I disagree that virtual texting / sexting is a harmless fantasy. It’s incredibly destructive to the relationship.
It’s as destructive as pornography is. You are bringing a third party into the bedroom. And it’s not honoring to your partner.
In many ways texting / sexting is more destructive than porn because you are engaging in sexual activity with someone else who responds back to you.
In other words, its complete betrayal to your partner, and your relationship.
Its my observation that so called open relationships cannot, and do not work.
This is exactly how I feel. You have articulated it much more clearly and succinctly than I have.