Thanks for opening this sensitive and taboo topic, Riley. I imagine a lot of us struggle in different ways about this.
I still love and find strength in God and I go faithfully and lovingly to Sunday services. I have never felt that God has turned away from me. God will always love me no matter what I think, choose or do. I remain in prayer about both my crossdressing and homosexual desires, but I leave the power of the urges in God’s hands. If God wishes to take away these urges, then it God’s job to change me.
I am open to truth. I am not looking for voices to echo what I want to believe. I am willing to change if that be the course, but so far the attraction to female attire remains strong.
Our journeys are all so personal and intimate. They also remain on a continuum and never end. Can we accept that the only path is a seeking heart, not fear or condemnation?
I hope this helps.