You did the right thing by trying to not keep secrets from your wife, and it’s not your fault that things went so badly. And please know that there is nothing either illegal or shameful about being a CD; the “problem” is with your wife’s reaction to the news, and hopefully, she will see that she over-reacted.
My own wife of 56 years has told me that she thinks it’s wrong for men to wear dresses; but she loves me and puts up with my actions. And I honor her by avoiding dresses in favor of skirts or ladies’ slacks. Talk to your wife when you can, and try to make her see that a piece of fabric is not sufficient reason to ruin a relationship.