Sorry that you found out about his looking at gay websites, He says he is turned on by that as well as other things. I know you are hurt, feel disrespected and don’t know what to do at this point. Take some time to reflect and dig down deep to figure out what you truly want and if he will fulfill that want and need. It sounds like you are good with the cross dressing, which many ladies sad to say cannot handle.
If you decide to stay and work things out, he already is being fully open with you, maybe you can take a more dominate “male” role with him if that is what he is looking for . I know many Cd’s when dressed have interest in other cd’s or guys. But that is not what every cd is looking for.
Take some time to think long and hard about about what you want to do. If you stay, you will need to figure out how to not go down this path again.
Take care and keep us posted.