Reply To: Hello… life is crazy

[Teralynn Loving]

Hi Kellie, Teralynn again. Consider this my more detailed welcoming post. By now you have have received a lot of wonderful welcoming posts from our fantastic members! You might even be wondering why so many crossdressing people would reach out to help me when I am the wife of a crossdresser? The simple answer is crossdressers are people to! Many of us have experienced a lot of the feelings that you are having right now and we know how it can hurt! The best advice for support is to join the support group for significant others and Stephanie Flowers has already provided a link to the group. I strongly recommend you join them! As for why he won’t sit down and discuss his crossdressing with you, there could be several possible reasons but until you actually get him to sit down and discuss this honestly with you all the why’s will never be answered. I understand that you have children. They can pick up on negative energy in their home! They can sense when things are not well between mom & dad. As long as this situation exists, there is little you can do to shield them from their perceptions!  Finally I believe you mentioned that your husband gets angry at times and confronting him about something he does not want to discuss with you might prove dangerous! Anything more than gentle persuasion might trigger a response that would extremely unfortunate. At the first sign that he is acting  more like a caged animal with rabies rather than a rational husband willing to talk you will need to back away. I am sure the ladies in the support group will provide you with some excellent ideas also, but remember no one knows your situation better than you do. I am aware of a few more methods that could coax a spouse to talk about a delicate subject like their crossdressing, but I am not trying to write a book here, just welcome you to CDH and give you a few things to consider! If, after getting some ideas from the support group and trying them you still cannot get him to discuss things with you, send me a private message and type the word help in the subject line and I will be quick to respond. I do hope you get him to talk to you about this, because no one should have to live in a toxic relationship and this could quickly devolve into that! – Blessings from Teralynn