My take on this is that you, like most of us, are somewhere on the transgender spectrum……. The problem is different labels mean different things to different people, so you can just as easily describe yourself as crossdresser, transvestite, gender fluid, bi gender. What you have to think about is how the people you are describing yourself to will translate your description, and therein lies the problem, no mater what word you use it is open to misconception by people who know little about us. So, my thinking , here in the UK at the moment, Trans seems to be reasonably well accepted, and as I say you are somewhere on the trans spectrum, that is the term I would use as an overall term that most people will understand and accept. I would send them a message explaining you are trans and want to join, and see what response you get, they may ask, What does that mean? they may just say yes you can join, or they may turn you down, you’ll never know unless you ask………….
You say in your reply to Bobbie:
If I present showing off the Bianca in me, thinking feeling acting dressing the way that makes me happiest , am I being deceitful?
Or is being the man I’m SUPPOSED to be, dressing in drab, being a male role model, stand up dad etc being deceitful, not the true me?
Both sides of you are the real you, one will not exist without the other, because that is what makes you, well you. It’s difficult coming to terms with your whole self but it’s worth it in the end. You are not being deceitful in either scenario, you are still you, you just present differently. I have to live a lot of my time, well most of it at the moment, in drab because that’s just how life is, but when I get out in Andrea mode I just enjoy my life more irrespective of what I am doing. I am not deceiving anybody, at close quarters, most will know exactly what I am anyway…………….