This is a great question. It is one I have only really started asking myself, in the last four years.
The reason for this is because of the environment where I was working. In an office and industry that is predominately female, I knew that the time was right to come out properly. It turned out that they had a feeling that I crossdressed anyway, which made things easier but nevertheless, actually talking and speaking those words was difficult at first. Still, walking into the office as Samantha for the first time, was absolutely nerve racking.
As I said to someone who asked the question, Batman cannot exist without Bruce Wayne and vice versa, which I apply to Samantha also.
On reflection, it was like turning a valve to release the pressure that built up over 30 years previous.
I find letting others know about Samantha and their acceptance surprising, as reactions can be so different, yet I have found nothing but support and encouragement. It is hard sometimes to open up as I need to retain her inside for me.
In the last couple of years, I have pondered the ultimate question of explaining why? Is it genetic makeup, nature v nurture etc, and came to the conclusion that if those have brought me to where I am right now, then I celebrate that and accept that she will always be a part of me.
Samantha x x