Oh I’m so sorry this went badly hon. I know how much courage it took for you to come out to your wife. It is obvious you are in so much pain right now, and your wife too. I agree with the other girls about stepping back a bit and getting counseling if she is willing.
I know you probably want to throw the fem thing out of the window, but as I know, this urge to be your feminine self does not go away.
We are here for you dear.