Reply To: My troubles in a conservative town

[Monica]

Wow, Laura, thank you this is something different to read now, and as I am reading some of it, already was an Idea in my head, to go somewhere where there are gay friendly places, I know that I’m attracted to both male and female… Yet somehow there is a burning desire for me to be woman, if only once, then be it once
But I want to try it, not for one day, but to be a woman for a period, to see if that is really me, or if that is just something in my sexual desires, even tho I have to say for now I don’t think it’s an sexual desire, rather yet something I really need to experience, so that is why I finally choose to seek advice here, to listen to someone who has already undergo some of this process, to give me some directions or anything of that type so that I can try to focus on something, that would give me some straight answers
For now I have to be really honest, I really love the idea of me being the more fragile human version, no offence to anyone, but I really have a burning desire to be loved like a woman, and be a woman, again maybe for a longer period, or full transition, this is yet quiet unsure for me
Also being a bit scared, and in an unfriendly town is hard on my decision making, also I don’t want to  be rash, and just rush into something, and maybe do something really stupid in the process…
I already explained how when I was younger (now 25, and I’m talking at an age of 14-15) of how I wanted to be the woman, and somehow always felt a bit more emotional, fragile, easy to hurt, had many girl-friends yet little girlfriends (as in an relationship)
I even sometimes wanted to say how I wanted to dress up, and do a full makeup, wear feminine stuff etc. but never did, until this point that I decided that I want to do it, now for real
Thank you so much for your reply, and I’m sorry for a big read, and if you read it all the way down, I have to say I love you for this, and thank you so much for everything and anything you can do for me in this confusing time of mine