Dear Focus and Sunshine,
You are hurting. You need to take care of yourself. That should be your priority, not trying to sort out others justifications and smoke screens. Let others reap what they sow.
My ex cheated on me. I invested a lot of time trying to make things work. But it’s hard to run a one legged race. Now I look back and wonder if it’s even possible to earn trust back.
Give yourself a big hug, just for being you!