I see myself as “custom made”. People like to make everything simple so the society declared a simple “type” of people and everyone should be belong to one of these “types”. But it’s not true in nature: people have complicated needs and fetishes.
I’m a mixture of all, 1, 2 and 3, but I’m much more 1 and 3 then 2. I do dream to magically turned into a real woman, and I do started to do more femme moves, but it’s more to serve 1 and 3 then I really feel that I “trapped inside a man body”. I made my body to looks something between: I have natural long hair and it make me to look younger then my real age (close to 50! with my original dark brown long hair), I’m thin and I keep my body no hairy at all anywhere except my long hair. So more it’s more femme look, but on the other hand I don’t mind to have muscles. I have pretty shaved legs with muscles 🙂 So it’s more femme look but more a combination of both.
As for clothes, I’m wearing my normal man clothes, recently more skinny and tight, but on the other hand I don’t feel comfortable wearing tight clothes, makeup and heels for more then a short time. Not from the look of it or what the other will say. I do look good in it and it make it horny, but I suffer that it’s too tights and the shoes hurt after short time. When I’m alone at home I do wear a dress, skirt, femme underwear, stockings, etc. Less then that I put a lipstick but I’m almost ALWAYS putting lipstick before a take a shower. When my wife is not around I’m ALWAYS go into bad with a femme clothes on. My wife knows but I’m proffering to sleep naked with her anyway 🙂
As for sex: it’s a kind of fetish after all. That’s how I explained my wife more then 10 years ago when we started to date and I told her about my secret me after some time. She was the first one that I dated that I was exposed to her about my “secret femme life”. I neither told my ex wife nor my ex girlfriends. It do improved our sex at the beginning so I recommended to tell your partner! We are not doing it anymore, but more because two things: our relationship is not in is best lately so our sex is lately is more dry. The other reason for no femme clothes with sex: most women are not really like a femme partner, even these that tried sex with other women. Most will aceppt you and really be supportive to your needs, but for most women it’s ugly and not attractive at all. If you are very lucky your partner has a fetish for femme man! my dream partner! sadly my wife is very supportive and understands my needs, but as most women are thinking, it make me less attractive to her.
More about sex and fetishes: I do need my CD fetish as I need food and sex! If I don’t have it then I’m nerves and hungry. I guess like drugs, and I’m not doing drugs, I keep my body healthy! Anyway, this is my natural addiction and I need it. When I have it then I less need it after, until I’m hungry for it again.
Getting old: As I’m close to 50 now and I do need sex as before, but I feel that my CD fetish is less effecting now, but it’s hard to tell. I feel better to dress when my wife is not around, so in the past I was dreaming what I’ll do before that she went for a few days and I was crazy in hunger for the CD fetish feeding, but yesterday my wife went for a few days and while I do dressed, for some reason I less needed it and I was in more of the “OK, let’s feed it because I need it” mood then exploding like it always was in that situation.
Getting old 2: Am I more in desire to be a women? more trapped inside a man body? Will I become gay? I still don’t know! I less think about the last one. Men are not attractive for me but I do like the fantasy of a man with muscles fuck me as a woman in brutality. In case of men, I hate hairy so much! even on myself. I do have a fantasy of a time travel machine that will allow me to meet me in different time in the past and then we all do a huge sex together 🙂 but you always feel natural with your body so it’s different. It’s just a good fantasy idea! Except for the hairy that I badly dislike, I don’t have any real feeling to other man. I do want to try gay sex one time, only because I feel that I need to try anything in life 🙂 I don’t feel hungry for it at all. Am I trapped inside a man body? I’m still not sure and I’m still not sure that in the future I’ll not turn into living as I trans somewhere full time dressing as a woman everywhere. I really don’t know yet.
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