Her biggest fear is most likely what does this mean to her & her future. It will take time to process how she feels about you with a new extra layer. I was afraid of more surprises so I wanted all the info then I went into self protection mode. We talked on a more vulnerable level than ever before & I felt more loved than ever before. I had longed for a deeper connection for quite some time. Don’t think she hasn’t felt you pulling away during your discovery of your true self.
In my opinion A marriage lacking in honesty is not worth having.
You deserve better than living in hiding, maybe she deserves your commitment to be a trustworthy spouse.
it probably won’t go smoothly but forward movement is better than limbo.. good luck to you both.