Interesting thoughts to ponder here, Harietta.
I was a lonely nerd growing up, sucked at sports, sensitive, cried easily, often bullied and called a sissy many times. Pretty much the opposite of macho, I suppose. Oh, yeah – and I was painfully shy, especially around girls. I can’t say that I was overly girly acting or anything like that, just a skinny nerdy kid that did discover the beautiful feeling of wearing girls clothes at a young age when I tried on my mom’s and sisters’ stuff.
I joined the Army a few months after high school when I couldn’t find a decent job and my mom and I weren’t getting along particularly well. Had to learn to be a bit macho to survive in that environment, but I guess that came more easily than I thought it would (testosterone at high levels at 18?). Always kept my crossdressing secret throughout my life and I am pretty certain that most people that know me would absolutely freak out if they knew I liked to wear women’s clothes, so I guess I don’t have any trouble appearing “manly”. That said, I don’t like that side of me sometimes. I prefer my softer side and I am just glad that I have this avenue to help keep the male side from getting overly strong influence over my total persona.