#381751
Holly G
Participant
Registered On: August 25, 2015
Topics: 12
Replies: 121
Has thanked: 53 times
Been thanked: 150 times

Hi Laura, this is a great question and one my wife asks me constantly!  The problem we both always come back to is that Holly has never had true freedom to really see what I would do. Looking back, over the past 7 years, I went from very infrequent, but always wanting, to buying my own clothes, to going out for that lonely night walk hoping no one would see me, to going to a CVS while dressed, to finally getting up the confidence (although I was TERRIFIED!!!) to go to a VERY crowded mall dressed!! All experiences kept reinforcing my desires because they were all wonderful experiences. So over the years I’ve kept upping the ante and loving it! So…back to the present…where am I going to be satisfied??  I’ve tried for a couple years now to dig deep and answer this question. I keep answering with I would not ever transition, but again, the ONLY person in my life that knows that I dress is my wife, and she hasn’t ever seen Holly and doesn’t even know her name!  So again…IF Holly ever had full freedom to do as you described…decide how I wanted to present that day and just do it without concern of others thoughts, I’m not sure how often I’d be Holly or my male self.  And if I was Holly more often than not, would that turn into other thoughts?  It’s the biggest what if question we all face!

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