You should not doubt your decision to talk to your wife despite this painful outcome. I wish I had the courage you did, it says something about the strength of your relationship and love for your wife. My now ex-wife discovered a dress in my office closet and essentially kicked me out of the house. It took several days until she would even discuss it and then we spent months in counseling. We did not have a good marriage, we had stayed together for the kids and in hind sight I think that’s why I never had the guts to tell her. No one likes a secret being kept from them, and especially not someone who loves you deeply, so this may not sound comforting but I think you need to separate her reaction to the dressing itself from her reaction to you keeping something hidden for so long. You’ve gotten lots of good advice here on how to proceed – you are on the right path so don’t feel shame or guilt (easy to say, I know) – take care of yourself while you give her space, remind yourself of all the reasons you love each other and know you still did the right thing in telling her.