s a summer floral dress that deserves to be seen out and about, and I love wearing it. A light cardigan to cover up the muscular arms and tattoos. It’s lovely how it’s all coming together.
If there were any negative parts to this experience, it was the small blister I received from wearing the low-heeled shoes. And absolutely nothing else…
Thank you for reading.