“I’ve been dealing with guilt with cross dressing”
That is a hauntingly familiar statement. Many of us have been there… but now we are here. My experience is, your urge to cross dress will NOT go away. Mine NEVER has & each time it returns (or I give in because it has never really gone away, it is always there just below the surface) it has a greater urgency. When I last tried to deny Mary Ann I purged two closets full. I thought that would be the end. Nope.
When I opened up Pandora’s Box this last time the Pink Fog was so thick that I knew Mary Ann was here to stay for better or worse. She is a part of me, she IS me. I am much more at ease in knowing and accepting her now. My S.O. does not know yet and I am aware there could/will be repercussions when I tell her. But I’ve tried to deny who I was for too long and was VERY unhappy for the better part of two decades because of it. No more. I am no spring chicken and I believe life without her wouldn’t be nearly as wonderful or complete in whatever time I have left to enjoy on this earth. So she is me and I am he,r and will be for always.
As a side note… me femme wardrobe now far exceeds my drab wardrobe, and grows often!