You made a statement at the end of your post “because that is what we do for our loved ones”. Why does this have to be one way? If she is not willing to do the things for her loved one, is it really fair? I am not suggesting she is the one who should suck it up, but if she is worth keeping, and I believe she could be even though she is not happy to find out about your feminine side, you two should be able to talk and work out a compromise.
Just my opinion on this.