Sorry to hear that things have not gone well. Life can get ugly sometimes as we are always imperfect creatures. It’s just how we, as humans, are. However, that in no way excuses the behaviors that you have mentioned.
Anyway, I will raise one point. Being someone’s partner is a series of actions and responses and it applies to both. One of the things that counseling does is to get one to think about difficult things that we may not want to consider. The human mind is slippery and we can tell ourselves all sorts of things that appear to make sense, but don’t hold up under close scrutiny. That’s where the counselor comes in. But, it doesn’t mean that an issue is addressed at exactly that point in time, but the counselor works to keep the issue in front of us and in our consciousness. Over time, hopefully this means that an issue gets understood and processed.
I say this as it may be useful for you to spend some time with a counselor. After you partner sorts out what he needs to do going forward, then is falls to you to figure out how to respond to that. However you choose to respond, it could make the understanding clearer and assist your resolve going forward.
Anyway, you are not the first and sadly you won’t be the last.
Best Wishes for a Good Outcome…