Several of the ladies here have already expressed most of my feelings in their posts. I will keep my answer relatively simple: none of these boxes works for me.
Box#4: Stay male, keep crossdressing and expressing your feminine side, confidently come out of your closet, and finally gain acceptance.
This was my original answer back in June. I just came back to it and answered number one. I came out to my wife a few days ago and everything is going really badly. Much worse than I had imagined it might have. I love my wife and am hating myself right now because I am very worried that I may have ruined our lives as we’ve known them.
I am just heartbroken and really hope I can once again be the man she says she doesn’t see now. I’m having a difficult time trying to convince her that I am still the SAME MAN she married, that her knowing this hasn’t made me any different, but she just keeps saying that she keeps thinking about me dressed like a woman and it freaks her out. She also said had I told her before we married, she wouldn’t have married me.
The thing is, she still says that she never had anyone that she ever loved as much. Our life together was great before. Hoping that somehow it will be again. But for that to even be possible, it appears right now that I’m going to have to figure out how to just be the full time man again and I know it’s going to be really hard to do. I don’t foresee her ever accepting that I have a second femme self.
I am preparing myself for the possibility that I may never be able to be Tricia again, because my wife and marriage matter much more to me than anything.
I hurt so much…