As mentioned here CD was much more of a fetish at a younger age. It started very young. My first ejaculation ever was while CD in my mothers lingerie at about age 11 maybe. I can still remember it.
For some periods of my life usually when busy I wasnt CDing at all. But it definitely came back stronger than ever. In my late 40s I have just decided to embrace it.
I am married. I do value the relationship. We have raised a step-daughter together for a lot of years. Most of our time and effort are put into her. Raising her is very much a shared goal that takes 90% of our time. My wife and I work in different cities about 2 hours away.
CDing currently is more of a stress relief and a sense of peacefulness. It is for sure something very deeply seated in my psyche. I don’t think it is a choice. It is not something that goes away. I started very young and it has never changed.
I live in Asia and am very attracted to ladyboys. They are almost always very open to a CDing partner. There are not words for how strong my attraction to ladyboys is. In my 40s it is definitely my primary sexual desire. There is an emotional need met that comes from a ladyboy that I can’t find any other place. The desire is like a tsunami of fire. I get a sense of serenity in the time I have had with some ladyboys.
Balancing raising a step-daughter, marriage to my wife and a little bit of time with a ladyboy is a delicate balance. My wife is Asian so she is pretty ok with the DADT mentality.
We all do the best we can with the cards we have been dealt. My step-daughter is super successful. I derive a great deal of self worth from this. My marriage like all is not easy. I am looking for a long term relationship with the right ladyboy. I havent found the right one yet.