I am not sure what you are asking, to be honest. Your wife knows you dress and is accepting but just doesn’t want to see it or talk about it. I think it’s quite simple. What’s your end game to trying to force a conversation through? Do you want to dress in front of her? If she has told you she doesn’t want that, you have your answer. I think your motivation is important so be clear in your head in what you are trying to achieve by initiating a conversation with someone who has told you doesn’t want that. Once you have that firmly in your head, you can approach her with your request. She can think about it and come back to you. I believe in clear talking without any mind games but you wife might prefer dancing around an issue that makes her uncomfortable. So depends, really. I am saying that because if my husband came to me and tried a long-winded way to tell me something, my reply would have been “what do you want?”
So my question basically is, what do you want from her?