Dear Focus and Sunshine, welcome to being involved with a cross dresser. I am sorry to say that most of us have had to hide ourselves from not only others, but ourselves. I am fortunate to have a wifey that has stuck with me and taught me how to be honest with not only her, but myself as well. Many of us have built a defense mechanism that entails lying to ourselves and denying to ourselves about many aspects of our own personalities, desires and needs. This lying or deceitful trait becomes so ingrained to protect us from the scorn and ridicule from others that many times we lie without need or want out of habit, ie; hows the weather (when its snowing and -20 with 40mph wind), great, a little brisk. I used to find myself hiding things that didn’t matter just because it was “easier” than telling the truth. This caused more problems than the actual dressing and took many years to correct. It also took me becoming mature enough to accept myself and not worry about what others thought. If you are in it for the long haul then be prepared to be patient and help bring your SO out of their shell through talking and supporting them. This may sound easy or even silly, but sometimes pushing for the truth and honesty can make them feel backed into a corner and cause more denial. I found that when we talked openly about little stuff after the conversation had UNINTERRUPTED time to develop the bigger issues would start to come out and allow me to be open and honest. Remind yourself from time to time that your SO has had to hide this and not slip up and out themself for many years and if you think a wild animal has a great self defense mechanism they have nothing on a closeted cross dresser. Be patient, open and keep the conversation light and easy and it will blossom into a deeper more open dialogue. Direct questions do feel like an interrogation and can force us to put up walls. I wish you the best as it seems you genuinely want to communicate and care. Also remind yourself what they are “hiding” may be as simple as wanting to see what other cd’s look like. The other extreme may be they know they are more tg than cd and just not ready to admit to themselves yet. Move slow and be patient and understanding, which you indicated you are. Good luck! If you have any questions I will try to answer openly and without deception so feel free to pm if you think I could help.
Join Our Community
Enjoy some girl talk
Meet crossdressers, make friends and share your inner women with others. Crossdresser Heaven has a vibrant community, with more than 35,000 members and dozens of daily posts and crossdressing topics to explore.
Chat, share photos and discover the woman inside you!
Shop the Crossdresser Heaven Store
New in the Crossdresser Heaven Forum
Support our Sponsors
We may receive a commission for purchases made through links to our sponsors. This helps us maintain Crossdresser Heaven and provide a safe, welcoming and supportive place for the community.
Share Your Opinion
- active 29 minutes ago
- active 5 hours ago
- active 5 hours ago
- active 9 hours ago
- active 19 hours ago
- I’m Back December 4, 2020
I hadn’t given much thought to crossdressing the last 26 years. I can’t tell you why I quit, but I knew my belief in Christianity had been a large influence. That was back in 1988; I was 28 years old. Life passes and the year was 2014, I had separated from my wife and moved t...
- Thanks to the many people behind the mirror at CDH! December 4, 2020
This article was inspired by a conversation I had with another one of the girls here at CDH. There is so much which makes this an interesting and special place for crossdressers on the internet, however, so much of it is not apparent to most users. If you love this place like I d...
- Wish I Could Get My Girl On More Often! December 3, 2020
There was a recent weekend where I had some things to get done. With Christmas coming there is the outside decorations that need to go up. My wife was out and about but my daughter was home. Candy could not come out to play. However, I have been wearing my thong panties u...
New Every Day – Featured Photos
Every day we feature new photos of the members of Crossdresser Heaven.
Transgender Heaven is Open!
Transgender Heaven is an inclusive, welcoming and safe place to discuss topics related to gender transition.
Share Crossdresser Heaven
As we move into the new year we look forward to growing our community and giving more people a safe, supportive and welcoming place to be themselves.
Please share Crossdresser Heaven with your friends and others who may benefit from our community.
If you have a website, please consider placing one of our banners on your website.
With love and gratitude.